Walking Along with Elefants

THe thing is .. that I actually have no theme to start with. 

If there’s someone out there that may have a slight idea of what a good idea is... be my guest :( 

Como cuando quieres irte a beber.. pero sabes que al dìa siguiente debes levantarte temprano..

Así es, mañana iré a mi hermoso Puebla, a ver a mi querida madre y a mi adorado padre. El plan es ir de shopping, y comer juntos. Celebrar el día de la madre, a pesar de que desafortunadamente no tengo regalo alguno para mi madre.. 

Escribo ésta vez en español porque de cualquier manera, siento tan personal éste espacio que creo que no importa si hay alguien capaz de comprender lo que escribo.

Entre otras noticias, refiriéndome a mi ámbito laboral, siento como si no estuviera dando lo más que puedo, estoy acostumbrada a un perpetuo estrés y sin embargo últimamente mi cantidad de trabajo ha disminuido a por lo menos un 40%... me preocupa no ser el foco de atención, ya que ahora nadie hace caso ni sabe lo que estoy haciendo, es bastante desilusionante ya que en algún momento llegué a tomar una gran partida en mí área y el día de hoy pude sentir como no estaba avanzando, cómo varias cosas se me escaparon y cómo tenía razón en admitir que no sabía sobre cierto tema .. pedir ayuda, ser ignorada y la Alicia del presente se encuentra en problemas por no saber qué chinitas hacer. 

I mean >only good vibes here< but geez--- she really exhaust all the good in me to actually try to bring the bad and mean person I used to be... 

She has spoke yesterday about how bad she felt having my boyfriend stayin’ over almost everynight... 

And, to be honest, I felt that too. He stays here a LOT. 

Winter has left and brought an awesome spring with him.. (whot whooot whoooooot) 

the worst is that when we finally fuck... he cames in 3 seconds... 

You see, I do like that he goes away with his family, because I know he’s a good boy. But... he just don’t seem to care about my needs.

Yes, I am talking about sex. 

Yesterday i was SO hot in the morning.. and he only yawn and wake the fuck out of me because it was getting late to go to work (even when is not even a day you supposed to work)

He’s destroying this relationship by leaving me behind. By not understanding me... I have needs. And i don’t know how to fullfill ‘em. I need a boyfriend who fucks my lungs out.. and who really likes to do it. 

So.. I don’t know how I’m feeling right now: angry or disappointed? .. 

I don’t have the reasons to be angry, and to be disappointed means that I was actually expecting something that did not happened. 

Glad to know that my best-friend thinks same as me.. and even tho we never talk, when we do it, it is like no time has passed. 

It does not matter if my boss does not sees me as part of the team, I know there’s some lesson hidding.. is it <never too late to learn to let go>.

Good thing to know is that this kind of mentality helps me to understand whenever I am struggling for material things. 

I will be, instead, glad and happy for what I have, who says I am not acting just like the housekeeper? Pretending that they aren’t being good to me?...

Let’s re-chapter this, do they keep on pissing me off?.. not actually. They have this weird of working, BUUUUUT they always support me, the rest of the team. Maybe, I am not acting like <Team> 

What if I am wrong. And I need to align myself for once. I am not saying that I just accept it the way it is. I mean that if I get to understand what’s behind this <angry-ness> 

Or maybe is because I am not getting the sex I need to have lol..

Shoot.. Today I did not end. You know what I’m trying to say here? ...

Hello again, 

So, today at the job, was a veeery slow-motion day. I am saying that my boss does not even care if I am there or not.. he never asks if everything is even on track. Once, I though that he may be considering upgrade my position, once my boyfriend left the company.. nothing happened. 

Now, my boyfriend is back at his old position, even tho he knows is too much work for him. And I’m sitting there.. very bored. 

Dealing with the upper positions, who always want everything SO burocratic.. I am refering that If you messed something up like 2 months ago, and now you want to redeem your mistake... they almost want to cut your head off !! instead of being at least supportive.. let’s not say about grateful.. because for the first you should have done things right from the beggining. But well, everyone mess up things and then again, you need your boss to support your decisions. But as I said, he does not even care if I’m there or not. 

I am very glad to be working there, my old jobs where kinda worse.. 

But what should I do?.. look for something where they valuate more the worker?? I know that I am better than they think.. if they only give me one chance. 

I am a project engineer, in the automotive area. I need challenges every fucking day to keep me interested. 

Right now, I DON’T HAVE NEW PROJECTS to work on.. just the old ones, whose start of production is next month.. 

I am very good at what I do. I am. 

I can´t stop watching grey’s anatomy...

So, since I started to type in here, I feel myself pretty release. It is so good !!! And two days ago, my laptop decided that her OS had to crashed.. which cost me to fix around $850 MXN... and I have like NO money at all.. but #priorities.

So... 

I guess I ring my bell sooner than I need. 

My cousin has started “talking” again.. she has this night terrors. Where she starts screaming very loudly. Sometimes it gives me the creeps..