Wake Myself Up

Removing expectations with people, events, and life will help you to appreciate all the good when it happens. Because, you ultimately free up your mind.

We’ve all been there.

Let’s say, for example, your birthday is coming up. You get so excited, because you just know your boyfriend is going to take you out to eat, get you a great present, and perhaps take you away for the weekend.

The day gets closer and you haven’t heard about any upcoming plans from your boyfriend, yet. You think – maybe he’s going to surprise me? Or, perhaps he’s letting it go until the last minute (like last year). So, you wait and hope you won’t be disappointed. Again.

Except, you ARE disappointed. AGAIN.

Want to know why? Because you had EXPECTATIONS. You had expectations about your boyfriend, about the present, the plans, and for the day in general. Since the day and your boyfriend didn’t live up to your expectations, you were disappointed. Because you EXPECTED something to happen a certain way.

Another example might be going on vacation. You plan months in advance. You prepay. Any and every option you could plan for was taken care of. This vacation is going to be the BEST vacation you’ve ever had. You tell yourself this. Because, you have EXPECTATIONS regarding the vacation and how everything is supposed to go.

And GUESS WHAT happens?

You were disappointed and upset when your plans and vacation didn’t go as expected. The plane was delayed. Your reservation got mixed up. You didn’t get to go to that perfect restaurant you had your mind set on. Your EXPECTATIONS and reality didn’t align, so you got upset and disappointed.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could REMOVE EXPECTATIONS?

Just imagine a life FREE from EXPECTATIONS. Que sara sara type of stuff…leaving one’s life to the hands of fate. Whatever will be, will be. By removing expectations, you FREE your mind and soul to the beauty of what WILL BE. Life will have more surprises, more pleasure. And, ultimately, more happiness.

Now, imagine your birthday WITHOUT EXPECTATIONS. You look forward to your birthday, of course, but you keep the day open and exciting and surprising. Allowing whatever to be, to be. You might be pleasantly surprised by something unexpected…and it turned out to be the BEST birthday EVER. Your boyfriend DID forget…BUT it made the day spontaneous. You had so much fun doing things spur of the moment that YOU forgot HE forgot. The day ended up being wonderful, anyway. You were happy as you laid your head down to sleep that night.

Imagine that vacation WITHOUT EXPECTATIONS, too. You made the plans, but kept the options open to fate. You knew where you were going and where you were staying, however, the mix up turned into a blessing. Your room was upgraded. That delayed plane allowed you to talk to another passenger that let you know of some really cool places to see at your destination. Places you didn’t know about before. You ended up eating at the BEST local restaurant that had the MOST amazing food. Your vacation was breezy, and fun, and one of the BEST you ever had.

Because you REMOVED your EXPECTATIONS.

COVID forces awareness in areas of life we didn’t realize needed to be reviewed.

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m much more aware of things in life than ever before. Being given a gift of time and circumstance has really helped me see what truly matters. I have slowed down and appreciated my family more. My hobbies have come back to life. Areas of life needing attention have now been realized. I have worked on myself like never before. Because COVID, for me, has been a blessing.

I know many of you don’t feel the way I do. You probably think COVID has been a curse, an inconvenience, or a struggle. You would be right, of course. However, let’s take a moment to see the positives it has provided.

Being forced to slow down during COVID.

This may not seem like a big deal, but it is. We’ve been stuck in a rat race for most of our life. Running around everyday…all day. Working hard, running errands, attending obligations, and spending a lot of time away from home, for instance. It’s like running in circles, going nowhere. So, we feel frazzled and stressed out. A vacation always sounds like a wonderful idea. Except, we never seem to have time to take one. Or, we don’t have enough money…which causes us to work harder and MORE.

By slowing down, we’re given opportunities to focus on areas of our lives being neglected or forgotten. Since we weren’t able to travel, go out to eat, attend events, or even work in the office, we’ve been able to spend more time at home. Spending more time with our families, kids, and pets for instance. Discovering we enjoy the new quality time we have now. Or, realizing working from home has been a blessing in disguise. Because if we didn’t slow down, we never would have discovered these things about ourselves or our lives.

Knowing what makes us happy…and what doesn’t.

Do you really enjoy going into the office every day…struggling with rush hour traffic, working along side people you can’t stand, or working somewhere you secretly hate? Has working from home helped you to free up your time…no traffic, working by yourself, and doing work that can be done at home anyway?

Or, better yet, have you been able to focus on finding areas of life and work you always wanted to try? I know I have. Several people I used to work with have found new professions fulfilling them in ways like never before. Because, now they’re focusing on their TRUE passion. COVID forces awareness in what makes us happy.

Being forced to face ourselves.

This might sound obvious, but it’s not always the case. Especially when we haven’t focused on ourselves in a while. Perhaps you had to work from home and you live alone. So, it’s quite possible you didn’t think having someone in your life mattered until you were alone all day…every day. Maybe this prompted you to focus on finding a special someone, taking an online course, getting a pet, or discovering a new hobby.

Or, maybe you suddenly realized you didn’t really like the color of your walls in your home. You discovered something new about yourself, because you weren’t forced to realize it until now. This may have prompted you to paint your walls a new color and it now makes you happy or peaceful. Who knows? It might lead to a new hobby…like painting for others, painting art, or creating murals. So, had it not been for COVID, we wouldn’t have discovered NEW aspects of ourselves, or improved ourselves. COVID forces awareness in many areas of our life.

Agreeing we are tired of COVID and the limitations it has imposed.

Our health matters a great deal to us.

At a certain point in our lives, our bodily health also becomes more important to us. When starting to notice the signs of aging or being overweight is when the focus tends to turn towards the body. What can be done to fix things? What can be done to create longevity and weight loss? Also, what can be done to feel better? After all, the body is our soul vessel.

It doesn’t matter if you are just now noticing these things and wanting to change. It matters that you are willing to.

Our body is our vessel.

Our energetic soul is residing in our body. We need to take good care of it.

I’ve been noticing some changes with my body. Since starting to ‘wake up‘, I’ve noticed that certain foods don’t appeal to me. I don’t care to eat as much, and I have wanted to get more physical exercise into my routine. (Something that I really didn’t have a desire to do in the past.) I’ve been listening to my body…changing the foods I eat and desire. Eating less, getting more or less sleep, and introducing some cardio and weight lifting into my days. Small changes. Changes that come when the time is right and feel good for my body.

The key is to listen.

Try adopting more of a holistic approach to treating our body as a whole. Not just the symptoms when they arise, which can be more beneficial than you may think. You can contribute to your own health and well-being through a variety of things. Exercises, movements, breathing practices, meditations, visualizations, posture, music, healthy eating and uplifting of the spirit are some examples.

These are ways we can all introduce being healthier and more mindful of our body:

Get moving – walking, stretching, dancing, yoga, bicycling, climbing stairs, lifting weights, resistance bands, swimming, hiking – whatever gets you motivated and excited to move

Eat healthier – eat more fruits, vegetables, healthy proteins, less meat, more organic and fresh, eat less, drink more water – just implementing some of these changes can make all the difference in your health and healthy weight

Stand and sit straight – don’t slouch, relax your shoulders, stretch your body throughout the day – these little things can prevent headaches, body fatigue and pain, and improve digestion

Listen to music – whatever makes you happy, calm, stress-free, energetic – music can work wonders on our mood and perceptions of life

Meditate – take some time each day to enjoy the quiet, find a solitary place to just relax…even if it’s just for 10 minutes

Breath deeply and mindfully – long focused breathing can help improve our thoughts, moods and energy levels

Sleep – if your body feels tired or you want to take a nap…then DO IT – on the flipside…if you can’t sleep then GET UP and get moving, read a book, enjoy the sunrise – listen to your body

Daydream – let your mind wander down the path of visualizations, good memories, a place you’d rather be (like on a beach somewhere), doodle or draw, think of new ideas, journal – these are all releases of stress on our brains…because, sometimes we need a break, even if it’s only in our mind

Something interesting happened to me late one night, which allowed me to recognize how to stay present.

I couldn’t fall asleep. I was watching TV and I was restless. There was a lot on my mind – the usual things that keep us up and prevent us from sleeping; things to do, things I was worried about, the future…you name it.

All of a sudden I felt like I snapped back into my body and was looking around me like I had been away for a long time.

It felt as if I was just NOW returning to my body.

I newly observed everything around me – the bedroom, the light coming in the windows, my love sleeping soundly next to me, the dogs breathing…it was like an out of body experience. Except that I was RETURNING to my body. I was seeing things as if for the first time. I was fully PRESENT.

It was such an odd sensation that I didn’t fully realize what I was feeling. I don’t think I had ever been that present in a moment my whole life. It was only later that I realized what I had experienced. This got me thinking that none of us are fully present in any given time for very long – if at all.

I wanted this to happen all the time.

So, I began letting myself be present when I caught myself getting overwhelmed or stressed or worried about anything. I focused on the here and NOW. Right now. The way my body felt sitting in the bed, the feel of the blanket covering my lap, the smell of the fabric softener. If I was eating something, I would close my eyes and really enjoy the food. I could taste all the nuances of the flavors; the way it felt in my mouth, the chewing, the savoring.

I discovered something…I enjoyed things more.

My days became more joyful. I didn’t have racing thoughts, I didn’t worry, I didn’t stress as much, I was more present. Do you know what? Things are so much smaller than what our minds perceive. Our worries, our stresses…are SO much smaller than what we imagine. Do you know what else? Food tastes WAY better when I fully enjoy it. The blanket feels SO much softer and cozier when I am more aware of it. My thoughts slow down, my breathing slows down, my heart rate slows down – I feel better. I feel SO much better.

Try staying present in your day.

There is so much importance in our daily rituals.

I remember first realizing that there was something SO important about doing certain things the same way…every day.

I am someone that needs rituals. From the way I get ready in the morning, to how I get ready for bed each night. These are just a couple of the ways that I include rituals into my daily life. There are others of course. Like the thoughts that I run through my mind when I’m in the shower; the way I do the dishes; saying “I love you” to my kids and to my supreme love each day.

These rituals are important to me.

Not for the WAY in which I do things, but that there is comfort in remembering to do these things each day. For myself and for those I love. It keeps me mindful of practicing love and remembering to say it to them each day. As well as the positive self-talk I include in my shower ritual brings me comfort. It’s also very healing. A GREAT habit to get into. The calming rituals of how I get ready in the morning and how I get ready for bed are important to start and end my days. And the dishes? Well, that’s just another way I can focus my thoughts while taking care of a daily task.

There may be other rituals that spring to mind for you. Like going on a daily jog, taking your kids to school, cooking supper, brushing your dog — OR perhaps it’s praying each night before you sleep.

There is something very comforting for our minds when we do things with purpose, thought and intention each day.

Not everything needs to be stressed over and not everything needs to be constantly changing in our lives.

Welcome to Wake Myself Up!

Thank you for deciding to journey with me through life and all its messiness. We can all get stuck and need a little helping hand to get us up and at ’em.

I absolutely know that we ALL have it in ourselves to unstuck ourselves. To Wake Ourselves Up. Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom — or sometimes it takes having yourself reflected back to you and not liking what you see. Perhaps you just KNOW you can be a better person. For yourself — for someone else. OR maybe you know that there must be MORE to life and our true purpose than what we’ve been told to believe.

Whatever the reason, I can help.

For me — it was all the above. I hit rock bottom. After meeting my ‘mirror,’ I discovered I had a TON to work on within myself…because it nearly cost me everything. I knew if I didn’t change I would lose out on being completely happy for the rest of my life. So, I did it for us. But, most importantly, I did it for ME. Because, at the end of the day, it’s ourselves we have to be with inside our brain…ALL THE TIME. If we don’t like ourselves, we won’t like what goes on inside at all.

I wanted to be happy

My brain needed to STOP the nonsense thoughts, the worry, the negative self-talk, the obsessive small minded notions built from issues stemming from childhood. I wanted it all GONE. It was important that I heal. The ME I knew I was — was there deep inside. I was just waiting to be free of my worldly brain.

Let me tell you — it wasn’t easy.

No WAY was it easy. I took a long hard look at myself through someone else’s eyes — and it was about the most difficult thing I’ve ever done. To own up to my faults. Acknowledging them and to consciously work through them.

It was painful — I’m not going to sugar coat it. I hit my breaking point many times…and, if I’m being honest, my ‘mirror’ had his breaking point tested many times, too. I was lucky…my mirror didn’t break. He held true and shiny and full of love for me. Every day. Even on the days I couldn’t stand myself. If it had been ANYONE else, I would be lost. I would have lost everything. But, I didn’t.

I decided I needed to WAKE MYSELF UP and be accountable for my thoughts, actions, words and life.