Waiting on Insanity

There's a certain inevitability about the fact that no matter how tactfully I try and be sometimes the customer is wrong. Like when you insist somethings on our menu that not only isn't now, but never was.

PROTIP  don't stare at your server unless you want someone. It's weird. Actually don't stare at anyone for an extended period of time. Its creepy.

There's a lovely lady I work with who finds it terribly amusing to throw chocolate at me. Relevant information, I am allergic to chocolate, she knows it.

I dont understand people who wait  a whole hour to be sat 

I just love it when tables don't believe me or the menu about the price of things

I have no words to express how much I hate it when people mumble when they're placing an order, neither apparently, do they.

You don't know horror until you realize a 3 gallon bag of ketchup seems normal to you.

Yesterday I had a table  ask me to sit down because they were quite certain there chair was kicking them from the inside. Spoiler alert. It wasn't.

You know what's great? When you work at a joint that sells lemonade and people ask for copious amounts of both lemons and sugar. We know what you're doing. You are not sneaky. At least be honest so I can get all your shit in one go instead of 4.

Today I had a table ask to sit at a table, after I sat them at a booth. You know when would have been a better time to tell me that? When I asked you if you wanted a booth or a table.

Oh! I'm sorry I didn't realizes you were talking to me as  you mumbled your order wile looking at someone else.

Today I was cashing out a customer when her very seriously asked me "what is the weight of the raw meat that was in my dish?" Now  I feel it relevant to add I have never ever worked in the back of the house/kitchen, also there were several people in line.behind him. i told him I would be more then happy  to tell him just as soon as I cashed the people behind him out, but that I did not know and would have to go a weigh said raw meat. He then called me rude and demanded to speak with my manager. jokes on him though cause I still cashed those fuckers out and  my manager told him he didn't know and to try googling it.

Today a table called me stupid because I brought them what they asked for. They intended to ask for something else,  from somewhere else. I have never noticed my on inadequacies of mind reading as much as at that moment. Thank  you for helping me grow as a person.

Yes it is in fact my job to ask you if you want fries with that. I didn't realize yours was to be a little bitch and point out that's what it comes with in the picture.  My bad

I don't care what fancy name we have for our hamburgers, if you put a slice of cheese on it t becomes a cheeseburger   

What would you do if someone handed you a bill to pay for there food that came sweaty out of a brassier? This is less a theoretical question more of what happened today.