erm

jsyk the twt tempura have an alliance with the nijifans, in exchange for us voting for betsy they gotta sub to ryoma barrenwort

Well… it is a problem.

And that’s what happens when you’re the only one who doesn’t know what’s going on with this guy.

He says, “For your bravery and dedication, you will be greatly rewarded. This is what we’re going to do: choose any length of your body to be measured, and I will give you as many million dollars as feet the part you chose is long.”

The first soldier spreads his arms as much as he can and asks to be measured from fingertip to fingertip. He gets 5 million dollars.

The second soldier stands upright and asks to be measured from head to toes. He gets 6 million dollars.

The third soldier asks to be measured from dick to balls.

“Are you sure?” the general asks, baffled.

The soldier nods and unzips his pants. The general simply shrugs and begins to measure his dick. Then, he stops.

“Soldier, where are your testicles?”

The four men are all on a zoom call with their boss. Their boss asks “Can you see me?” and they respond

“Yes”

“Oui”

“Si”

AU where Sokka’s high-on-cactus-juice encounter with the giant mushroom takes a dark turn. (Also he has a gun)

based on this beautiful tumblr post

bonus: