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i still can’t believe renaissance fairs are real

it’s like anime expo for fans of the black plague

have you ever actually been to one or are you just basing this on that episode of family guy

the implication that i’ve ever seen an episode of family guy in my life is worse than all the medieval insults that have been thrown at me so far

my new roommate’s best friend literally says “we’ll just go out for one drink” on a weeknight, goes to a club, has ONE drink while everyone else is getting to it, and then tells everyone when it’s time to go home so they can actually make it to class in the morning and I’m genuinely terrified by the amount of self control she has

saying you’ll just have one drink at the club on a school night and then following through and getting up for class the next day demonstrates the exact level of resolve it took to amputate your own arm on an 18th century battlefield

With teskashi69 facing life in prison, we may finally see a mumble rapper complete a sentence.

grown ass men are out here not eating fruit or vegetables or washing their face and having a list of things women must do to be attractive to them and thus gain their respect like grow the fuck up and eat a carrot literally no woman needs you

life hack: u dont have to be a wolf to yell sad noises at the moon

remember when John Mulaney took a full minute out of his stand up to explain the ending of The Fugitive

clouds rly are amazing. what are they made of? no one knows.

……water?

maybe! no one knows.