Doowhop&Blah

Real talk, I feel empty inside. Spending money on myself and making me feel like I love myself makes me feel like I'm filling in that empty void, but here I am. I'm still trying to search for something to make me feel complete, but it just feels pointless to even try.

Sometimes I wish I had a vagina so I didn't have to douche before having sex.

I'm at the point where I'm questioning of I'm single because I really don't want to be in a relationship or simply because I'm not a datable person. It kind of sucks that I see my friends dating, getting into relationships, getting engaged—just seeing them happy with somebody who makes them happy and feel like they're worth something. Seeing them have that while I'm just having random hook ups and meaning relationships makes me feel skeptical that I'll never have what they have. Like I'll just always be that guy that people only want to hook up with, but never date.

Well, they do say your early 20's are your experimental years, soooo

Well, I guess I was nothing to you. Time wasted. Energy wasted. You're just like every other guy.

I don't remember the last time a guy gave me a rim job. Holy fuck. I am sexually frustrated.

Now that I'm emotionally unavailable, guys are hitting me up. Like, Where were you when I could still be a hoe a month ago?

I guess it's not healthy for me to keep in all of this pent up anger, and as much as I told myself I don't want to hate you, I fucking hate you.

We can be "just friends". I don't have an issue with it. But if you want to be "just friends", then don't flirt with me. Don't text or call me until the end of the night. Don't make me feel like I'm something special to you when I shouldn't feel special at all. If you want to be "just friends", then stop giving me hope that there will be a something more between us.