Pay cops on commission for speeding tickets

that’s how they already be acting though

I actually hate being sappy like I’ll say “I missed you today” then immediately drag them to diffuse the situation

“Where were you today? I missed u. Thought ya lil ugly ass went and joined the soul circus”

a broken man

This is the funniest shit I’ve seen in my life.

Y'all are gonna ruin that man.

IF 👏 A 👏 LARGE 👏 DOG 👏 THINKS 👏 IT’S 👏 A 👏 LAP 👏 DOG 👏 IT’S 👏 A 👏 LAP 👏 DOG 👏

I will not beg you for your time or try to convince you to choose me, the world is too big and I have too much to offer.

theres nothing i hate more than open ended plans like when you talked about doing something with someone but you never officially set it up. is this real like should i request off work……please…. i need structure or ill die 

I wanna start eating healthier, wear loose sweaters, do more art, care less talk less and listen to music most of the time

then do it.......literally no one is stopping you