An open letter to the cute guy in my class
At first, I thought this was nothing, that I was just mesmerized by your looks but when you started talking to me, chatting with me and noticing me in class, that was the time I told myself that this was getting into something else. And I don’t think this feeling will pass by in a minute. I think it will take a long time because it seems like when you’re not around, I feel gloomy. I feel no energy at all. I keep thinking about you. I keep wanting to see you. But I know I should not feel this way. You are too pretty for me. Your skin color, your mind, your words and your face, they don’t match me at all. Another thing is that, you have someone beside you everytime already. Maybe she’s your bestfriend? Anyway, I don’t feel sad because of that but because I don’t think I can reach her level to be even near you. I am too flawed. My words are careless, my thoughts are stupid and I’m just plain. I have nothing fun with me. I feel so down for wanting to talk to you but I don’t have the right words and end up tongue tied. You are a great friend and I don’t want to lose you because of my feelings. I just hope this will go away soon. I don’t want to see myself like this. I pity myself.
And I lied back there when I said I ain’t feeling sad because of your little company because honestly, I feel so bitter, jealous and pathetic! Maybe it’s normal for you but you’re too close with her. It’s one of the reasons I can’t go near you because I’m afraid she’s a better company. She’s always already your partner in groupings. She’s the one who’s with you in and out of school. Like how the hell is that possible for a friend? She seems like your girlfriend. And I hate it. I want to be honest here so I won’t have regrets. So I won’t keep this feelings to myself because if I do, I might lose it.
