give 'em the ol' razzle dazzle

(Archivist's) curiosity killed the Peter (the laser eyes have finally come in handy)

so i think you definitely Did Not mean for this to be sad but i’m in a mood and dreading jon’s intros on statements for s5 and his general state after the end of s4 so this is what you wrought

‘How about Blackwood then?’

He says it calmly, voice steady and measured, arms still around Jon’s waist while the smaller man holds fistful of his jumper, face trying to bury itself in his shoulder.

‘What?’

‘If you can’t- if you’re so insistent that Jon Sims no longer exists, how about Jon Blackwood, hm? Sounds a lot nicer than just Archivist.’

He trails his knuckles down the side of Jon’s face, thumb catching on tears as he goes. ‘I won’t… I refuse to give up on you, Jon. You saved me, and I will not let you sit here and wallow in monsterous pity. Because you are not a monster. You’re the man I love and I will not hear elsewise, okay?’

Jon’s chest shakes, and he leans further into him for support. Martin continues to rub soft circles into the small of his back.

An ‘I love you’ comes, whispered between sobs, almost lost. But not quite.

‘I love you too. Do we have a deal then? Do you think you can do that for me, Mr Blackwood?’

Jon pulls back, watery eyes locking with Martin’s. ‘Yeah, yeah I think we do. Thank you… Mr Blackwood.’

Martin presses a kiss to the top of his head.

‘Wait. Shit. Did I just propose?’

Wishlist for tma s5:

jon cries a lot

martin holds a knife in one hand and jon’s hand in the other

and then he kicks jonah’s ass.

basira: yes?? what do you do?

jon: people say “what you don’t know won’t hurt you” when in factuality i don’t know anything and am constantly being seriously injured and hurt

tim: hey kids, i know youre struggling right now but im here to tell you, everything gets worse forever

martin: i’m sure i’m going to ruffle some feathers with this but given the choice between good times and bad times i would like to have the good times

sasha: i was too beautiful for this world [closes eyes with own hand]

not!sasha: hell i’ve caused my share of problems, accidentally set fire to important documents, destroyed countless priceless artifacts, and other things

melanie: sometimes the people that hurt us the most are the ones swinging big knives around while screaming and trying to cut us

basira: i did the best with the resources i was given, which was nothing

daisy: have to stop saying “how am i going to kill my way out of this one” everytime there is trouble going on, at least not out loud

georgie: the world continues to spiral out of control and i am just sitting here like a bad bitch

elias: i’ll tell you one thing, just because it is the least amount of thing i can tell

gertrude: if we do this we do it my way [cut to a bunch of explosions. corpses and debris fly through the air] okay maybe i should be more open to ideas

leitner: the best way to solve problems is to create more problems until you are dead

gerry: me: [wearing my cool goth clothes]

:some guy yelling from a car: halloween was yesterday

:me: halloween is forever bitch

jane prentiss: the insect world works for me now. trash the place boys [ants slowly dismantle the room over several years]

nikola orsinov: i don’t say this to everyone but i will barn shuffle dance on your grave.

michael: let the door hit you on the way out, it would give me a good laugh and i would probably forget why i was angry

helen: some people change, some people stay the same, and some people do a third other thing

peter lukas: a good captain goes down with the ship, i personally don’t need a professional obligation to sink to the bottom of the ocean, i just do it

mike crew: had a falling out with a window, basically what happened was i fell out of the window

simon fairchild: my disregard for gravity was the true cause of my downfall

jude perry: in a relationship you have to make sacrifices…. thats why for our anniversary i got you this bloody altar

annabelle cain: i guess its up to me now to take care of these baby spiders i found in the shed. the biting means they think im their mom.

mary kaey: only the good die young? phew good thing that i am so incredibly awful

manuela dominguez: i will jump out of this space ship and use wrestling moves to destroy the sun just you wait

oliver banks: my whole life has lead up to this moment, being dead in a grave

agnes montague: watching everything go up in flames has made me rethink everything i thought i knew about lighting things on fire

julia montauk: you can save money on hair cuts by running a hunting knife through your hair, then you have some extra cash to spend on hospital bills

trevor herbert: if i could shoot anything with a gun i would probably shoot another gun, the hunter become the hunted

robert smirke: to everyone who said this would never work, sorry about the huge amount of damage and all of the fires