he had a modest place of living towards the top of the lower mistrali echelons, just above the underground where he touched upon his most frequent places shops. it felt like the old huntsman was settling into a routine he didn’t ask for, nor wanted to, but had succumbed to nonetheless. after years of searching for what he’d lost, maybe it was time to accept that he might not have lost anything to begin with. really, what was there to base the assumption off ? hope ? well, at the very least his profession as a huntsman kept him busy from an otherwise impending boredom. from the moment he’d woken, he had known deep in his bones that fighting was something he was good at.

unfortunately, li’s clothes tended to disagree. signature lightweight cloak adorned robes had been torn, and it had been a very long time since the hood’s seams had been remade. quite honestly, it was embarrassing to bring the item into the clothing job in such a state of disrepair, but by this time li held sentimental attachment to anything he’d had upon waking. the cloak had seen him through very rough years and he’d like to save it if he could. his normal tailor however, was now under renovation, and he’d been prompted to visit one in the higher levels. the huntsman was prompt about approaching the nearest seamstress, eyes downcast until he’d fished the tattered piece of clothing out of his satchel, and prompt when speaking up until the moment he glanced to her face.

‘   do you think you can save ...   ’   li inhaled sharply, blinking rapidly as he stared at the woman in front of him. his head hurt, as well as his heart. but for reasons he couldn’t quite explain. they were normal phenomena, the plights of being an ageing huntman, but something felt ... not quite off. words were hard to come by when the breath had been stolen from your lungs.   ‘   my ...   ’   he stopped a moment, eyes looking down once more, away from her face.

‘   is it repairable ?   ’

     What had started out as a reasonably average day took a sudden turn for Ren. He’d been talking to a lone vendor about buying some fresh fruit, before he packed up his things and turned to leave. His mind was running through his thoughts too fast to comprehend any of them, and he wanted to get back to his friends as soon as he could. Carefully making his way through the crowded street, he barely even heard the voice of the man who spoke up to him. It wasn’t until the stranger’s hand was reaching out towards him that he realized something was going on. In that moment, his breath caught in his throat.

When he turned to face the other man, the first thing he noticed were his eyes. Wide and desperate, the eyes of the man in front of him brought about a feeling of intense dread. Silence spanned between the two, opposing the bustling market around them, and Ren swallowed thickly.

A beat later, his heart began to thunder in his chest. The thudding filled his senses and without warning, his eyes began to water. One tear slipped down his left cheek before he could stop it. His hands, clenched at his sides, were unable to move to wipe the stray rivulet from his face. Closing his eyes tightly, Ren fought to calm himself. One. Two. Three. He’s gone. This isn’t real. Three. Two. One. Opening his eyes once more, he blinked as his pupils focused on the sight in front of him once more. Despite what he’d told himself, the spitting image of his father stood before him yet. Ren’s mind raced with images of the last time he’d seen Li.

Another moment passed before Ren let out a choked whisper. “Father?”

the expression on his face felt sharper than any blade passed over his skin. it made something hot and burning in his chest rekindle into a fire, and gods, most of all it hurt. it hurt like ... like the pain he’d felt upon that first waking, in that infirmary missing far more than whole ribs, and all his limbs. it ached in a way it had for over ten years, somehow condensed into the expression of a complete stranger, and li had absolutely no way to explain exactly why this young man’s expression could trigger a wave of compact guilt like he did. visions, flashbacks, and emotions came to him in fleeting intervals, barely a second, but it was enough to make him stagger on the spot, and reach back as if he’d been stung by the frigid touch of dry ice.

i had to have misheard !   there was no way ...

li was assaulted with an image that hung in a quaint home. it was the standard of the town, but they could live better, they could live farther away, in a safer city once oniyuri was built. but until then, this home would be enough, and whenever he would walk into the doors, the sweet scent of the jasmine bushes would waft in from the window, he would hear the tinkling laugh of wind chime laughter and know he was home. why did looking into the depths of his gaze ache beyond measure ? more than a limb, or a lifetime of memories lost ? li swallowed nervously, blinking thrice down at him before eyes turned back to the knife. how did he know what it would feel like to twirl the weapon in his hands ? why ... oh gods, he had no idea how to deal with tears.

‘   ... i’m ... i’m sorry, i didn’t catch what you said.   ’

an old college try

but sometimes muses are