(this is samsclub, BINCH) do this snippet "Johann fell silent. âHey, Avi? I thought of something else I want to do when all this is over,â he said.âWhatâs that?âJohann paused, seemed to gather himself, then said, in the softest voice Aviâd ever heard him use, âMarry you?â" because i need to know why'd you would hurt me like this, personally
(Selection from Wonât Go Quietly)
(cracks open a la croix) oh boy, letâs GO
So, the fuckinâ truth about this moment was that it totally caught me - ME - off guard. I went into that bit not planning at all that it was going to be a marriage proposal. I was just typing, and then that happened, and I was like âoh⌠shit. oh my god I just did that.â Why did I do it? WHO KNOWS. But as soon as it happened, I was delighted, and I knew that was what that chapter would be⌠about? The chapter started as so nebulous. I knew it had to happen in some way, but it had no center, and with that line, suddenly it did.
At that point, Johannâs sort of⌠hm. Heâs not really an impulsive person, as I see him, and heâs just done this very, very impulsive thing. I think Johannâs deeply insecure - see the directly preceding lines where heâs warning Avi about what living with himâs going to look like - and heâs suddenly had this sense of, âthis is what I want. this person, in this way.â Like, not to get too mushy, but itâs⌠a sacrifice, for Johann. Heâs giving away something of himself to Avi. Heâs trusting Avi with his quirks, and his heart, and most importantly to Johann, his future. Heâs making Avi part of his legacy in this moment, and thatâs huge to Johann.
Avi, on the other hand - his emotions in this moment arenât as complicated. Heâs surprised, of course, and very, very happy. Thatâs really about it. Itâs a contrast, in a way, to the complexity of his grief later, I think.
send me snippets from my fic and Iâll write you DVD commentary!
