𝑺𝑰𝑵𝑩𝑶𝑹𝑵𝑬.

It’s laughable, he’d think. But at the same time, he was only a young adult still, one that life simply had given so little at first and seen the worst of humanity first thing and later? handed everything on a plate when he had just given up, all in exchange of work, of a somewhat stable life if he could ignore his permanently wounded body, weak limbs and his non working eye that was much better hidden away with an eyepatch than forcing the eyelid shut by himself to be able and at least see.

But he couldn’t deny Seox’s presence in his life, while at first rather annoying, became something indispensable - the silent offers for help without looking down the very same man that kept him from death’s door, to look past his tough, cold shell of a heart that tells of many, many years not letting himself open to anyone - all patiently seen and loved equally for an undeserving man Nehan believes himself to be yet also cared little about it when he knew he was good at what he did and never left his own debts unpaid. Following side to side his partner… mate? yes, even now Nehan is trying to think a better label that boyfriends whereas his mind raced with everything he had one during the day, only for something so meager and domestic be the source of the frown he wears now, a frown Seox has learned is not aimed at him or at their situation together at all and instead minds his own life, while being the ever so selfless man he’s always been.

His train of though taken away once more as the car’s door opens and the delightful treat sits where he should, it ears a gruff exhale, the telltale small smile and softening of his features that equates to a ‘thanks.’ As the air of the streets that are much richer ( namely, the very faint scent of gasoline, a bit of smoke and humidity an evening cane in hand with. ) than the sterility of the ward and waiting rooms of the hospital - he undoes the clasps at his arms to place his cane at the back seats without much of a mind to it beyond doing it quick and not risk his leg giving up too soon on him, his weaker hand braces against the roof of the car as support while he sees the cane touch the floor of the car’s backseat, and with that done he, then, focuses on the treats, the drink that had a safe cap that at least was a much better thing than accidentally being drenched in a sweet hazelnut latte sticky all over, good thinking.

“ thank you, Xing. “ that’s another thing that has started to happen not so long ago, entirely from his heart without forcing himself at all - giving regards to all these little things, acknowledgement that perhaps in the past others would’ve called out as rude and unbecoming. Yet Seox did not care and kept going in his pursuit for the only man that did not have, initially, any interest in any kind of interaction. ( And especially in a workplace situation and yet… it also, looking back, made those days quite entertaining beyond seeing mild cases of flu, awful accidents and people being stupid.) he's a bit strained in his voice of course where it shows he's beyond exhausted and yet still able to function a bit more and perhaps way too many coffee cups he already consumed prior the other's arrival.

Making himself comfortable at the driver's seat takes a bit more than it'd take a normal person, between holding the cup with his good hand and using the weaker one to push himself to sit and then guide his weak leg... it always made Nehan fill a bit more the cup in his mind where he'd place cold anger at himself, one he later sets aside and deals with it when his emotions get the best of him, tonight however? he's too tired for it.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍it will still likely occur, Seox well knows, but that ghost of a smile he catches as he makes his way around the hood tells him that he's at least shaved seconds off of its coming.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍for now, that's good enough. a battle won.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍but... there are other battles. ones Nehan has to face on his own. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍getting into the car, unfortunately, is one of them. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍some days are better than others. no matter what, though, it's always a process.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍Seox is just about to offer to hold the drink for him, just to make it a little bit easier — even leans over the center console in preparation to do so — however... he decides to stay his tongue, opting to just jump in if needed.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ he's learned better not to fuss too much. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍Nehan never appreciated it, and always met his over-concern with irritated glares that spoke ` enough, i can do this on my own ` better than even his mouth could, which is impressive for a man whose gruff attitude already would make such words pack a bite. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍ultimately, Nehan does achieve it on his own, too, so Seox leans back in front of the wheel as a silent relief washes over him. silent, because he knows better than to let that show in this context, too. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ `` I didn't know how much you ate, or even if you have at all, ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍so I opted with just something small to tide you over for ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍the ride. ``

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍the keys are fished out of his pocket, and the engine roars back to life once given a turn into the ignition.

‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ `` I planned on ordering something larger when we got ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍home, though. I haven't eaten yet. ``

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍it's best he doesn't say the at all part, granted that would also add to the stack of irritations his partner already had mounting up. instead, he chooses to punctuate his statement by reaching over and giving Nehan's knee a small squeeze; ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍subtle affection, because while Seox wanted to hold his hand during the drive, he knows he would be looked at as utterly irresponsible for not having both hands on the wheel in doing so.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍he could wait. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍he's probably not in the mood at the moment to be overly doted on right now, anyways.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍with that, they pull out of the parking lot, and are homeward bound.

“ You wont. “ it’s a statement. It’s the purest’s truth out everything because that is it. Seox might feel close to death even frim this but he never would go down that easily wouldn’t he? (but it’d be an understatement to deny he loves seeing the other unravel like this when he was the culprit of doing even more than these acts of affection to Nehan back. The reactions from the wolf miles different but both converging in one simple answer - reciprocation.) “ You may stiff all your body can… “ his hand on the other’s chest trace gentle kneads against the taut muscle, to then trace with his palm the other’s side… ending in a sweet caress against skin he finds there, praising him, all while his kisses against the other lower once more, all while the gentlest purred hum… “ , but you love this, you could easily push me aside and yet no matter how much struggling comes, you wouldn’t. “ a final whisper right against Seox’s trembling, open lips, letting the meager distance there linger as his ears face forth just to keep listening the other’s symphonies and meager sounds that did not match at all someone who would hide himself in the shadows.

But? it made Seox… Xing, the one he has allowed in his heart even when he resisted it with tooth and nail all the more human, all the more of a tangible proof against his ever present hesitances.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍the kiss to the beauty mark beneath his eye, namely, makes his heart drop. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍not in dread. more like... as if it had melted, and its liquified form dripped down to the pit of his stomach.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍it's true. he did love that. he loved when he touched him, too — in any way at all, but especially like this. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍these kisses, these caresses... Seox knows that he's given the same to Nehan before, but when the notion is returned, it somehow feels like his heart will burst from it.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍its rapid beat could indeed not slow because of it, even if he feels like his voice grounds him somewhat. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍... maybe. actually, not really. his voice is soothing, the purr when he speaks this low music to his sensitive ears, but the words he says and how he says them — ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍no, where he says them proves to make him lose his bearings all over again. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍he's speechless, nothing but a heap of trembling limbs and a quaking jaw, his hands not even knowing where to put themselves so they just settle at his hips where they've found a home innumerous times before.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍he's hopeless. he's hopeless. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍he's sure he looks like he must have from the very beginning when this all started; pathetic and lovestricken to the point where his mind blanks and definitely makes him look stupid.

‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ `` ... You love this, too. Making a mess of me. ``

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍to the point where i forget who and what i am.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍like always, there is no fight against this demand. he'd never. he wants it, too — constantly, always.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍that being said, there isn't much distance at all to close. it's nothing but a small angle of his head and the slightest inch forward, and there, their lips touch, nullifying any possibility for further words on the matter.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍the press is firm, and just like Nehan had abandoned all reservations when it came to this instance of spoiling him, Seox abandons the thought of making it brief.

…

Well, he did kind of enjoy, a lot, Seox’s reactions in general; it has been many changing of seasons by now, and yet when Nehan did anything that could be considered sweet or engage first before the other in the simple things such as touch, or tease one another, Seox still became red as a beet - his pulse be dangerously close to something like a cardiac arrest, his mouth absolutely failing him, it was intriguing.

“ Perhaps. “ He isn’t denying nor saying outwardly that yes, maybe he’s in to kill him - figuratively of course. as he picks his head up a little bit so his chin now rest at the flutter of the other’s chest, seeking to watch the reward of his actions, and oh how he earns a content sound for Seox when feeling that trembling hand carding through his long silver locks - almost like in a feline manner leaning into it, his hand on the other end of the wolf’s chest tracing gentle circles there. “ You never really change… when it’s about this. “ ‘ I like it’ goes unsaid and yet it’d be absolutely a fool’s errant to not notice the way his eye softens when he admits this, a telling thing on what his words wont - as he moves higher while using his other hand to prop himself a little bit, and with this… his lips lightly press against the other’s jaw. A flutter of silent little kisses tracing that quivering thing, seeing if it’d either calm down the other’a racing pulse or add more coal to the fire that already has the other combusting over.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍this is it. one way or another this evening, he will die and be killed and be dead and die and be dead. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍this is it for him. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍it's over. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍he's going to die.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍the feelings are so intense that not only does he feel like he's going to vomit out his own heart because it is jumping beyond any reasonable means to control it, but his whole body stiffens, too. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍his ears have flattened to the point of disappearing into his hair. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍his hand has stopped in its personal mission of spoiling him back. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍there's even this weird choking sound coming from the back of his throat. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍he's dying dying dying dying dying dying dying.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍and he's even more dead when he begins pressing his lips along the path of his jaw, over and over, with seemingly no pattern or goal in mind other than just doing the action itself.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍he's going to pass out. Bahamut above, he'll pass out right now and... ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍... and he doesn't know what after that. but he knows he'll pass out. that much is for certain.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍the choking sound morphs into something like a whine with how much lighter his head gets, his voice reaching an octave that he's last heard it only when Phos decides it's an opportune time to use his ear as a teething toy.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍it's a pathetic sound.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍he doesn't actually want Nehan to stop, though. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍he'd be fine if he died and was dead and was killed and died and was dead this way.

‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ `` Y... You're... You're killing me... ``

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍he wants to throw an arm over his face so badly, but if he did, he'd knock Nehan away, and he positively does not want him anywhere but right where he is right now.

Probably not... nonetheless Yichen is resolute in one thing, and he instantly, as soon as those words come from the other's sniffling voice how own joins with the softest '' never. I'd never leave... this escape of us is our adventure. '' he promises, and shall repeat himself over and over should the other young wolf need this repeated again and again, Yichen had no problem with this nor the heartache to hide his white lie that had nothing to do with the other's fears right now.

Makes him.... also a little soft inside, a feeling he doesn't really can quite put a word in, but it's both warm as it also makes him painfully aware of his heart at his chest - ah.... Xing always bringing the unknown even to himself. Yichen can only chuckle lowly as once more, when settled down and absolutely crushed in the other's embrace Yichen's come to know and always enjoy despise he definitely feels as if a bit of his spine pops a little bit (which felt quite nice if anyone ever asked him).

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍he's sure that's what Yichen would have said — they were best friends, after all. but hearing it... ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍all the fears and pains in his little sleepy heart fade. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍maybe it was selfish of him... much of all of this was. but he truly didn't want Yichen to ever abandon him. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍not like the rest did, when he was so sure he'd done everything right.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍Yichen wasn't like them. he could confidently say that he saw him for the boy he was; not a prodigy, not a monster, but just Xing. this brought great ease to Xing, time and time again, and... ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍he couldn't bear the thought of losing that. it was too much.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍but Yichen won't make him, and he's grateful for it. like this, he can be at ease, and all can be well again. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍he can fall back to sleep snuggled close to his best friend as always, and there would be no worry that Yichen would ever just up and go away.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍he can't help a few extra sniffles, despite the tears never having come; ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍as if the rest of him cried where his eyes didn't.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍he settles shortly thereafter, though, albeit without relinquishing his grip.

‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ `` Uh-huh... I always will, Yichen... I promise, I will... ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍No one gets left behind... I promise... ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍Never, ever... ``

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍... with that, it doesn't take long for sleep to pull him back into its realm of dreams, the young pup now much to comfortable once the relief had washed over him to fight it anymore. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍

‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍⸻ ✧‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍⁺₊‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍☾‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍⁺₊‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍✧ ⸻ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍the next time he wakes, it's well into noon — ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍perhaps even after, granted Xing had not detected any sort of sound that would be cause for immediate alarm in his sleep. the brush remains peaceful, the stream just beside their small campsite ever flowing, no monster or person coming to disturb the peaceful campsite they've set.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍still, in an almost ritualistic way, Xing's ears swivel around as consciousness rouses him back to the waking world, double checking their surroundings for any unusual activity nearby with his excellently acute hearing. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍there remains nothing, however. and that tells him that it's safe to let out the big yawn he was holding in.

‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ `` Mmmfh... Too sleepy... ``

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍and... streeeetcchhh...

oh no…!

and Yichen makes haste to make his way inside again, ever so quiet - his ears pinned down from fear he had been caught redhanded and then would need to explain himself for betraying his friend like this. By the moments he takes to push the entrance open and then close it behind him… however, he is greeted with the most cute sight of the other young wolf simply… searching for him with his ears.

Eyes shut, still too tired to even pry one open and see the truth, no. It was something else entirely and Yichen swears he felt what once was a dawning horror that almost physically hurt him of body and soul, to be entirely replaced with an affection he truly doesn’t know how to even begin describe. He kneels close to the bedside of their nest, small slender hands a bit dirty from soil meeting those of Xing’s while he leans in, and presses foreheads. “ sorry… sorry xing… needed to go do my business, didn’t want to wake you up… “ his own voice is hushed, a whisper for the other groggy wolf to hear, lacing his lie so naturally in a way that at least makes sense as a reason to having left so abruptly - and once he glazes his white lie with something inconsequentially when the young wolf scoots back to where he had been, pushing with his hand that leaves Xing’s the pillow that had been his bad replacement.

…

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍being with that...

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍it had to be Yichen.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍and very shortly, he's relieved to find that to be the truth.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍if it was not the touching of hands that put his heart to ease, it was the press of foreheads — ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍much like they did before slumber. an all-too-familiar source of comfort.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍his eyes still can't open, but maybe they don't need to. this was definitely Yichen. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍there were no doubts in his mind about it. this was his best friend, and he was back, and he was okay.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍with that reassurance back in mind, he eases himself back down to lay, and as soon as the other pup is right beside him again, he is quick to pull him into the tightest hug he can manage. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍maybe it's silly to have been so worried, but...

‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ `` You scared me... ``

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍it wasn't a sense of betrayal he mumbles with, but he did sound something like... a sad puppy. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍this time, when they touch foreheads again, Xing isn't reserved about his nuzzling back and forth against him.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍not like he ever was, but still. now, he seems a bit more insistent.

‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ `` Yichen... Please, don't go away... ``

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍this... he, maybe, doesn't even realize he's saying. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍maybe he'll probably even forget it later. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍but it comes... from somewhere different. not only from a place of simply worrying for a friend, but... ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍also...

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍perhaps...

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍a very different fear.

‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ `` I'd miss you... A lot... I'd be sad, without you here... ``

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍a sniffle. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍he's not quite crying — no, much too tired to still, thankfully — but his nose threatens to run as if he was close to it.

──── ⌢ ✦ ⌢ ────

But the night feels too short - even with the great effort that is to push himself awake even when his mind protested and his body cried against it, he is still able to open his eyes slightly. Groggily.

His breath lightly shakes a bit with what is a failed yawn suppressed in his new silent, personal quest he had in mind ever since yesterday evening, and the young wolf flicks an ear, moving it consciously to listen to Xing. See of he was awake.

…

….

Good. He detects the other being still deep asleep.

Which comes the second hardest part, as his body slowly, carefully, and with the greatest effort he’s ever tried to achieve being snake his way out from the cuddle pile that is between him and Xing, their tangle of limbs where they always embrace one another to sleep, while replacing it with part of the cushion they use, all so the other doesn’t stir.

It takes perhaps forever, in the young pup’s mind. And oh how his anxiety he manages to calm down with silent breaths their teachings at karm had been amazing to keep both of them hidden from unwanted attention comes in handy to remain completely silent while finally, finally he is able to guide Xing’s arm, once around his shoulder cuddling his frame, to lay snugly on the cushion.

Now the true mission begins. And Yichen is quick in action, find all the dead fireflies inside the tent, carefully scoop them between his hands… all to keep Xing’s magic untouched, all so the other doesn’t have to know, for now, how little these friends they had last night actually lived.

Diligent in his quest Yichen makes haste, there aren’t many of them thankfully and he spots them even with the meager morning sunlight without trouble until one last one picks his interest. His ears drooping a little bit, as he sees one of the fireflies that passed away at lump of blankets where he can absolutely guess that's where Xing’s legs curl. He leans to pick that one too while on his knees careful to never disturb his friend’s sleep until he can finally put all of the corpses at a pouch made by using the end of his long shirt while holding part of it. He exits the tent like this, deadly quiet. He's resolute in this white lie for Xing, if it means to protect his heart – even for the strongest between the two, yichen knew better than anyone Xing felt the most and he wanted to make sure the memory to be a happy one, even if waking up so early might leave him a bit sleepy thorough the day later.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍this is a welcome sort of different. more than welcome, truly. more than welcome, even. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍and he'll do anything to keep — ... it...?

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍an ear flicks subconsciously.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍that's... strange. he had only shifted just a little bit just now, just to be a little more comfortable, but... ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍this thing under his arm feels... much softer than Yichen's body. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍it wasn't that the other boy was bony — not so much anymore, anyway — ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍but he was thin, and this was not. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍it was plush, and a bit dense when given a squeeze.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍it smelled like Yichen, but it definitely wasn't.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍he squints his eyes, willing himself awake even if they don't open just yet.

‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ `` Yichen... ``

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍another squeeze is given to the plush thing in his arms just to confirm, and therein lies the answer. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍no. this is not his friend.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍had nature's calling just gotten him up and he didn't want to disturb him...? was it something else? ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍he wouldn't panic just yet, but it does make him starkly aware of a new fact; ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍he did not like waking up without Yichen next to him.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍when given no response, he pushes himself up onto one of his elbows. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍his eyes still won't open, and his croaky voice tells every story about just how sleepy he still is, but locating the other young wolf took highest priority.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍his ears swivel every which way, honing in on every sound and putting all the focus his groggy brain can give to just hearing.

“ I know, that's why this is better. “ Yichen’s voice carries vestiges of his amusement, as ears are slightly pinned back still from swallowed laughter still, all while preparing the last things, smoothing out the blankets… mostly he might use, but has come to learn not to feel guilty about using them all - to lastly sit by the other’s side.

His blue eyes land on where the other little wolf groggily still fights a bit of his sleep, while Yichen was more or less still awake enough, but his own exhaustion catches up - large looking soft ears downy just like his pleased expression he gives the other’s sleepy grumpiness over the oh so evil betrayal of a slightly pinched ear. “ C’me here Xing, you did amazing today… “ more than amazing Yichen would add, but his mind was already too sleepy, too, to form better praises over the other’s achievements.

… he really feels like, sometimes, undeserving of all of this. The fireflies, their wishes they will carry during their short lives, Xing’s happiness…

But they’re in this together, this he is all resolute for, it strengthens his heart. Together they will keep going, find the docks, sneak out the island and see where the winds take them.

Small hand push blankets that do not match in colors at all a bit over the other, and himself; mostly himself. Laying on his aide to face Xing as foreheads touch much like most nights, his eyes not quite closing yet. “ Rest well, xing. “ my dearest friend… He wishes to add - and yet he keeps that to his little heart that feels so much more he can put a name on, lost as he is just watching his best friend fall, for once, first to sleep being something the other small wolf didn’t experience much but treasured every single time it happens.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍— well... maybe not so mean, actually. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍much less mean when he settles down beside him, praising him for all the hard work he put into their combined efforts during the day. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍okay... maybe the betrayal can be forgiven.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍but, even so sleepy, he refuses to take all the credit. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍Yichen put work in, too.

‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ `` Mmnno... ``

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍it takes all of his effort, every bit of strength his small body has, to reach his arm around the other pup and hug him tight — he couldn't have a good sleep without it, though. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍and maybe, just maybe, Yichen couldn't either. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍at least... that's what he'd selfishly like to think.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍what doesn't take any effort, though, is the incessant nuzzling of forehead against forehead, and the groan that follows in the futile effort he finds in the act of snuggling even closer.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍that's what's really mean.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍whoever decided that being too close was a thing should be prosecuted or something.

‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ `` You... Too... Yichen... ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍We did... Really....

‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍Hmmnfh... ``

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍alas.... all things cease. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍thoughts, nuzzles, even the stiffness of his muscles as he tries to hug Yichen closer... all over, in one small instance of mumbling off into sweet nothingness.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍surely he will remember what he meant to say tomorrow... or perhaps he will say it again tomorrow. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍that's a highly probable thing. he always does. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍for now, it fades into the lovely void of slumber until daylight pries his eyes open once again.

'' Xing... psst, come here, you're going to get cold. '' He hushes the other once more, scooting to the entrance of the tent to tug lightly at the other's sleeve of his clothes, and then... in a rebellious act –

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍but... he's so tired that... his body... it won't even move...

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍... or, at least, it didn't. for a good bit.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍what ends that is the little pinch at his ear.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍eyes that he hadn't even noticed had fallen shut squeeze as a sense of bitter betrayal courses through his whole being, and what comes is a whine that may as well have been summoned from the very pits of his soul.

‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ `` Yiicheeennnnn... ``

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍he's been defeated at every part of today, and now, even his best friend will deal a blow on him, too? ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍et tu, Yichen? et tu?

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍at first, it seems like the way Xing leans to his side in the direction of that hand makes it look like he's instead about to play dead and begin some dramatic theatrics, but... ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍no. maybe some other time, when he's not so tired.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍it's just him rolling onto all fours to groggily drag himself into the tent, using his hands to feel out where and how to go... since his eyes just can't reopen again. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍he finally feels like he's found some success when he feels the softness of their blankets, and this time is when he puts on the dramatics in his act of rolling into the nest of them.

‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ `` Not... Fair... ``

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍... oh, boy. those barely even sounded like words. that was more like mumbled nonsense. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍there's no helping it either when he shoves his face into their cushion, too.

‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ `` 'm... Tiiiired... ``

and at some point, his eye had fallen shut as foreheads still ouch a bit and the wolf uses this to nuzzle into it a bit more, get comfortable between the other's thighs so his own frame wouldn't ache from prolonged sedentarism knowing that from here on, getting anything done might need to be a bargain between the world's most stubborn man in the skies.

'' you made it perfectly clear last night.... but maybe I happen to miss a few things, a few memories. '' Nehan lies, it was a bad lie too that even the Stardust doctor cannot really convince himself to act in any way when it was a common knowledge his memory was one of the best, for better or worse – but he plays it cool, he feigns ignorance as his hand cards through wild locks of silver, traces unknown shapes at warm scalp, and then his thumb and index find the base of Seox's folded ear... where he presses a light little roll of his thumb. '' and yet you seem not satisfied with all you did, are you? '' because it was another thing Nehan has learned with time.

Seox loves, and deeply, it was a constant much like a long, silent river. Unstoppable in it's cource and endlessly vast, his feelings were deep, constant - and it made Nehan always.... curious. Where does it begin? where does it end? why does he admire and love someone like him this bad? even after all the change of seasons spent in this bond as mates, Nehan still finds days where he needs the obvious answers, spoken or acted out - convince again his heart the reality that wounds in his soul refuse to believe.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍his pounding heart, which he is also sure that Nehan can feel thundering against his body thanks to the proximity they share, shouts it from the highest peaks. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍his hold, gentle while also firm, tells of how he never intends to let go. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍not in any sense. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍the way his breath quietly stutters when the cartilage of his ear is spoiled in such a way, and subsequently how he leans into that next, shows how grateful he is; ` i love that, thank you. `

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍this hopeless romanticism eats him alive, and he oh so willingly lets it, desiring even to drown in it should such an option be available. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍in that same vein, however much Seox could have wished for his eyes to open again once similarly shut, the bliss and comfort of the moment does not allow it of him. the world narrows to these four walls and Nehan's touch, his voice, his everything.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍it's in this moment that Seox almost cannot believe how lovesick he is. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍it's something he would have never thought of himself years prior, or even at all, had this person not changed him in many irreversible ways.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍where he may have once felt embarrassment from that fact, he instead embraces it. the arm around the other wolf's waist pulls back slightly in order to smooth his hand up along the curve of his spine, and then back down again. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍this pattern repeats once, twice... a third, before his arm returns to its original placement and gently pulls him even closer, should any space even still exist between their bodies at that point.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍thank you.

    Why, who knew even Mr. Boring had his endearing moments? Granted, he still wouldn't be her first pick for a boyfriend, but at the very least, Vivian didn't hate making him sweets; either way, she'll soon find herself sauntering her way over towards the kitchen sink before managing a laugh.

    "True! I heard the next island Rackamoo would be stopping at is highly renowned for it's matcha," she states while setting down the plate. Mere moments later, Vivian then turns on the tap, allowing water to freely cascade over the porcelain surface. Of course, by 'Rackamoo', she was referring to Rackam, their helmsman. "Maybe we could find a bakery? Either way, I'm sure things like matcha biscuits and matcha ice cream wouldn't be too hard to get!" Vivian chirps.

    Shortly thereafter, she then turns off the tap and reaches one hand for the sponge. Since she had already squirted a generous amount of dish detergent over it earlier when washing the bowls, Vivian wastes no times picking up the plate and scrubbing away with a happy hum eliciting past her throat.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍Seox's face scrunches at the thought, more stunned by such an idea than anything. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍do people just do that? pick benign things and make that their whole personality? ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍surely that can't be all it's renowned for. there must be other things.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍maybe he's just taken this far out of the scope of what it actually is. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍it has happened before. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍but, no... ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍wouldn't this also sound strange to anyone else? no?

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍maybe, for someone whose lineage traveled back to a clan of renowned assassins, his viewpoint on what one should and shouldn't be held highly for is a bit... skewed.

with that acknowledgement dawning upon him, his facial features relax again.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍... no, nevermind. ` regardless of the weather ` brings him back to a state. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍there's no regardless of the weather. he isn't really a fan of the idea of getting rained on. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍this jacket doesn't have a hood like his Eternals cloak did, and he barely likes anything touching his ears to begin with — let alone the idea of getting back onto the ship looking like a wet dog. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ `` ... No, if it's raining, we can wait on it for a day... ``

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍that's a big problem in his mind, okay. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍Darydara laughing at him, or anyone else for that matter, is not a situation he wants to subject himself to. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍learning how to exist without his mask has been hard enough.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍before he begin imagining the utmost epitome of his dignity's demise any further, thankfully, he's pulled out of that train of thought by an earnest question. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍now he truly becomes neutral again, an ear giving a flick — almost as if to signal his complete one-eighty. ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍

‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ `` I thought that was already established. ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍If it was just myself, I wouldn't have any idea where ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍to start. This isn't exactly my field, you know. ``

Such a simple man for all the power he holds, humble and loyal, and his words later…? it makes Nehan’s ear fall the littlest in the myriad of emotions the other always, and never fails to bring from him.

Denial, acceptance, bitterness, sweetness, a sense of undeserving this in hand to wanting badly to reach out to that hand over and over, where he had that silent coy smile it falls into something contemplative, and his gaze falls a bit, along the caress at the other’s jaw until only a few of his digist glide there faintly. “ and yet for all the times I pushed you away you kept being like a pesky fly, selfish… even when you though yourself slick and send Tien to check on me. “

Like this, he shifts to be sitting having his side on Seox’s lap, crossing a leg on top of one of seox’s so he can partially face the other and have a better angle at the other’s everything, his hand now more resolute to reach again, and slide a little bit more up, until skin is replaced with soft silky silver hair, and fingers glide there to comb through it. “ But my feelings are quite similar, time passed and the more you kept showing… “

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍his breath shudders from his lungs as his fingertips continue their spoiling path along the line of his strong jaw, and he truly feels like he'll die like this. he knows just what ways to kill him, and yet, those same ways bring him back to life, too.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍it's just as cruel as it is sweet, and his poor indecisive soul can't figure out if it wants to stay inside his body or if it wants to leave it to ascend.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍ultimately, though, it stays — because if it left, there would be no way for him to enjoy the gentleness in Nehan's eye in full when he shifts so that Seox may see it, and there would similarly be no way that he can bask in the bliss that is the feeling of his fingers sifting through his hair.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍his heart is pounding, though. thundering, even. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍if it's not his soul that will leave, maybe it's his heart that will fly out of his chest instead. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍he doesn't know, but he does know that this tenderness is making it a struggle to even breathe.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍you'll kill me. you are going to kill me. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍i am going to die here, ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍and i will be glad that this is how you killed me.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍beyond Seox's own notice, his ears have folded back, eyes slid shut and his lips having curved at their corners. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍what he is at least keenly aware of is how one of his arms pulls him closer by his waist, and how his other has slid forward to take Nehan's free hand.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍this is hardly even fair.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍his head pushes forward just a bit against his, all just to show how truly insatiable he is for this treatment. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍that isn't enough, though. it will never even be close to enough. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍his head tilts, and he can not resist stealing a brief, but deep kiss from him.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍even that will never be enough, but it's enough to satisfy him in the moment.

And oh how even now, with Seox becoming that weighted blanket on his back felt like the bliss of when those same hands weakly gripped at his hips or lips pressed bruises that now Seox kisses in tenderness, this earns the smallest sigh - as he turns just enough to be able and see Seox’s face, study the subtlest hint of anything until ultimately noticing it’s simply his lovesickness. “ Right “ Shameless, but Nehan didn’t have any right to call him that when he himself was just a culprit to this as the other is; but one thing is for sure, even when his mood hung a bit low now, he could spare a bit of kindness, patience… and perhaps, for better or worse, truly Seox’s habits have begun to melt into Nehan’s. “ Xing. Tell me… “

A pause in his voice, as a hand reaches back so he can cup the other’s jaw, lips so close to the other’s as he steals the other’s attention away from those kisses at his nape that had made his skin slightly goosebump, which the Stardust Doctor easily can shake off in turn to give back his own way. “ You care so much… Why? Perhaps I sound like a broken record with this question but; entertain it just once more. “ and yet it absolutely wouldn't be the last time Nehan asks, much like whenever Seox begs the other to say 'I love you' again and again, when logic said it being irrelevant when their bouts and promises had been made.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍his ears take every syllable as if they were purred to him, and it makes his heart stutter in his chest.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍it's made even worse when Nehan glides his palm underneath his jaw like that. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍that touch alone was enough to bring Seox to his knees, so how much lower could he possibly go now, with him already being there? ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍evidently, enough to stop him dead in his tracks and make his lashes flutter in time with the way his heart momentarily feels like it stops.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍he could die here and be perfectly content with it. ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍... what were they talking about again.

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍— a-ah, right, the... the question... ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍the question... was... um... ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍the... the question...

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍he didn't miss it, no! ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍he just... got lost... for a second... ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍the question was... uh...

‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ `` ... I couldn't ever look away from you. ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍Not only would you not let me, but... ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍That's only half of the truth. ``

‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍see? he was listening!

‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ `` You and I... We were always similar in ways, even when ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍you didn't want to believe me. ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍You cared. I knew you did. Even if not for me, you still ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍had things you were living for that didn't have anything ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍to do with me.

‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍I could have looked away when our business ended, but... ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍I wanted to see you follow what your heart really called for... ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍And when you awoke, that was when, at some point... ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍I wished that your heart would call for me, too.

‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍I suppose that really began when I saw just what the love ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍you had really looked like. ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍You were... Softer, than what you showed me. ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍Selfishly, I wished that you would direct that softness ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍ ‍‍‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍‍ ‍‍‍towards me as my own began to blossom towards you.