VoicesFromNowhere

As he’d helped her up and over to the sagging couch, she felt the tears come but could do nothing to stop them. Despite everything, Chrissy had opened up to Eddie that night, confessing to him what she saw in her episode, and even why she was having them in the first place. She was right to place her trust in him. He took everything she’d said in stride and from that day on, had become one of her closest friends.

Eddie always let her talk things through with him and vent when she needed to. Chrissy never realized that having a real friend helped lighten her load immensely. It kept her from going to even darker places and kept her awful binging habits at bay. He supported her standing up for herself and always offered her a place to stay if her mother became too much to handle. It gave Chrissy the push she needed to have more of a backbone with her mother, even if the parental figure was terrifyingly angered by this turn of events.

Jason was a whole different matter. After her last episode, Chrissy realized just how close to reality that awful dream was. It was jarring to be with Jason after that. She’d tried to go on like everything was fine, but for the month after that, she noticed every condescending remark and it grated on her nerves like nails on a chalkboard.

“Dammit!”

Eddie’s sudden outburst startled Chrissy out of her reminiscing and she let out a sharp gasp.

“Sorry,” he immediately replied, placing his hand just above hers, but not quite touching. Chrissy could feel the warmth radiating from him for a split second before he balled his hand into a fist, pulling it back just as quickly as he’d put it there.

“It’s okay,” Chrissy sighed. “I was pretty checked out to be honest with you.” She looked up timidly from her lap, through her eyelashes as she gaged Eddie’s reaction.

“God Cunningham. Thought you were supposed to be helping me, not become a total space case.” As always, Eddie shot back a playful and understanding reply her way. Chrissy had noticed over the last two months just how sweet he really was underneath the loud, brash exterior he projected.

“Space Cadet Cunningham, reporting for duty,” she said with a wry smile. “Now that I’m back on planet Earth, what seems to be the problem?”

Eddie squinted at her for a moment, mouth puckering, trying not to smile back at her quip. He hid his smile behind a sigh as he admitted the problem at hand.

“I’ve done this same algebra question three times, gotten a different answer each one of those times, and none of them have been the right answer when I check.” He spun his notebook around to show her all the work he’d done over the last ten minutes, scratching his head in frustration, while she’d been lost in her thoughts.

After looking at each attempt at a solution, Chrissy finally found the steps he was missing. She took her pencil from behind her ear and scooted closer to Eddie, letting their knees just barely touch. It sent her stomach on a small roller coaster ride that she decided to ignore.

“Okay look at each problem. It’s cause you keep getting your negatives and positives mixed up. Let’s do a rundown on how they work again, then you can try the problem one more time.” Chrissy smiled up at him, feeling proud at how far he’d come the last couple months.

Eddie had been right. This was going to be his year. Once they’d started hanging out, Chrissy had noticed a new found spark in Eddie. After a week or two, he’d asked her to tutor him so he would stand a chance at graduating. When he’d asked her, she’d noticed that what little she saw of his ears were tinged with red. It had been pretty cute to Chrissy, but she had never admitted it out loud.

Once she was done explaining, Chrissy decided to actually watch him work through the problem. Eddie made sure to go slowly and sure enough, when he checked the answer this time around, he was ecstatic to have gotten it right. He grabbed Chrissy’s shoulders and let out a huge laugh.

“Ha! You were right! Your a genius Cunningham!” They both laughed together for a moment before all Chrissy could think about was how warm his hands felt through her cotton shirt. Their smiles lingered and slowly faded as she watched him through her eyelashes again. Her mouth went dry as she wondered what would happen if he pulled her in closer. As if he could sense her thoughts, Eddie pulled his hands back quickly, like she was the one burning him instead.

Eddie cleared his throat and looked away. “I’m gonna grab some more water. Want some?”

“Sure thing,” she said, her smile falling just a bit. “Summer weather is no joke this year.”

It had been like this with Eddie for the last month after Chrissy had finally broken up with Jason. It had taken her a few weeks to process that Jason wasn’t what she wanted anymore after her episode. It was scary to take the leap and cut him out of her life, much to her mother’s silent anger and dismay. That was terrifying enough. But what was even scarier was the fact that she’d broken up with Jason because of Eddie. He had no idea, but his kindness had shown her that what she’s had, wasn’t what she deserved at all.

Ever since then, her and Eddie had this weird, unspoken back and forth between them. It felt so fragile, and yet so electric at the same time. The looks they gave each other had started to  become a bit longer sometimes. Then Eddie had begun to avoid invading her personal space at all cost, that was, when he could remember to anyway. There were always times, like just now, when one of them forgot to keep their balancing act in check. It felt like this dangerous game that Chrissy didn’t mind playing one bit. In fact, she’d found herself tucking all of those moments away in her mind for safe keeping, hoping they would become something more one day.

She looked up and saw Eddie’s lean back bending over the sink, filling up two glasses of ice for the two of them. Since his band shirt of the day was a lighter color, Chrissy could see faint outlines of a few tattoos underneath. With the warmer weather, he was wearing his leather and denim jacket less and less, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing in her mind. Chrissy’s face warmed at the thought of seeing those tattoos up close, of maybe even touching them, and what they could be. The roller coaster in her stomach dropped again.

“Hope it’s not too hot during graduation. Those caps and gowns will be the worst if it is.” Chrissy tried to laugh away her nervous thoughts with a weak attempt at changing the subject.

Bringing both glasses of water back, Eddie handed her a glass before carefully collapsing back down onto the couch beside her.

“Well thanks to you princess, I’ll finally get to know what those awful outfits feel like.” He smiled as he took a few long drinks of water and Chrissy couldn’t stop staring at his throat.

‘ Get it together Chrissy! ’ she chastised herself. For whatever reason, her normal attempts at ignoring the swooping in her stomach weren’t working and this was a recipe for disaster. She didn’t want to break their fragile peace. This was too important. He was too important.

Chrissy stood up from the couch suddenly, needing to put some space between the two of them. On her way over to the kitchen, she forgot to look at where their books were laying all over the floor. Her toe managed to snag on an algebra book, making her stumble just enough to cause the water in her glass to come sloshing out. A good bit landed on her, the sudden cold causing her to drop the rest of the glass on the floor in surprise.

“Shit,” she hissed out through clenched teeth. “I’m sorry Eddie. I’ll clean this up okay?” Chrissy knelt down quickly, moving any papers they’d thrown around the small living space out of harms way.

Seeing the glass drop, Eddie scrambled to get up and placed his own glass on a nearby side table. He quickly knelt next to her and started helping her move things.

“I can’t believe Chrissy Cunningham would use such language in someone else’s home,” Eddie teased warmly.

“Well, I’ve learned from the best,” she quickly replied with, giving him a quick glance. When she looked up, she had to do a small double take. One second ago, Eddie had been rifling through their things with her, teasing her like he always did, and the next second he had frozen. Chrissy noticed that in place of his usual snarky grin, his mouth was slightly gaping and his eyes were on her chest. His face was beginning to dust with pink as he processed what he was seeing.

Looking down, Chrissy instantly saw what had made him stop in his tracks. The water from her glass had turned her cotton shirt pretty much transparent, putting her simple white bra on display. She felt heat rise up to her cheeks, mirroring Eddie. If Chrissy had been in this situation two months ago, she would have instantly covered herself, begging Eddie not to look.

But now? Now, Chrissy found that she didn’t exactly mind if he was the one that saw something here or there. Part of their balancing act over the last month had included her wearing shorter skirts each time she came over in a subconscious attempt to accomplish a goal she knew she would never reach. So this was just one more layer to the game they were playing with each other.

“Are you going to stare all day or do I need to go find a new shirt for myself?” Chrissy asked in a breathier voice than she’d intended. She watched Eddie’s mouth snap shut and his eyes swept up to first her mouth and then her eyes. His face was definitely involuntarily turning from pink to red as he finally stood up. He offered her a hand, which she gladly took, feeling that delicious spark from his warm hand as they finally touched. When she was on her feet, she realized how close both of them were to each other, the body heat from Eddie almost too much for her to handle.

“Don’t move an inch, princess.”

The tone in Eddie’s voice was playful as always, but Chrissy saw something new in his eyes when she looked up into them. There was a heat in them that made the roller coaster in her stomach finally fly off the rails and crash into the ground. All she could do in response was nod.

Eddie took one painfully slow step back away from her and then dropped her hand gently, like a bomb would go off if he made any sudden movements. Chrissy immediately missed the warmth coming from him. She watched him finally dart back into his room, coming out only thirty seconds later. Chrissy didn’t dare budge from her spot, like she was under Eddie’s spell. He seemed to notice and chuckled to himself as he came back to stand in front of her. The fire in his gaze was still there, but instead of blazing, it seemed more controlled.

“Here. You can wear this and give it back to me later.” He held one of his hands up, making the Boy Scout symbol with his fingers. “It’s clean. Scouts Honor.” He gingerly held the shirt out towards Chrissy with the other hand. Even in the middle of whatever this was, Eddie Munson was still able to make her smile. Chrissy took the shirt from him, relishing the feeling of her fingers brushing against his.

“Why thank you, oh honorable one.” Before she could lose her nerve, she peeled her wet shirt off right in front of Eddie. Chrissy figured he’d already seen her bra, so why not see how far she could push the balancing act. She dropped the wet shirt to the ground, and started fumbling for the bottom hem of the Ozzy shirt he’d handed her.

She peeked up, wanting to gauge Eddie’s reaction. His hands were fists at his sides and his nostrils were flared. He said nothing, instead just watching her, the fire in his eyes definitely blazing again. He looked like a guitar string that had been pulled too tight and was about to snap. It made something inside Chrissy want to jump up and down. Instead, she slipped the shirt on, letting the smell of mint and smoke overtake her for a moment.

“You sure I can borrow this? I wouldn’t be able to return it right away.” She smiled a genuine smile, finally deciding to cut the tension on her end. “I know Ozzy is one of your faves.”

“Yeah, you can borrow it.” Eddie seemed to relax, even if it was only by a fraction. “It’s gonna get dark soon so I should get you home. Plus, I have band practice so…” Be shrugged. “Gotta get ready for another show stopper at the Hideout this week.” He grinned, both of them seeming to cool off.

“Okay fine. You win. You definitely earned some music time with how hard you studied today.” Chrissy smiled, trying to hide how much she loved having the smell of Eddie all over this shirt. “And now that all the sports are finally wrapped up, I can actually come see you for once.” Eddie’s face broke out into a huge grin when she mentioned that fact. He’d been dropping hints left and right for a while now that he wanted her to come see them.

“I can’t wait for you for to finally get to hear some real music Chrissy Cunningham.” Eddie grinned, holding the front door open for her as they grabbed their things and made it out to his van.