Calamity

“Naturally.” Ganondorf growled playfully, taking great enjoyment in flipping her switch. Before she had been livid with him, but now she was putty in his hands. “And you are the only one beautiful enough, capable enough, worthy enough to be the mother of my child.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake...” Ganondorf grumbled, wondering just how he had ended up in this situation in the first place. Deciding that words just weren’t working in his favor, he tossed caution to the wind, grabbing the irate Nabooru and pushing his lips onto hers.

“Frankly, Nabooru, I don’t really need a reason to have sex with you.”

“So you don’t want me to prove my affection for you by fucking you? Fine then. But it’s your loss.”

“Alright, if you insist... Well strip then.”

“Fucking hell... If I stabbed you, would that really make you feel better?”

“I honestly don’t even know what you’re talking about anymore. It’s just the inane ramblings of a madwoman. By Din, Nabooru, how blind have you become that you can’t even see your blessed massive tits swinging right in front of your face?””

“Once more, you are neither of those things and are merely twisting my words to fulfill any insecurities and delusions you have about yourself.”

“Yes, because I am a man! That’s just how this damned thing works! It gets an erection for bloody everything! What you are doing is equating an erection to arousal, which is not even remotely accurate!”

“I believe I just said to don’t read too much into it. Yet here you are, reading too much into it!”

“I’m a man. That’s just how it works. I could get an erection every time I stare at tree bark, for Din’s sake! There’s no rhyme or reason to it, so don’t look too much into it.”

“Alright, let me rephrase that then. You’re always mad at me unless you’re feeling needy. Then you become eager to please.”

“I haven’t made you fat, I’ve made you pregnant. There is a marked difference. Besides, when are you not mad at me?”

With a loud harrumph, Ganondorf turned on his side and faced away from her, deciding that two could play at her little game. As an added measure, he yanked some of the blanket off of her.

“Nabs... Nabooru...! Don’t be like that! Don’t turn your back on me!”

“You know damn well just how difficult it is to ignore me.”

“Someone’s feeling frisky this morning. Or is the baby making you realize just how appreciative you should be of me?”