VNDERSTATED

When I was a young boy, you and I would be the first ones up in the house on Saturdays, while Mom and my older sisters slept in. You would often take me in the truck to the town bakery to get fresh donuts on those mornings. We might have even had some donut holes on the drive back home. Then you would make coffee in the kitchen, and give me half a diner mug to dunk my donut in. You probably did all this in an effort to occupy me and keep a quiet house to let your wife and daughters sleep, but then again, why did you let me have caffeine? You may have also done it because you enjoyed little one-on-one moments with your kids and, later, your grandchildren. But let’s be real, you also really loved donuts. I love donuts too. I don’t have nearly as big of a sweet tooth as you did, but to this day, nothing hits quite like a glazed, yeast-raised donut. It’s a simple pleasure. Though I traded in your light-and-sweet coffee for Mom’s black to pair it with long ago. This morning, for your birthday, Isla and I shared a donut breakfast, just as we did last fall on the one-year anniversary of your death and on Dia de los Muertos. They weren’t nearly as good as the ones we would get at the town bakery back then or at the German donut shop in Louisville in more recent years—just thinking of you eating those apple fritters makes my teeth hurt! Anyway, the donuts weren’t nearly as good, but hopefully, with time, the memories Isla and I make will be as sweet as the ones you and I shared. Thinking of you today and every day, Dad. I love you. (at Old Oakland) https://www.instagram.com/p/ChXohxOpac7/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

at Memphis, Tennessee https://www.instagram.com/p/CbiOLTIFHF_/?utm_medium=tumblr

🪴 Welcome to the party. #Strelitzia (at Old Oakland) https://www.instagram.com/p/CVlYAAfh8z5/?utm_medium=tumblr

💙 We miss you, today and every day, Dad. #Deathiversary #Grief https://www.instagram.com/p/CVPAbZIrYjs/?utm_medium=tumblr

I’m trying to be present this Father’s Day, though I’m not really good at it any day, if I’m honest. Present in my grief and present in the joy of fatherhood. I’ve always found it difficult to just be in the moment. My mind is usually dwelling on some past moment that can’t be changed or anxiety over something in the future. It’s a work in progress. It’s difficult not to reflect on the past today—my first Father’s Day without my dad. He taught me so much about how to be a good father without actually “teaching” me, you know? Pretty sneaky for an actual educator; maybe that’s why he was one of the best. Just ask any of his former students. Before my dad’s funeral last October, my mom and I found a Father’s Day note I wrote him in 2012 he had kept in one of his dresser drawers. It was at once comforting and painful to see this token of how he cherished our relationship. The last Father’s Day we shared in person was 2018. Christine was 14 weeks pregnant, so I put an ultrasound photo in his card to surprise him (and the rest of my family) with news of a fourth grandchild on the way. She was a work in progress. I still grieve the loss of my dad every day, for my family and me but also for my daughter. On good days, I try to channel that grief into my relationship with Isla while I’ve cared for her most of the last six months. Isla didn’t get to work alongside her Grandpa D in the garden like I did with mine, or her older cousins did with him. She sadly won’t have any memories of him, but she’ll always have his ocean blue eyes. I want her to feel like she knew him though—through stories, photos, objects, rituals, and traditions. I am dedicated to Isla knowing him. It’s a work in progress. https://www.instagram.com/p/CQWSqA0B5Vw/?utm_medium=tumblr

Today would have been my parents’ 51st anniversary, if not for my dad unexpectedly passing away ten weeks ago. This time last year, my family gathered in a cabin large enough to fit all of us to celebrate their fiftieth anniversary and to ring in the New Year together in the mountains of North Carolina. We had an incredible meal together that evening, toasting their marriage and our family. Mom and Dad shared memories of their courtship, wedding day, and the early years of their marriage. We listened to music from that era. We laughed, and we cried. It was a special time together, with all of us under one roof. Usually when I see my family, we bounce between a few different homes in Louisville. We didn’t know at the time we would be separated for so long because of the coming pandemic or that it would be some of the last memories I made with my dad. I feel grateful for that time and have thought about it often over the last year. The cabin was decorated for Christmas. Isla was just starting to walk. We took a Polar Express train ride together with all of his grandchildren, and he got to relax his aching back in a hot tub on the deck. What I remember most from that time together though is the fire Dad would build each day. The cabin had a fireplace with a stone hearth and chimney extending up to the pitched roof in the two-story living room / dining room space. The cabin host had to bring firewood to our covered porch more than once, and each time Dad would come outside to help him unload the truck and make small talk. He showed his grandkids how to properly start and tend the fire and let them add wood to it while making sure no one got burned. He expertly built and stoked the fire—earlier each day it seemed to us—and we jokingly pleaded with him not to make it so hot, as we shed layers and he sat peacefully in a chair, enjoying the warmth of the fire and the nearness of his family. https://www.instagram.com/p/CJW6JEGh3Ei/?igshid=18anlf8f92uq

Today would have been my parents’ 51st anniversary, if not for my dad unexpectedly passing away ten weeks ago. This time last year, my family gathered in a cabin large enough to fit all of us to celebrate their fiftieth anniversary and to ring in the New Year together in the mountains of North Carolina. We had an incredible meal together that evening, toasting their marriage and our family. Mom and Dad shared memories of their courtship, wedding day, and the early years of their marriage. We listened to music from that era. We laughed, and we cried. It was a special time together, with all of us under one roof. Usually when I see my family, we bounce between a few different homes in Louisville. We didn’t know at the time we would be separated for so long because of the coming pandemic or that it would be some of the last memories I made with my dad. I feel grateful for that time and have thought about it often over the last year. The cabin was decorated for Christmas. Isla was just starting to walk. We took a Polar Express train ride together with all of his grandchildren, and he got to relax his aching back in a hot tub on the deck. What I remember most from that time together though is the fire Dad would build each day. The cabin had a fireplace with a stone hearth and chimney extending up to the pitched roof in the two-story living room / dining room space. The cabin host had to bring firewood to our covered porch more than once, and each time Dad would come outside to help him unload the truck and make small talk. He showed his grandkids how to properly start and tend the fire and let them add wood to it while making sure no one got burned. He expertly built and stoked the fire—earlier each day it seemed to us—and we jokingly pleaded with him not to make it so hot, as we shed layers and he sat peacefully in a chair, enjoying the warmth of the fire and the nearness of his family. https://www.instagram.com/p/CJW6JEGh3Ei/?igshid=18anlf8f92uq

It may be Christmas Day, but it falls on Friday this year which means another installment of #FridayFFS. I'm feeling the giving spirit, so you get a break from menswear (and photos of me). Instead I’m featuring my better half, Christine, and her camel Chesterfield topcoat—or as she calls it—her "Peter McCallister," a la 1990’s holiday classic, HOME ALONe. She loves to pretend she's running to the gate through a bustling O'Hare, with passports and boarding passes tucked inside a chest pocket. In the interest of full disclosure, the coat was a Christmas gift from me a few years ago. Christine looks really fantastic in this color, which I regrettably cannot say about myself (not that we’re anywhere near the same size). The coat goes with most everything in her wardrobe, and it can be dressed up or down. Most importantly, this coat is WARM, thanks to a touch of cashmere, and she is ALWAYS COLD—even in mild San Francisco. FIBER:  90% wool, 10% cashmere blend FABRIC:  melton (I think), camel color FIT: knee length, slightly oversized to accommodate layering; “Keep the change, ya filthy animal!” FUNCTION: 3-button concealed front closure, single/center vent, fully lined, 2 hip pockets, 1 ticket pocket, 1 welt pocket at chest, 2 internal chest pockets FEEL: if the cashmere doesn’t make you feel like you’re flying first class to Paris while your kids are in coach, then the pick stitching on the notch lapels and pockets will. “More Champagne, please!” FROM: Ralph Lauren, made in China; purchased directly from the brand in December 2017 #FridayFFS #VNDERSTATED #Womenswear #RalphLauren #Polo #Outerwear #HomeAlone #PeterMcCallister https://www.instagram.com/p/CJOxsj4Bkav/?igshid=1odkalag1e50b

This week, on Friday for F___'s Sake, we're looking at a Patagonia Classic Retro-X Fleece Jacket because it’s getting cold—much like it was on the sixth annual Wreath March™️ earlier this month! Patagonia has been committed to doing what’s right since its inception in 1970. This way of doing business started with founder, Yvon Chouinard, and his first mountaineering equipment company. He essentially cannibalized his successful steel piton business when he realized the damage the pitons were doing to rock walls in Yosemite Valley and elsewhere. Chouinard and a partner developed and introduced less intrusive climbing tools that ushered in a new era of "clean climbing” and environmentalism. Fast forward fifty years, and Patagonia has become a status symbol for upwardly-mobile adults and—increasingly—their tiny children. This conspicuous consumerism flies in the face of much of Patagonia's business ethics, but at the end of the day, Patagonia is, in fact, a business. Thankfully, they’re one committed to fighting the climate crisis, preserving wild lands, and improving lives through countless initiatives, including the use of recycled polyester and wool fibers, organic cotton, and traceable down in most products; partnerships with twenty Fair Trade-certified factories; a repair program for fixing rather than discarding damaged gear; the Worn Wear used and recrafted gear program; environmental activism white papers and documentaries; and 1% for the Planet participation.  This past year has provided countless reminders that, no matter the amount, we vote with our dollars—from funding social and political activism, to supporting our beloved neighborhood restaurants, to buying from shops and brands that make our world a better place. It may mean something different to each of us, but it matters now more than ever. For me, it's often a small company, providing service you can't find elsewhere and quality goods made to last and in an honorable way. Once in a while, these companies find such success that they grow like Patagonia has; fortunately, their moral and ethical compass keeps them on the path of doing good with its profit and platform. (CONTINUED IN COMMENTS.) https://www.instagram.com/p/CI85uIIBSFB/?igshid=17z2544pao4sj

#FridayFFS 12/11: NOMOS Glashütte Orion 38 White, ref. 386 We celebrated my daughter, Isla's, second birthday on Wednesday. I cannot think of something more life changing that one can do than become a parent. To recognize that occasion, my partner, Christine, gave me a watch for my first Father's Day, back in June of 2019. I marvel at the ingenuity and craftsmanship that went into the watch each time I wind the movement by hand. It's easily among my most prized possessions; one I hope to pass along to Isla some day. It's an elegant and slim, time-only dress watch, most at-home on a leather strap. The first year I wore it intermittently on brown Horween shell cordovan and suede straps. I can be a bit clumsy and don't have the most nimble fingers, so I installed a deployant clasp to avoid it falling off my wrist trying to secure a pin buckle day after day. The drilled lugs make it relatively easy to change straps—even for me.  Since the last nine months have been a rather casual period, the watch has spent much of that time on an olive green French Navy-style (or Marine Nationale) loop strap. Erika's Originals make them custom to order in Europe. Mine has polished steel hardware to match the finish of the watch case. I recently moved the watch back over to the suede strap because I found myself missing the way the long, tapered lugs are accentuated by a two-piece strap.  FIBER:  stainless steel case, sapphire crystal and caseback FABRIC:  calfskin (suede), horsehide (shell cordovan), elasticized nylon webbing (MN strap) FIT:  38mm diameter, <9mm thick; I have a fairly large wrist (~7.5"), but the watch wears larger than its size, on account of the minimal bezel and relatively long lugs.  FUNCTION: hours, minutes, and seconds (in subdial); display caseback to stare at and completely lose track of time FEEL:  again, slim and elegant—everything I'm not but wish I was! FROM: NOMOS, made in the German town of Glashütte, near Dresden in Saxony; purchased at Shreve & Co., an authorized dealer in San Francisco #FridayFFS #VNDERSTATED #Menswear #MadeInGermany #NOMOSGlashutte #NOMOSOrion https://www.instagram.com/p/CIrIx1KhTVG/?igshid=16ju2s0zcpzp1

#FridayFFS is back after an extended hiatus. Let’s not waste any time, and just jump right into it. Today, we’re looking at a chambray shirt I’ve gotten a lot of mileage out of—including a recent six week cross-country road trip. I also had it on for a couple of the biggest days of my life, as you’ll find out below. It’s Friday, for f___’s sake—a weekly look at what makes the clothes we love. FIBER: 100% cotton FABRIC: lightweight blue chambray FIT: tailored, size large (16.5” neck, 35” sleeve) FUNCTION: button-down collar; chest pocket; chalk buttons at placket, collar, and sleeves; box pleat and locker loop at center back/shoulder FEEL: throw it on for a live Premier League football match in London; wear it in Portugal the day you propose to your future wife; put it on to go to the hospital for the birth of your daughter; that’s what I did—for all three of those events; this shirt is a wardrobe staple, an absolute go-to; and it gets better with age; so comfortable you could sleep in it, and sometimes you do; your daughter may someday try and steal it from you. FROM: Gitman Vintage, made in the USA; purchased from Unionmade in 2017 #FridayFFS #VNDERSTATED #Menswear #MadeInAmerica #GitmanVintage https://www.instagram.com/p/CIY5YlVFOGJ/?igshid=1c6cx22knfyij

Because of the ongoing pandemic, and visitor restrictions made by the hospital my dad was in for ten days, one of my two sisters and I weren’t able to see him until the day he passed. We arrived separately—me a few minutes before her—after planning to drive through the rain together; time was running out quickly. All told, we were both with him for less than an hour before he died. Still, I know we were fortunate to even get to see him and tell him goodbye one last time. When I got there, knowing from my other sister, a physician, that Dad had little time left but unsure of what state he would be in, I felt relieved that—while he couldn’t really speak—he could both recognize and hear me. He even squeezed my hand so tight that his own turned white, causing my concerned mom and sister to think it was I that was doing the squeezing. Shortly after I arrived and talked to him a bit, Dad asked for pen and paper to painstakingly write out a message for me: “it happened so fast.” At face value, I interpreted it as a statement on his recent illness, the subsequent fight for his life, followed by this rapid decline. But as I continued to consider it later that day and the following days, I think there were more layers of meaning and nuance to the message, like so much of what Dad said and did. “It happened so fast.” I believe it was a reflection on his entire existence. He was part of the post-WWII baby boom. He grew up up in the garden and grocery store of his Navy-veteran father, life guarding the lake at the local state forest each summer. He married my mom over fifty years ago, in the midst of social unrest and revolution, and they carried on together through unspeakable tragedies. I think his reflection is truly remarkable, considering the amount of both physical and emotional pain he endured over the course of his life. There must have been so many moments when it felt as if time stood still. To look back upon it all and marvel at how it all flew by. (continued in separate comment) (at Louisville, Kentucky) https://www.instagram.com/p/CHQxrDAhbvx/?igshid=rbc3qgh2xw5g

It’s Friday, for f___’s sake—a weekly look at what makes the clothes we love. Welcome back for the third edition! Today, we’re looking at a cap that I’ve been wearing much of this summer, and extended September and October warm weather in the Bay Area. It’s become such a daily wear that my daughter often finds it on a chair in the morning and brings it to me to put on while I sip my black coffee. FIBER: 100% cotton, natural, undyed color FABRIC: twill FIT: adjustable low-crown, four-panel construction FUNCTION: shade face from sun in a variety of locations, from beach to driver seat of German SUV FEEL: take a “dad hat,” stretch the bill way longer, tweak the construction from six panels to four, and make it right here in the good ol’ US of A FROM: Quaker Marine Supply, made in America #FridayFFS #VNDERSTATED #Menswear #CapsNotHats #MadeInAmerica #QuakerMarineSupply https://www.instagram.com/p/CGJ2VBUBLQs/?igshid=zte9yhme2xkz

It’s Friday, for f___’s sake—a weekly look at what makes the clothes we love. Welcome back for the second edition! Today, we’re looking at something that, frankly, I surprised myself with, but it made sense for a handful of reasons. It’s an aloha shirt that doesn’t get in the rotation nearly as much as most in my closet. For one, I don’t own many short sleeve shirts, and you’ll almost never catch me wearing anything red. But it’s been hot this week, and I felt drawn to put it on this morning. Aloha shirts have a rich cultural tradition in the Hawaiian Islands that continues today. It’s a wardrobe staple there in both business and casual settings, going far beyond the resort bartender mixing your Mai Tai to enjoy poolside. The shirts became more mainstream on the mainland with the casualization of business and work attire in the last 30-40 years and the notion of “Casual Friday.” More recently (and disturbingly), they have been co-opted by the alt-right shitbirds known as the Boogaloo Boys. For more context on this present-day phenomenon, read Jonathan Evans’ excellent essay featured in Esquire this summer. Then, in an act of defiance, wear your own aloha shirt (and a mask!) out in the world, practice radical kindness, compassion, and empathy, and don’t let these terrorists have it as a symbol of their fuckery. FIBER: 100% cotton, dyed navy blue FABRIC: plain weave, with reverse red and white print of Hawaiian motifs (surf and paddle scenes, palms, leaves, flowers, leis, and ukelele) FIT: tailored, with short sleeves and rounded tail FUNCTION: button down collar, 1 hidden (matched print) chest pocket, full button front closure, 2 pleats at back/shoulder FEEL: ideal for Hawaiian vacations (or Mexico!), also great for warm outdoor times with friends and family, and the last day of your corporate job FROM: Reyn Spooner, made in Korea; purchased at Unionmade (RIP), Spring 2019 #FridayFFS #VNDERSTATED #Menswear #ReynSpooner #AlohaShirt #Unionmade https://www.instagram.com/p/CF2m4O1BMdy/?igshid=1oiju9wmn22r5

This past week has been horrible and distressing—one worth forgetting, if only we could. There are so many terrible things happening in the world this year. I mean, what an understatement. There has been some progress made though, right? Hopefully much more is made before 2020 draws to a close. Right? I find it all too easy to dwell on the bad and often need a reminder to refocus on positives and to be a force of positivity in the world. In an effort to not let 2020 get the best of me, I’m starting a new weekly project. It’s no secret that clothes are a great source of interest, inspiration, and joy for me. To that end, each Friday, I’ll be taking a closer look at what makes the clothing we love through the alliterative categories below. It’s Friday, for f___’s sake! FIBER: 100% cotton, dyed military green FABRIC: lightweight ripstop, with a surprising amount of natural stretch FIT: long sleeve, hip-length, open-front sahasika FUNCTION: 8 flap pockets (6 snap closure at hip/waist, 2 button closure at chest), no front closure/hardware FEEL: the perfect outerwear to carry what’s required for pandemic-era daycare drop off and pickup (phone, wallet, keys... sanitizer, mask, pen, toddler snacks, sunglasses) FROM: 18 East, proudly made in India #FridayFFS #VNDERSTATED #18East #Menswear (at Mission District) https://www.instagram.com/p/CFlN5IvhwNKuPdDpwTW1msCUugV7bO6oHSeORQ0/?igshid=1edew8kq8y5ih

Oh it’s lit(erature)! #🔥 #Meta #TenthOfDecember #GeorgeSaunders #Fiction #ShortStories #TooManyHashTags (at Dog Eared Books)

Gold for now, green to come. (at Farmington, California)