tricks are for kids

Maybe I don't understand being just friends and being in a relationship .  

I can't do anything . I know you're hurt , alone , and sad . I'm not dumb , I know you like the back of my hand . You're pushing me away . I can't do anything about it . I'm not your boyfriend , i'm not someone that is very important in your life anymore . I care about you , I do . You need to keep your head up . All I can do is just wait . I know you will be fine , but it's going to take some time before you're okay . You keep all of it inside you , and it kills you . It eats you away and eats all the good away . You will probably deny this , but I know it . You sit in your room listening to sad songs , your mind goes racing with thoughts and what ifs . I can't be there like I was before , but I am always here for you .

Actually sitting down and figuring out what I really want in my life , my future . My dream . I never do this . I use to always live life one day at a time . I realized it really hasn't gotten me very far . The reason why I had such a hard time getting motivation and striving for more , was because I never wanted things to be honest , I am to comfortable . I never thought to myself , what do I want in the next 5 years from now , 10 years , etc . This is my life . I want to live it . I'm a smart kid , I learn fast , I realized a lot of this pretty quick . I'm growing stronger very day , pushing myself . I'm going to think . I'm going to dream , dream of what I want . A house on the lake , a big garage , two dogs . The list is growing . You can have and do anything you want , as long as you work hard and never give up . I am the only person that can give myself what I want , no one is going to give me it . Its me and only me .