lane! :)

I believe that during the first season, Eleven did not have purely romantic feelings for Mike, for Eleven, Mike is a symbol of salvation, rescue and comfort. 

Eleven doesn’t even understand what romantic relationships are when Mike kisses her for the first time. She is nearly nonverbal, has no models of intimacy, and moments earlier thought he would become something like a brother figure to her.

During the first season, Mike begins to receive skeptical  and teasing looks from those around him, especially Lucas (“If you love her so much, why don't you marry her?” “You like that a girl isn't grossed out by you”), who believes that since he spends time with a girl and shows her kindness, he must be in love with her. After Lucas points this out to Mike, he begins to internalize this external interpretation , confusing admiration with love. That's how heteronormativity works.

Heteronormativity is the cultural assumption that heterosexuality is the “default” and most valid form of romantic relationship. In fiction, this often leads to automatically interpret male-female interactions as romantic, even when their dynamic could be read in a different or more complex way. It is an automatism that can twist the perception of narrative dynamics.

 There is also the common adolescence desire to feel romantically valued, Mike and Eleven become potential sources of that validation for each other.

Season 2:

In the second season, we witness their first “ proper” kiss at the dance. What has changed in Eleven? While she did not previously feel any obvious romantic attraction to Mike, she spent a year alone with the consolation of “seeing Mike again” as her only source of comfort. A teenage girl who has been alone for a year, having just discovered the world, lacking any relationship models  and having found her first best friend, will inevitably idealize and cling to the only source of warmth she remembers. I think this causes Eleven to feel something akin to romantic attraction, but it's rather poorly structured. After the tender moment of reconciliation in the last episode, the dynamic changes completely.

Season 3:

In season three, Hopper is concerned because Mike and El start making out every time they see each other. All this kissing is new for both of them, and they experience it like any new couple would, with enthusiasm and curiosity. There is mutual “romantic” validation and shared experience between the two.

However, the relationship is still fragile, and we viewers still can't understand how their personalities can be compatible. Eleven still has very few interests outside Mike and spending some time with her friends. 

In the first season, Mike and Eleven barely knew each other and grew closer thanks to shared traumatic experiences; In the second season, they idealized each other without actually interacting until the end; In the third season, Mike and Hopper are shown as the main figures Eleven hangs out with. Even though she can go out and come home before curfew, she and Mike seem only interested in physical affection, rather than sharing interests, as Max will do with Eleven later on.

When Eleven forms a new friendship that teaches her emancipation, independence, and a way to understand and get to know herself, she does not hesitate to distance herself from Mike. At first, she is happy about it, but then she is no longer so sure of her decision because she still cares deeply about Mike and obviously does not want to lose him. Mike, meanwhile, is shown in a downright comical light: when he tries to apologize, he exasperates every word and is dismissed by Eleven, while Mike tries to “confess his love” to El through periphrases, he is interrupted and in the last episode he has the opportunity to talk about it, but remains silent or tries to redirect the conversation.

debunking common mileven proof (by vlaresynxx on twt)

In the scene where Mike says, “Because I love her and I can't lose her again.” M11's point of view states that he “let his true feelings slip out,” as it couldn't have been a prepared reaction, so his romantic feelings are confirmed.

That scene depicts Mike's inability to trust Eleven to make decisions for herself, which is what Max argues. Eleven's narrative arc is about achieving independence and trusting her own judgment, so we should side with Max. He tells her he loves her, but not directly; he doesn't seem capable of doing so.

M11s believe that Mike doesn't know how to express his feelings because he comes from a “loveless family,” while the Byler counterpart argues that although Ted Wheeler is portrayed as an apathetic and emotionally distant father, Karen repeatedly shows herself to be loving and caring, encouraging Mike to open up to her and rely on her support, which he does. The only other couple who had difficulty saying “I love you” were Nancy and Steve in season two, and the reason was not that Nancy came from a loveless family, but rather that she did not truly love Steve.

Mike’s concern in the scene is genuine—but not necessarily romantic.

Season 4:

 In season four, we see Mike's vulnerability falter. He still seems unable to say “I love you” to Eleven. They communicate through letters and write to each other often. She feels the need to lie to Mike and herself about her life in Lenora. Eleven no longer has her powers and needs to feel like a normal girl. She doesn't want to be idealized as a superhero in that moment because she feels unworthy of that title and struggles to accept herself without powers. When Eleven confronts Mike about this, he disregards her feelings.

vlaresynxx on twt

The first argument between Mike and Eleven in season four: Eleven explains to Mike why she feels insecure, and he responds (quote from the script) with “the exact wrong thing.”

Mike even goes so far as to say, “You're ridiculous,” “I say it.” (referring to loving her), which is somewhat manipulative behavior.

There is also a direct parallel between this scene and the one between Mike and Will in the same episode: we are shown the incompatibility between Eleven and Mike compared to the compatibility between Will and Mike (“you never say it” “I say it.” - “I didn't say it” “you didn't have to”).

Mike shows emotional openness with Will that he cannot show with Eleven. Season five continues this pattern: nothing suggests romantic intimacy between Mike and Eleven.

Season 5:

ROBIN'S SPEECH: analysis by vlaresynxx on twt, final part: @miwiheroes

“Robin's speech was about Mike being Will's ‘Tammy,’ and it was meant to help him get over his feelings for Mike.”

In season five, the Duffers gave Will hope for a romantic relationship. He wouldn't have asked “how obvious?” (when he and Robin talked about “ signals”) if there had been absolutely nothing to make Will think that Mike might reciprocate his feelings. It would have been a pointless narrative decision.

In season four, Will had absolutely no hope for a romantic relationship between him and Mike, and it devastated him. If the Duffers wanted Will to get over Mike, they would have shown us a Will with no hope. Instead, we see a change in Will. Not only does he have hope, but he even attempts a small flirtatious move with Mike.

Before Robin talks to Will, she sees Will shutting down after his interaction with Mike (excerpt from the table read of episode four of season 5, after the interaction between Will and Mike): “It's a small moment, but it makes Will red with embarrassment. He feels stupid. Mike doesn't clock it, but Robin does.” Will is SCARED, of his sexuality, of his feelings. That's exactly what Robin says: he shouldn't be afraid of his feelings.

Why did the Duffers decide to give Will hope this season? Wouldn't it have made more sense for him to stay as he was in season four, if Robin had advised him to get over Mike? Robin gave Will that speech not because she saw Mike's rejection, but because she saw Will's fear of his own feelings. She saw herself in Will and told him what she herself would have needed to hear when she was in exactly the same situation.

Overall, Mileven is not written as a stable romantic relationship but as a narrative device to explore themes of codependency, trauma, and adolescent misinterpretation of emotional experiences.

i wrote this after reading this amazing post, so a few elements might be similar!!