we reside in the dark

“There are parts of the city directly on the ocean, but there have been walls that surrounded the city for generations. It gives us more control over who ports, or, gods forbid, if we ever get attacked. My ancestral home is set back a little, but you still smell the seas nearly wherever you are there.” He doesn’t know when the walls went up, they’ve been there his entire life, he just knew he had to maintain them, and ensured the magic that protected them wouldn’t fail. Or so he prayed, that’s all he could do in the long run. He was not one of the earth movers who would trail fingers across the rocks, making sure they stuck and there were no fault lines, so he just had to believe them in the end. “I agree with you there. When you spend what feels like half your life on the seas, land never feels right. Bring whomever you want, Erin knows he’s welcome there too.” He didn’t shy away from the fact that well, Ludwen was a port city and that usually meant.. well, even Elves had needs. “Maybe you’ll teach the staff at one of the establishments in my city something new, something to spice up their lives,” he says with a soft laugh.

“I suppose I’m just used to seeing it more discreet. You see lots of hair accessories and necklaces. Somedays it tempts me to grow my hair out more and adorn with tendrils of twisted silver and sapphire.” His hair was shorter than many elves seemed to keep it, resting at his shoulders, but as someone who kept to the seas, he aimed to keep it away from his eyes and out of his face. “I understand why some do more permeant ways though, how often you hear of humans dying in childbirth, and the risks involved.” And also.. well, some people just didn’t want kids and that was fair enough. 

His ears perk up, “I could help, absolutely. Bring a little life to this town.”

Catlina wondered if those were things she’d have to consider soon. In some small ways, regardless of what happened with Avitej and her relationship, she’d likely be spending more and more time in Rajayer. She had been to the city once in recent years and it was only to be swept away back to the Nightshade by Erinwel. Before that, well she hadn’t been since she’d known Avitej. “Darling we’d need a year’s seminar for me to teach them what I know…” She laughed, “But I suppose so, something to spice up the party, get more people interested. Not a bad idea at all.”

“Mm.  You only like ordering me around, yeah,”  Avi murmured cheekily against the side of Catlina’s head, giving her ass a little pat.  There was a bit of irony there, that Avi was hardly prim or modest when it came to public displays of affection; but manhandling Cat in front of her employees just seemed improper.  Especially on her goodbye party and all.

The mention of the Tarandiel elves made Avi’s eye twitch, his jaw tighten.  He looked away from Catlina for a moment, shifting his weight like he was once more trying to shift around the blame for what happened to those elves.  They had a name, came from a noble family.  Was known and missed by the Governess of Asfahel.  And Avi managed to decimate an entire house, save one boy.  And Rhiss was exchanged for his own actions.  His baby sister, his little girl, a continent away.   “Yeah, those fucking elves,” he muttered through grit teeth.  

Catlina’s arm curled around him as if she knew to comfort him - and she did know.  By this point, Avi was fairly sure she knew him inside and out.  And surprises he had left to show her would be taken in stride, because Catlina knew the core of him, and Avi was comfortable with that.  He took her hand and kissed it fervently, like a child snuggling against their favourite security blanket for reassurance and comfort.  But he couldn’t help staring around at the party, his eyes dark and tempestuous as he momentarily got lost in his own thoughts.

The way Catlina tucked herself against him though, and the question of the shy girl pulled Avi right out.  He laughed indulgently when Catlina protested watching with pride as she divulged the story of how they met.  It felt so personal and intimate, shared with her employees.  Her small coterie.  It felt, rather absurdly, like an engagement party.  If only Erin were here to complete the tableau, but Avi knew the vasharr was occupied with business things back on the mainlands.

Remaining modest be damned; Avi leaned in and kissed Catlina in front of her people, squeezing her as tightly as he could.  He could hear the cheering around them and Avi loved it; relishing it like a man who subconsciously worried that it would be the last time any crowd would cheer to see them kissing.  

“Well kampahns, what’re we all waiting for, hm?”  Avi said to the crowd, once he finally pulled back from the kiss  He raised his glass.  “Let’s get the Johar drunk, one last night.”

—

Morning came too fast;  Avi always found he slept too deep, too soundly with Catlina with him.  He could’ve kept sleeping right into the afternoon, but he knew they had important things to attend to.  Namely - sailing to Tevi.  He nibbled at breakfast and mostly just drank khaf, anticipation and apprehension worrying away at his insides.

“We’ll be back for all that you’ve packed.  Just take what you need for the journey.  If we sail now, weather permitting, we should reach Tevi by tomorrow morning, hm?”

Avi caught a hold of Catlina’s hand as she passed (since waking, it seemed like she hadn’t given herself a chance to sit down even once) and he tugged her to perch on his knee where he lounged.  “You’re gonna be alright, my love.  We’re going to be alright, I promise.” 

He couldn’t make that promise; he hardly had the authority to make such guarantees; but Avi also had his conviction that he could make anything happen, especially in Rajayer.  Especially if he wanted it to happen.  That’s what being nobleborn was about, what being a Kumara was about.   He was subject to the gods; but the people of Rajayer were subject to him.

Even Kata’s own priestesses. 

The rest of the night had been a blur. From drinks and kisses and hugs, Catlina was glad to have an inordinate amount of alcohol to dull the pang of guilt and loneliness she felt in leaving the Nightshade behind. She was thrilled, of course, if still nervous, to start her life with Avi and turn her attentions to even grander adventures and endeavors. But it was never easy leaving people behind. Especially when you were the one who had curated each of their stories since they’d joined you. And the story of the business they worked for. Gemina and Mire and the lot of them would hold an immense place in Catlina’s heart but it would only be in memories and stories told to Avi late at night each time she let her walls down for him.

As she slid into his lap, they took a while to finish off their breakfast. Catlina knew that they would be alright, they both had marketable skills, they were both smart and enterprising people, albeit in different ways. He was right, no matter what happened with the kingdom, no matter what happened with Rajayer or the rest of the world, they would find a way to be alright. They would be happy and find some measure of success. And really, that was the only affirmation she needed. “I think you’re right.” She murmured, nuzzling against his neck quickly before taking their dishes and putting them on the coffee table in front of them.

All of her struggles in her life, all of her heartache and loss and loneliness and hurt, it was all leading to this. As soon as they reached Tevi, she would find out what her true metal was. She would learn whether or not it was Kata guiding her and had been all along or not. And she would give him, give the world, a reason to accept her as an archduchess. A thrown away girl, years spent on the streets lost to a family who would have loved her, losing the support she needed, and yet she turned out stronger. A woman still willing to love, even if it took her a while, a woman willing to fight and learn and change, even if she doesn’t know where to begin.

“Mmmm.  Who’s going to order them around now,”  Avi teased, comfortably snuffling against Catlina’s voluminous hair.  “You know it’s interesting, now that I think about it.  How much I saw this place develop and change, but specifically through you.”  

It was true - once Avitej found Catlina, it was like the rest of the brothel (whether Shrieking Clam or Nightshade) completely fell away.  His tunnel vision was on her; the rest all became periphery.  So he watched and observed how the name changed, then the renovations made, then the staff change-arounds, then the rules shifted, then the guest services were adjusted…all of it, Avitej saw through Catlina alone, as if she were his telescope and the brothel was the sea.  

He didn’t notice (or particularly care) about the dynamics and lives of anyone else living in the brothel, or their thoughts of feelings beyond the filter of Catlina’s viewpoint.  Avi never really spoke to any other employee; Erin wasn’t an employee under Catlina’s watch, he was her partner.  But everyone else, Avi just inherently treated as, well.  As Catlina’s subjects.  She had become the Queen of her realm; And true to form, Avitej Kumara imperiously saw no reason to tarry with anyone else, when he could consort with a Queen.

“Your Gemina will be a different sort of leader, I’d expect,”  Avi mused.  “Your own Heir Apparent, hm?  You’ve groomed her well. And I’m glad that her family was indeed safe, on Neelam.”  That information had been important enough for Avi to glean, since Gemina was Rajayan by birth.  Personally, Avi rather enjoyed the circular fate of it all.  Catlina being taken to Rajayer to become Rajayan, and a Rajayan taking over the most illustrious brothel in all the northern isles.  

Excellent.

Still a little soporific from the sex and the nap,  Avi blinked slowly towards the little girl who piped up.  She’d asked Catlina a question of some sort (Avi couldn’t fathom what, just yet) and he couldn’t help smiling benevolently.  The way the young woman gazed at Catlina, admiring and almost reverent.  It was so sweet; and for a moment Avi felt almost bad, taking Cat away from this.  A place where she was so unequivocally beloved and everyone was loyal to her, to the death.  Where she felt no judgement, only trust and adoration.

Who would want to leave such a good, wholesome, comfortable life, where she had control of everything - from the tiling patterns of the washroom floor, to the client privileges?  

And when the little girl clarified, Avi blinked rapidly.

He stared at the girl, somewhat appalled by her impertinence, but Catlina seemed to take it in stride.  And Avi remained quiet, stalwart as he realized.  Catlina was giving this all up, for him.

Or no - not for him, not just for him.  For the chance of a family with him.

“Oh, that’s all eel’s breath,”  Avi countered in his commanding but warm voice. Avi winked at the girl, then gave Catlina a jostle. “This one was besotted the first day she saw me, she was.  Cat practically begged the old whoremaster for a chance to spend a night together.”

Avi leaned back to look down at Catlina with a crooked smile.  “Good thing Kata had come to me in a dream, the very night before I landed in Illasqa, hm?  The blessed goddess showed me the likeness of this beautiful lady’s face, and instructed that once I found her, I should never let her go. One does not disobey the word of a goddess…or her blessed ones.”

It was all typical sailor’s tall tales that Avi was spinning, of course.  He didn’t believe Catlina experienced love at first sight (he was only teasing) and he didn’t have any dream from Kata, the night before his and Cat’s first, fateful encounter.  

But the longer Avi spoke and looked at Cat, the softer and more tender his tone became.  As if, once again, the entire brothel had fallen away to his periphery.  And for Avitej, there was only Catlina.

-

Catlina grinned, rolling her eyes and gently nudging Avi with her elbow. “I’m pretty sure Gemina orders them around way more than I ever did.” It might not have been entirely true, although Catlina had unknowingly always used her telempathy to gauge what someone was feeling and what they wanted and then made suggestions, from subtle to forceful, on what she wanted. Generally, it had worked in her favor, though she’d never known that’s what she was doing.

Standing there, in one kingdom, the kingdom she had built, mostly by herself, she realized how much Avitej had been the catalyst for that too. If he’d never chosen her when he’d walked through the entrance gate of the Shrieking Clam, rickety hinges barely hanging on then, she might not have been as assertive in climbing into the leadership in what became the Nightshade. Even then, when she was fixing the shutters when he’d walked in on her, she had been content to fix the place up simply out of a desire to present the brothel in the best possible light simply because she lived there. But knowing him, he had been something of an inspiration to her. His attention to her, his belief even then, had sparked her desire to be more. And it was always there, but basking in his confidence and his confidence in her, she had honed in on what she wanted. She’d set her sights on leadership. And now, that focus had expanded again to something even greater.

Catlina nodded, her smile had faded as she looked onto the small group. Her staff totaled eleven, not including Erinwel and herself. Eleven people she had cultivated and watched grow and had helped her grow. “She will…” The small brunette looked up at Avi and took a deep breath, “I suppose she is… her family will be able to rebuild entirely in a month or two, damn those elves for causing so much trouble…” She wrapped an arm around his waist, her other hand resting flat against his hand, her thumb stroking his fingers. “I think she’ll be a very fine leader here.” Cat glanced over, Gemina was off chatting with one of the other staff, drinking and laughing.

Cat wondered how Gemina would protect them. All of them, like this young housekeep, so soft spoken and shy and pure. Catlina had always looked out for all of them, quite literally booting customers out of the Nightshade if they got too rowdy or too handsy with any of the staff. Gemina loved them and had often stepped up to deal with customers when she couldn’t but her attentions would be elsewhere now. Catlina wondered if Gemina would have another to act as her own assistant soon. She hoped so, and as the guilt caught in a ball in her throat, Cat tucked her face against Avi for a moment before clearing her throat and looking up at the girl again.

Thankfully, Avi broke the moment with his good natured humor and wit. She slapped at his stomach gently, shaking her head as she laughed. “Oh fish dick!” Erin and even Rhiss might have insisted that she had magic but sometimes she thought Avi himself might. He was intuitive in many ways, even if he didn’t realize it. He knew when she needed humor to deal with her own emotions, but perhaps he was just more in touch with her than anyone else was.

“If you really want to know what happened!” She narrowed her gaze at him, the playful smirk still lingering, “He walked in on me on my day off!” She looked back to Miré and shook her head. “I was painting and fixing the shutters right outside the office. If I remember right, he wanted the newest addition to the Shrieking Clam… but after me he didn’t ask for the newest madam afterwards ever again…”

“And your opinion alls that matter to me, love,”  Avi said softly, dragging heated kisses against Cat’s skin.   At the moment he meant it.  Granted, despite their ten years of knowing and learning to love each other,  he still hadn’t yet envisioned what would happen to his conviction and resolve when Catlina met his family.  

Like so many decisions in Avi’s life, he’d figure it out when it actually came to be.  No point fretting over things that hadn’t even happened. There was already too much to worry over in the present.

He paused in his devoted attentions to Catlina, studying her face as she explained that it wasn’t shame.  He stroked along her high cheekbone, his calloused finger dragging the scar that crossed her eye.  He couldn’t help pinching the slick skin on her brow, as he leaned in to give Cat a kiss.  

“I won’t give anyone a chance to say anything about you - who and what you are. Not before I say it first,”  Avi told Catlina, his words firm like steel.  “As long as you’re alright with that, of course.  No euphemisms, nothing hidden, you understand.  The northern Loqoalans tend to parlay in pretty poetic prose, but us Rajayans tend to speak a bit more..utilitarian.”  He smiled crookedly, kissing the corner of her open mouth.  “That’s one of the first things I liked about you when we first met.  Plain-spoken and slightly crass - that’s my girl.”

He chuckled, pleased that she seemed to concede to his idea - Avi wasn’t particularly against blackmail or leverage, so long he was the one doing it, of course.  Despite Avitej not being particularly fond of spycraft,  he could be brutally underhanded to get what he wanted, when it suited him.  When it advantaged him, and his family.  “It’s intel, darling, nothing wicked about that.  EWhy you wanted me to bring in spies for, innit?  But I’ve got you, Catlina.  You’re all I need.”

Well, and Cecily Gwynne.  But that was a favour to Cat herself, so he figured it worked out.  

Her promises soothed Avi, encouraged him to focus on Catlina.  He didn’t want talk anymore, too caught up in the pleasure that was reuniting with his betrhothed.  All Avi wanted now was to unravel his darling Cat into sweet moans and cries, where the only word she could utter was his name.  

—

Avi did spend the rest of the hour and then some getting some rest, after they washed up and Catlina got herself dressed again.  He mumbled something about leaving him there, on her bed. 

“I’ll join you in a bit,” he said against her pillows, half-asleep by the time she left to join her employees.  It was the first time in a week that Avi had gotten any proper rest.  He was exhausted now, but at least it it was a pleasant exhaustion, thanks to Catlina.  Avi slept briefly, but he slept hard.

Within the next hour Avi eventually appeared, pleased when one of the serving girls swished over immediately and plied him with a drink.  Avi found his way to Catlina, coming up behind her and curling an arm around her waist.  He kissed the top of her head.  “Having fun?  Have the goodbyes tears from the little ones started yet?”

Avi surveyed the gathering. Catlina was so much to her employees.  A mother, a caretaker, a sister, a confidante, a mistress, an employer.  Family and friend, someone they could depend on and trust for anything.  She was idolized in her little world, with no room for anyone to object to her reasonable but firm regulations.  She rallied her workers around her, effectively forming a solid, unbreakable bond.  

She fostered an ‘us versus them’ outlook, in Avitej’s opinion.  Where ‘us’ were the employees, and the only ones who could truly be trusted; particularly herself, and Gemina.  And the ‘them’ were the clients - any of whom could turn on the prostitutes in an instant (with the exception of Avi, of course. Of course not him, he reassured himself).  And also the ‘them’ of any pious or morally righteous group tried to oppress.  Granted, that sort of morality hardly made an impact in Loqoala, but there were always groups out there.  

-

Every time they were together, Catlina felt her walls crumble a little more. And it wasn’t that she didn’t need them, in some ways she did need them more than ever. Because she would be scrutinized and critiqued in ways she couldn’t even imagine now. And she would build new walls, appropriate for other people. But with Avi, she’d never have them again. And it was all because he was making her feel safe. And she was letting herself trust him and feel that security in him. And just as Avitej had noticed changes in her, her staff had too. Especially Gemina, as she had made several comments since Catlina had gotten back from Glasswater about her going out of her way to help not only her staff, but Avi. How she’d created plans and dreams around him.

And in many ways, it was scary. Because she didn’t know what would be waiting for her in Rajayer and Catlina was someone who made plans based on her experience and knowledge. She’d have none of that to back her up in the lower islands. But as she talked to her staff and drank and laughed, she realized that she was ready for that life. And though it would always be hers in some way, the staff was trained and dedicated and even exchanging what sorts of plans they could come up with now that there would be a shift in the feel of it. And perhaps more importantly, they were ready for a new chapter too.

Catlina wondered if she could continue to utilize her staff’s talents after she became archduchess. Were there such hard rules for court that prostitutes wouldn’t be allowed in at all, despite her having risen those ranks? Even if they turned away from that life to one of courtesans and spycraft? He was using Cecily Gwynne’s talents, wasn’t he? Even though she was ready to move on with her life, the thought that her staff would no longer be welcome in hers did cast a great cloud over her head. But it was a topic to brooch with Avi another day. And there was nothing to suggest that any of them would want to leave their lives, anyway. The same serving girl that poured Avi a drink refilled Catlina’s wine glass and he slid up next to her. She leaned into him, nuzzling her head against his shoulder. She raised a brow and quirked her head to gaze at him. “They’re all talking about what they plan on doing when I’m gone, I think they can’t wait to be rid of me.” She chuckled. It wasn’t entirely true, they were trying to find their place now that she wouldn’t be leading them. And she appreciated that. The fact that they’d be alright without her.

“Actually some of their ideas are quite good. But Gemina will implement them well.” Her lips curled into a smile and she leaned up to brush them against his jawline. There were a few who had been crying, and she was sure they’d done so many times since she’d left for Vailen and even when she’d brought them there to show the elves just how rewarding owning a brothel could be. But their tears had dried up for her, for the party, for their guest. They’d likely miss her more than she wanted to acknowledge. But taking care of people, she’d learned, planted them as a seed in your heart. Once they were in, it would be nearly impossible to tear the roots out.

“How did you… when did you figure it out?” A timid, lilting and soft voice spoke up from the group. Catlina’s eyes found the gaze of Miré and she looked caught for a moment. “How did I figure what out?” She asked, knowing what the young girl meant but trying to form her answer without embarrassing herself in front of Avi. The girl was so unlike what Catlina had been. She was soft-spoken, pliant and joyful. Catlina had hired her to help with the washing and help her keep the Nightshade clean, nothing else. And she often sent her into Illasqa with one of their male staff to keep her away from clients. Gemina would take care of her too, she was certain. “How… uh… how’d you know you loved him?” Her cheeks were bright red as she tucked her short brown hair behind her ears.

The very fact that Catlina just replied with a soft (if wary, he heard that.  Mostly because he was searching and anticipating her trepidation) affirmative and left the topic of her in Rajayer alone, spoke volumes to Avitej.  It filled him with a new sense of love, but also a burgeoning responsibility.  A responsibility that instead of shirking or shying away from, he embraced.  A duty to retain this incredible gift, this trust that Catlina had placed in him, and encourage it to grow.  Never let it diminish, not if Avi could help it.

Alright, she said, and offered no more argument or resistance, for now. Everything implied under that one word - her trust in him, her willingness to believe in him, her trust in them to make each other happy - it was all there, packed into one little word.

He was overcome enough with this momentous experience, that he didn’t see the little falter in Catlina afterwards; and that moment passed when she teased him, and he laughed it off.  “I’ve heard no many times,”  Avi said with a grin.  “To which I conceded of course; but then spent days afterwards alone, contemplating where and how I fell short.  Oh, the tragedy of me.”

Catlina’s alarm was palpable, and Avitej realized he needed to tell her the full story. Now that they were together and relatively safe, he would. Avi wasn’t hesitant to share everything with Cat, even the distressful things.  She was soon to be his equal and partner, after all.   Avi would protect her, but not to separate her from him.

“I’m fine.  Look how well-healed I am, the sling came off yesterday in fact.  Because I knew I’d be seeing you and I wanted to be fit.”  Avi assured her, but he still reveled in her attention, soaking it up.  He appreciated the care she took, in divesting him of his own clothes.  

“Impossible,”  Avi replied, when Catlina suggested secrecy about her past.  “I’d rather say it myself, than have someone else voice it - your name is renowned, darling.  Any dissident who tries use your past as a weapon against my rule, must be neutralized.  No - my betrothed traded in sex, and were a madame of the notorious Nightshade. They know that I was a frequent visitor. Trying to hide it now implies that I’m ashamed, and I’m not.  Just like any vocation, that’s not who you are, it’s what you did….”  Avi paused though, blinking at Catlina as it occurred to him to ask.  

“Unless…it’s something you feel will bring you shame?”  He smiled then, and stroked her face, tracing along her nose and lips.  

“Listen to me.  You’ve pleasured a great many great people.  That means, my darling, beautiful girl - that you know a great many illicit things about great people, hm?  All those naughty, degenerate pleasures. They will quiver in terror now, to know their scandalous secrets might at any time, be revealed to the Rajayan Archduke by his devoted Archduchess. They will topple over themselves to please us and downplay your history, lest you choose to spill their shameful desires with your beloved husband.”  Avi’s smile was vicious.

“And you will spill them to me, should any of them anger us.  You’re no one’s weapon but your own, my love.”

He returned his attentions then - even more enthusiastic now - to kissing and stroking Catlina, eliciting her arching and her soft cries of approval and pleasure. Avi felt a feverish sort of pleasure mounting and he embraced it fully, with every touch and gasp between them.  

“You certainly do believe in me, giving us a whole hour no less,”  Avi said, but he reveled in Catlina’s continued insistence that he was not as dull as he’d accepted.  

“I worried, I did,” he whispered against her skin.  “That Kata was angry with me.  For our betrothal.  But now I wonder if she and Varis work together to challenge us.  Even Moruk, testing me to see if I’m truly worthy.  You might say it’s hubris, to think the gods lavish only one man with such attention,”  Avi gazed down at Calina, as he fit against her.  His eyelashes fluttered from the sheer pleasure of her heat surrounding him, taking him in.

“But how can I think otherwise, with you here, with me, my love.  At the cusp of our new life together?”

Catlina asked it would be alright to sail with him - or so Avi thought. He was about to answer with a generous affirmative, except then Cat continued and Avi realized that Cat wasn’t just talking about sailing.  She meant once they were on Rajayer.  Once they were home. 

She was asking him about living there…with him.

For a moment, Avitej wanted to pettily bring up her own plans for an apartment, but he also didn’t want an argument tonight; besides, wasn’t she asking him exactly what he’d been asking himself?  What if Catlina came home with him?  To the Keep?  Wasn’t that what he wanted?

Unable to come up with a response, Avi just kissed her deeply, breathing her in when he paused for air.  “Of course I want you with me, darling.  But - we’ll figure out the details later, we have some time now,”  Avi said, and this much was true - at least for him. Catlina took time to lay her plans with much careful deliberation.  Avi on the other hand could plan on a whim; it was one of his best skills, considering his mariner life.  

The disapproving voice in his head growled that amidst all the troubles in Rajayer, sailing between Tevi, Illasqa and Rajayer were wasted days for just one small woman.  But Avi squashed that thought forcefully.  He hadn’t seen Catlina in so long, and this was the beginning of their future together.  He’d take as much time as they needed.

“I’m not about to let you go homeless, after all,”  Avi joked lightly.  Well, for him it was a joke, having never been homeless his entire life. In a strange but good humour, he chuckled at her own joke.  “My favourite port.  My best and only port,” he praised her softly, stroking up the inside of her thighs.

“I love you too,” Avi replied immediately, relishing how naturally it flowed between them now.  He scoffed at the idea of their visit to Katajyana taking days.  “I’m the Heir Apparent of Rajayer, my sweet love. They’ll make time for me.” He spoke with utter confidence.  Tevi was a part of Rajayer; and in his corner of the world, they obeyed him unequivocally. 

He was learning how this worked - and how effectively it worked, once he started to believe it himself. “For us, I mean,” he amended, belatedly, caressing Cat’s face with adoration. His gaze was calm and warm, but there was burning intensity as he restudied her face.  When Avitej was with Catlina, it was like the rest of everything fell away, and there was only the two of them.  At least, it used to be that way.

But now, knowing she was going to be with him, become his wife, Avi had every intention of pulling her into everything in his life, instead of hiding from it under her curtain of hair.  “Rajayer is in distress and it needs me there to guide and nurture it back onto its feet.  The attack was a blow to us as a realm, particularly so soon after losing Tazar and his family. They almost nearly lost me as well…”  Avi shook his head.  

“I won’t allow it.  They expect swift action, and you’re going to be a part of that, my love.  The newest entrepreneur from north Loqoala, who has independently re-invigorated trade with Vailen while Elysi licks her wounds, all out of love for her nation. The Illasqan dignitary who has held audience with the Empire, and found herself in the Baodai’s good graces.  The beautiful girl with humble beginnings, to be revealed as Kata’s Divine Daughter.  Three markers of good fortune within one person, soon to be gracing Rajayan soil.  You understand…”  He traced along her scarred eye, how meaningful it looked now.

“You’re going to be Rajayer’s emblem of hope, my love.  You must be, they need this.  You must be, for your betrothed.”

He called her all these things, yet made no mention of her possible title from the Amaranthes.  Whether he deliberately omitted it, Avi didn’t make clear to Cat.

He couldn’t yet bring himself to mention Rhiss (they had time, and he’d get to everything in time) so instead he commented,  “You know, you’ve changed since.  Since you left for Vailen.”  Their time in Vailantis being a more liminal experience.  But here back home in Loqoala, he could actually see the changes in Catlina.  Avi smiled.  “I believe I will like it.”

He cupped one arm behind his head, the other still a little too weak to move like that.  Avi curled it around Catlina instead, fingers rolling up and down her sleek spine.  “We mustn’t deny your people the pleasure of celebrating you, sephanri.” His words got lazy, throaty the longer he soaked himself in her presence.  With her straddling him, Avi kicked them further onto the bed, hips rising to bump against hers.

“Which I why I insist that anyone I love and adore is always welcome upon the shores of Ludwen. You haven’t seen true Elven beauty until you’ve made it through the walls,” he tells her with a wide and cheeky grin. But he was more than a little bit vain and biased about the city that was his ancestral home. “I may not speak of it all that often in detail, but we are a port city after all.”

He lets out a soft laugh when he sees Cat’s motion to the pearl, “He would be more readily to give in to my nagging about my home if we were both to tempt him with it, I’m sure.” Although, with the past he had with Avi’s family and he himself, he knows that sooner or later he will want to dig through Vaeril’s personal library and even his journals. “I’ll assure you that you’ll have that freedom, my dear.”

“I’ll make due,” he shrugs, “It should only be a few years of a business before I can go back to stalking the seas, but my magic does come in handy,” he teases. It made travelling back home easier, when he would mismanage his time, and find himself at sea, or in a different city. “Genetics are strange with my people. Maybe it’s because we live longer but while you see plenty of humans with small armies of children, with the vae, children seem harder to come by. So it’s not like my more fertile than others of my kind, it was just luck. Bastard children are frowned upon my elves but I never viewed him as my child. He will never be my child and if he is looking for some sort of father relationship with me, it would be an insult to his actual father.” Vaeril grins and raises a hand, showing a gold ring with his family crest on it, “Any wise person has one, but bangles are too loud when in action if you ask me, kitten. “

-

“Ludwen is set back from the coast, but is less than a few miles correct?” Catlina was curious. For the short time she’d been in Vailantis she’d come to realize that not being near the ocean, not hearing its siren call and smelling the salt in the air, feeling the breeze against her face, well it made her heart heavy. Also, being so far from Avi had made her incredibly homesick. It was similar to Illasqa in its positioning she supposed. The Nightshade was on the outskirts and had built itself inside a tiny cove, away from the bustle of the port and the city but accessible. “I do miss the sea. I feel  half of my heart is missing when I’m inland.”

She nodded, sipping on her drink. It might not have been the way he’d said it, or what she’d implied but Vae had always been talented at reading between the lines. But there were few outside of Erin that she would trust with the knowledge of her relationship with Avi. And she did trust Vaeril in many ways, but until Avitej told her it would be alright to let others know, she would refrain from any details. “Thank you, I’ll plan a trip to Ludwen once I’m back home. Just to visit you. You’ll have to let me know when you’re back, I’ll bring Erin too.”

It was strange, to live so long and have so few offspring. Perhaps that was just a difference in how their bodies worked, perhaps it was a blessing. She couldn’t imagine living for thousands and thousands of years and having dozens of children. The world would be covered in elven broods if they functioned any other way. She laughed quietly and shrugged. “My clients always liked the sound… I suppose it made them feel safer, knowing I was wearing enchanted bracelets to compensate… but rings or earrings or even tattoos work just as well. The last one’s a little more permanent and I… still hold out hope.” She smiled softly, glancing away. “How would you feel about helping bring a little of the Nightshade here though? Erin and I are looking to throw a party and you would be invited… and we could also use your help getting my staff here.”

~

“I’m sure Vae would love a good party if he isn’t busy. If he is, I do know someone who might be able to help.The same umbramage that helped me arrive at Rajayer so quickly following the attack.” Erinwel had cashed in a favor that night for the short notice trip but he was certain the young mage would be more than willing to work for coin. 

He listened intently while Cat spoke about her past. A past that she had only just discovered the full truth of herself. A surprised look shot across his face at the news it was the Earl himself who had fathered Catlina. He squeezed her hand gently as she spoke, though his emotions were far from gentle. Anger burning at the truth of her mother turning her onto the streets before deceiving the very family it sounded like she had sequestered Cat away from. He echoed her curses thrown at the woman who birthed her, but his own return came in Vaisherra. “Jahl tevwyn vaidas lune rathis hywen.” He threw back the rest of his drink before explaining. “May the soil find even your corpse unfit to devour. Learned that one when I was enlisted. Worst thing you could wish onto someone there apparently. How did you even come to find this out? You said Ainsley told- oh shit is Ainsley your…” He trailed off coming to a sudden realization of what that would mean.

Erin shifted lower on the couch to her height as she rested on him so her head was actually able to sit on his shoulder. He couldn’t help the smile that pulled his features at Cat’s aptitude for political forethought; detailing the benefits of taking a title. An alliance between the Red Keep and Rajayer hadn’t even crossed his mind.  “I should have named you my political advisor when I had the chance. You’ve really thought this through.” If she wasn’t granted a title in Juaqoan, then there was always the Elysian title. “Did the Amaranthes give you a deadline to claim?”

-

“It might not be our best party… considering we’ll have to throw it together in a few days but it’ll certainly be a good one. If all this can come together.” Catlina noted, shaking her head. She hated thinking about the attack and all of the carnage and disaster. She hadn’t asked what he’d done to get to Rajayer so quickly after the attacks, or even how he’d known. She supposed someone must have passed word in a very similar way to how he’d gotten there. “I was really grateful when you were there… by the way.” She murmured.

There had been so much heartbreak, so much she’d learned about her past and the things she’d fallen into since the ball that she was certain her life was at some kind of tipping point. And after the recent visit from Avi and their conversations, she was starting to realize that her old life had entirely ended the night of the ball. She had left a corpse of who she was behind, the woman who had always mourned not knowing her mother, the woman who was sure her life would amount to a small house on a remote island and little more, the woman who had sold herself just to survive. Catlina had left all of that in Glasswater. “Well said…” She paused, biting her bottom lip. Sucking her teeth, she nodded. “Yea… fucked my sister. I’m sure once the shock settles… Avi will find that bit hilarious.” She took a deep breath, shaking her head slightly. “At least we’re sisters and couldn’t have produced any children… the gods do have a sense of humor but they aren’t cruel.”

“Well… fairly soon we can just work together as representatives from different nations. We’ll help each other… an unofficial alliance.” She smiled, she was grateful for that too. Being able to turn to Erin for political questions and relying on him in some ways outside of business… she was incredibly glad that he was her family. “They didn’t…. but Ainsley did mention if I wanted to meet my half brother… I should do so soon before… well before I can’t.”

“I could be an option, if you want it.  I’m not sure what your timeline is here.  I can help you pack up the rest of it until you’re satisfied, but that can come later,” he said, rubbing along her back with a newfound vigor.  It was like he’d been functioning in a haze since the eclipse.  Still functioning but on automatic - captaining, making reports, making rote decisions, absorbing new information.  But seeing Catlina made him actually feel alive again.  

It was for the better, too.  He hadn’t required his emotions this week.   If he’d embraced the tragedy of Bhimyar and the stress of his people and the horror of Cailean, and most importantly, the loss of Rhiss - he might’ve faltered at some point.  But he’d reserved his feelings for the only person he trusted with them.  And now she wasn’t going anywhere, except with him.  

They had time.  Avi was so overjoyed and relieved to see Catlina, yet somehow he managed to remind himself: they had time, now.

“I was in Juaqoan as well, we missed each other,”  Avi murmured, breathing her in, eyes closed.  He wasn’t upset about it; after all they were together now.  And they both went to Juaqoan for very different reasons, it was better that they were separate.  “Only makes our reuniting here more poignant, doesn’t it.”

Avi kissed along her face constantly, but he was listening as she described the heart of the Empire.  “Intimidating, yes.  Soon you’ll visit it enough times to appreciate the majesty of it, too.”  To Avi, the palace was an architectural wonder that rivaled the beauty of elven-made structures.  But he didn’t want to gush about buildings right now, and he just nodded, satisfied to hear Cat’s business ventures were fruitful.  “I’m so proud of you, Cat.”

Once they reclined on her bed,  Avi propped his head in his hand, turned towards Catlina.  He couldn’t stop touching her, hand running along her curves and slopes,  He didn’t undress her though - too much had happened, and he wanted to talk.

A sign of their settling in together, Avi thought warmly.  Not that he didn’t want to ravish her, but that physical need was tempered by other cravings: for her presence and conversation and love expressed in other ways.

“I told you, the priestesses of Kata, who could bless you as one of her true avatars, as one of her daughters…thus proving your right to reign in Rajayer to the people.  Did I tell you?”  Avi squinted, smirking slightly as he peered at Catlina.  “Or perhaps I just thought it all and believed you could read my thoughts.  Anyway - we shall go.  I’ll explain the ritual on the way, I want you to do this.  It will be nourishing for you as well, I promise.”

Avi kissed her then, slow and soft.  There was so much to tell her, but first - he caught her before Cat hopped off the bed.  “She planned you a party!  No - no we can stay for that.  So long as it’s only a few hours and not a 5-day festivity or anything.  I’d understand if it was, for their impeccable madame,”  Avi smiled, tugging Catlina back down.  He snuggled against her, kissing at her collarbone as he rolled her on top of him.  

“We’ll celebrate you at your party, then we’ll to leave for the temple.  It’s a bit of a sail, so once you’ve been blessed, we’ll head straight to Rajayer.  You know I can just arrange for all your belongings to be shipped down and meet us there.  Back…home,”  Avi said it, but even for him the word was odd.  Rajayer - the realm - was his home and he was proud of it.  But he hadn’t thought about living in the capital, in Rajayer Keep as his personal home.  Not in a long time.  

“Everything feels like it’s moving both so fast and too slow at the same time,” he commented, running a lock of Cat’s hair along his face, like a brush.  “Part of me just wants to barricade us in here and not emerge for weeks.  But another part of me can’t wait to get to Rajayer.  Finally, the both of us in our new home.  Together.”

-

Catlina stared up at Avitej, searching, trying to decipher if that was the best thing for all of them. She wondered too, if that was what he was comfortable with, or if he was throwing the idea at her because he didn’t want her to live alone. In some ways, it seemed rather sudden. They had only just gotten engaged and even though they’d been lovers and friends for ten years, they had only very recently been that vulnerable with each other. “Would that be alright?” She asked quietly, “I know it isn’t the proper thing or tradition or anything like that… but… are you comfortable with me living with you so soon?” In truth, Catlina didn’t care that much for tradition outside of how it affected Avitej. But she did care about his comfort and his wants and needs.

He’d been in Juaqoan within days of when she was there and somehow they hadn’t run into each other. They’d visited the capital for very different reasons but she found some sense of hope and even righteousness in the fact that they’d both been led to the same place at the same time. They were crossing paths and ending up in the same places, even without communicating that’s where they were. And the more she thought about it, the more she was sure she was meant to be by his side from then on. She giggled softly as his lips roamed her face, her hands pressed gently against either side of his neck. “Mmm… just like us… two ships in the night… only we always seem to dock at the same shores.” She smirked, “Or you within mine.”

That was strange and new too, the feeling that flooded her, squeezing her heart and overfilling it at the same time. Proud of her?  She buried her face against his neck, pushing back the overwhelming sense of accomplishment, of joy. No one had ever told her they were proud of her, she’d had no one to even make them proud. Yet here he was, with everything they’d been through and everything they wanted spread in front of her, and he was still giving her things she never thought she could actually have. “Gods, I love you.” She murmured, pressing light kisses to his collarbone as she blinked back hot tears. She felt foolish for crying, but she felt foolish for not considering before that was something she wanted – to make him proud.

As they lay together, she traced his jawline with her fingers, grazing his skin gently, as if she wanted to memorize him again and again. She did this often, taking note of any new scratch or scar, any new wrinkle, how full or shaven his beard was. She scooted closer, so she was just under him, her fingertips dragging slowly down his neck, tenderly brushing against the scars Kirian had given him, as if making sure those hadn’t gone away either. “I missed you so much while I was in Vailen. I can handle it and I know I can but… you give me strength, primka.” She would never diminish herself or what she’d accomplished in her life but she had also found that through all of her deals and negotiations, keeping him in the back of her mind, the knowledge that he believed in her, it had bolstered her. Because if she believed in herself, and he believed in her, there wasn’t anything she couldn’t do. The world wouldn’t stop her.

She smiled and nodded, “You did tell me… at least some. I just… I guess I thought it would be a longer process?” Getting an audience with the priestesses, convincing them to let her into their temple to participate in an ancient tradition to prove she was a chosen of Kata… Catlina had thought it might take weeks, months even, before they made headway on it.

He caught her before she could dash off and she sunk down against him, “In the morning then?” She smirked, it was already evening anyway. “So we can enjoy ourselves tonight and be rested before we do sail?” She was tempted to start their own sort of celebration right them, straddling his legs. She leaned against him, chest to chest, elbows propped on either side of his as she gazed up at him. It was the most logical plan, too. Having a night of revelry and rest, then packing her things onto his ship and calling for the rest later. She had considered the Nightshade her home by proxy, perhaps, through the people that worked there with her. Gemina and Erinwel and all of her staff. They had been her home for so long. She would be sad not to see them and would miss them but she was meant for a different life now. A life with Avitej.

Catlina gaped at Avitej, clad in one of her frillier outfits. He’d stretched it to its limit trying to get into it. “When you put it that way...” She laughed, a hearty, bellowing laugh from deep in her belly. Thank Kata the waist was just tied so it hadn’t snapped. He wasn’t a large man by any stretch but he still dwarfed her slight frame. And the top... well that had been more of a squeeze. Padded cups made of a soft red fabric with sequins and gold trim, matching the different reds and golds of the layered chiffon skirt. Thank the gods the top tied too. Though really, she could always just have another made.

“When I said you’d look better than me in it I didn’t mean you should challenge me.” She laughed again, drawing near him to reach around and deftly untie the top around his neck. With a giggle, she untied the bottom strings and pulled it from him, tossing it aside.

…

Avi walked straight into Catlina’s embrace, picking her up.  He crushed her tightly against him, one arm under her shoulderblades, the other around the curve of her ass as he walked them right back into her chambers. He dotted her skin with kisses, only releasing her finally when he half-tripped on a trunk in his path.

“This it?” Avi said, letting her slide off of him, as he looked at what could only be called packing.  He quickly took in the sight - what she was packing, and how she did it.  “So soon?  Are you planning to come with me?” he teased her, but he was smiling at the thought.  Because in a way, it only solidified what he’d been thinking about, for their next step.

But for now, Avi cupped Catlina’s jaw, tilting her mouth up so he could kiss it.  “Thank the gods you’re safe.  I’ve heard you’ve been busy in Juaqoan,” he murmured as he nuzzled against her face.  “An audience with the Boadais themselves, no less.  What’d you think?” he asked, wanting Catlina to be impressed by the majesty of the Empire’s heart.  He assumed she’d been there to report her trade successes, which Avi considered both remarkable and honourable of her.  He knew it had been her plan all along, as she’d explained to him.  It was just comforting to see her bring so true to her word, so uncorrupted by any external temptations between here and Vailen. 

Catlina Johar, in direct service to the Empire.    The notion filled Avi with pride.

“Listen, my love.  I don’t know how you want to go about doing this, but I want to do it as soon as possible,”  Avi took Catlina into her bedroom, where he flung himself backwards onto her bed (as if he owned it) and beckoned Catlina to join him.  

“I want us to travel to Tevi, to the Katajanya Temple.  We can return for all of this afterwards of course…I just think if we seek Kata’s guidance first, perhaps we’ll know what to do next.”  Avi watched Catlina carefully, knowing he wasn’t mincing words.  She was habitually a direct person; she’d already told him what she planned to do next.   And she tended to balk under someone else’s directness.

So he slid his arm around her waist and added hopefully,  “What do you think?”

-

Feverish and solid and necessary, he felt like home and he felt like adventure and stability and shivers and he was exactly what her heart, her body, her mind, every part of her would always run to. He calmed her in ways nothing else could and he lit a fire within her too. She smirked, her lips against his when he took note of the trunks. “That’s it… I pack light.” She chuckled but being with him meant giving up more than just the Nightshade. It meant giving up all of the things that went along with it. And it meant starting fresh and she imagined the Rajayan residences were already furnished and much nicer than what she owned. And whatever apartment she ended up in wouldn’t be lived in for very long, hopefully. So it just made the most sense to not bring much. “Is that an option?” Another smile as she slid back but still in his arms, “I’m just prepared… all of this is staying…” She gestured to the furniture, realizing she should probably give it all a thorough deep clean before passing it off to Gemina.

She hummed as they kissed, brushing her fingers through his hair. “Word travels fast, then. I’m hopeful though…” She settled her hand against the side of his neck, sighing quietly, contentedly. What had she thought? She had been so focused on getting her message through, and her intentions, that she hadn’t let the nerves and anxieties settle in until after they’d dismissed her. But without that drive, without that single-minded need to make them hear her out, she would have been shaking where she’d stood. “I was intimidated like… nothing I’ve ever known…” She looked up at him, lips pursed. “I’ve sent the first shipment off with merchants. To cover the initial costs and whether they approve my requests or not, the rest will be dispersed to the people here and a small portion sold to Elysi to maintain costs… but…” She breathed, shaking her head. “We can talk business later. I missed you.”

She smirked, raising her brow as he plopped onto the bed. She wasn’t sure exactly what he was referring to but just as he had little knowledge for business talk, she had little knowledge of the little talked about rituals of Loqoala. “Katajyana…. Right.” She nodded, linking their fingers together and slipping into the bed beside him. “Right… right now?” She leaned up, starting to realize what he meant. It would be a chance for answers. But leaving Illasqa already?

@vixenandviper​

Avitej stood on the dock that led towards the Nightshade.  He pushed his long-coat back, his good hand on his canted hip.  He took the time to survey the building, not so far away.  Music, lilting and uplifting, drifted towards Avi, along with those familiar scents from the flower gardens.  Jasmine and frangipani, blending with the night air, and sea salt.  

In many ways, through his 30s, he liked to tell Cat that the Nightshade felt as much like his home as the Makara did.  It wasn’t Rajayer.  Only his ship, and this brothel.  And although Avi would always be married to the sea, he’d come to realize that it wasn’t the Nightshade that was like his home.

It was Catlina Johar.

He strode towards the building, expecting Catlina to be where she usually was - at the steps just off to the side of the main entrance, her own private way to her boudoir.   Perched outside in her soft chiffons and silks and waiting for him, as she always did.  Avi paused at one of the windows, where he’d spotted Cat for the first time.  

Still whitewashed and pristine, but a different glass in the frame now.  Prettier, more expensive.  Just as the Nightshade was over all - prettier, more expensive.  The Shrieking Clam was a lost memory that no one cared about, save for those who stilled worked the establishment.

“Catlina?” Avi called softly, heading forward.  “Darling, I’ve arrived.”

-

So it was done. She had gone to the Baodais, petitioned her case, and she’d sorted the goods in the warehouse and merchants would be there within the next day or two to pick up the grain and vegetables and even some rice and disperse it further. And after all was said and done, the Baodais had told her she would have an answer in a week. She had even leveraged her unclaimed Elysian title, which had piqued their interest, and that had moved them enough to tell her she would have an answer at the end of the week and not ‘when they got around to discussing it’.

Either way, she would be a Lady after their decision came through. Either by her claiming a title under the Red Keep, or the Baodais granting her one of her own. And she had leveraged the goods too. The merchants would get the first shipment, but if they agreed to give her what she wanted, three fourths of all of the shipments would be dispersed directly to the people. The remaining fourth would be enough to cover shipping costs and maintaining the warehouses and her ships and crew and her new employees.

And she would give up the Nightshade. And the staff. She would no longer be their protector, their caretaker. She was getting her heart’s truest desire but she would miss them. She would miss all of them.

She heard his voice come through not from the pearl but the back room as she was staring at the trunks she’d packed. They were filled with clothes and the gifts he’d given her over the years. Nothing more. She’d have little need for anything else afterward. All of the furniture, unless it was something Avi or Eri had given her, it would stay. There was music and candles blazing and torches lit, the courtyard and the baths were filled with her staff and their customers. And still she slipped quietly out the back door, reaching for him before she’d even stepped close enough. Was this how it would be from then on? Missing him entirely when they were apart and feeling the sea crash over her again and again every time they reunited? “Oh Avi…” She whispered, burying her head into his chest as they pulled each other into an embrace.

…

“Maybe Gemina wants to start a family of her own,”  Avi mused, trying not to let his own biases obfuscate Catlina’s own soft musing.  She was only teasing, he reminded himself.  It was fun to dream like this with her, in ways that they’d never allowed themselves to do before.  The future between them had always remained unspoken between them.  In case Avi had to leave, or Catlina had to end things.  But now they’d decided on a future together.  So to indulge in whimsy like Gemina being a nanny, was just part of the newfound fun.  

Just fun.  Catlina couldn’t possibly actually entertain the idea of having another prostitute in Rajayer Keep, as a nanny to their children.  Not that Avi minded, of course he didn’t….but he knew exactly how it would look to others.

The irony being the Kumara history books, records of harems before his parents or grand-parents’ time.  Kasair and Mejai were the last to keep small harems, and for their ancestors, it was a normal practice.  He knew his grandparents had ceased the concept and struck it from the Kumara lifestyle, adhering to more chaste styles of marriage.  Fidelity and a much stricter definition of what marriage sanctity meant, with little room for mutations. Very Elysian.  It frustrated Avitej, to lose Rajayan noble culture for the sake of cross-national homogeny; but also there were too many generations between him and history, for him to know how to change things even if he wanted to.  

But he was digressing.

He laughed, instead, about Erin.  “I think he’d be terrible,” he crowed.  “Therefore we must unleash the children on him, always.  Watch him beg for mercy under their vies for his attention.  He would love it.”

Warmly, Avi added,  “Darling, you’d look stunning and captivating next to anyone, of any height.  You’re no one’s accessory.”

He hummed lowly as Catlina explained away visions by the use of hallucinogens and alcohol during the eclipse, conjuring up images in Avi’s mind of elves careening about, having visions willy-nilly.  Avi didn’t like it; there seemed to be a ring of untruth in Catlina’s explanation, but Avi had no way of pointing this out.  So he settled on accepting her explanation for now, reassured at least by the news of her and Erin being alone on their rooftop, during the eclipse.

“I’m glad he was there with you, when you fainted,”  Avi said, truly grateful it was Erin and no one else in Vailantis. “He ended up being right - the roof was the safest place for you.”  He almost damned the eclipse, but held his tongue before the cursed words fell from his lips.

“I suppose, yes.  I should’t be so self-aggrandizing,” he said with a grudging acceptance.  “It is good to know the rebels don’t seem to have much influence in elven land.  Which surprises me, because if anyone could plan over a millennia, it would be elves.  Perhaps they simply find more traction in us short-lived humans.”

But the important matter of Catlina leaving the Nightshade, washed away any of Avi’s concerns about rebels.  He frowned, intensely disliking the idea of Catlina being in Rajayer, but not installed with him in Rajayer Keep.  Just…keeping a house somewhere in the city, or where-ever.  Why did that seem more salacious than her actually living in the Keep, even if they were unmarried?  If she was in Rajayer, she should be with him, in Rajayer.  In his Rajayer.  

But on the other hand, she was doing this to be closer to him.  Cat could’ve moved anywhere - she could’ve even taken to her small island somewhere, and waited there.  But the thought of her separated from him by ocean was unbearable.  The Nightshade was a familiar enough port, but it wasn’t like Avi had the time any longer to jaunt up to Illasqa as constantly as he wanted to be with Catlina.  

Of course she’d decided on her own to just come live in Rajayer, set up herself comfortably and wait in the city, conducting her new trade business from there.  Of course she’d planned it all out herself, because it was the next logical step to take.  She’d taken herself to Vailantis, she couldn’t return to a brothel after such a lucrative, life-altering trip.  Of course.  It all made sense.  It was all correct, it was all completely logical steps.  

But it still bothered Avi immensely, nonetheless.  It was Catlina’s logic, not his. Before their engagement, Avi never interfered in Catlina’s plans.  But now that they were engaged, he couldn’t decide if he had a say or not. Even if, in concept, her plans were ideally to suit them both.   

‘We’ll figure it out together’ she had assured him, but what did he need to figure out, when she had done all the figuring out already?  Avi couldn’t expect Catlina Johar to sit around, waiting for her life (and it was her life, separated from his) to be discussed when it finally occurred to him that they needed to plan.  She defined her own independence.  She always kept herself five steps ahead.

Even of him, it seemed.

Just in case it all fell apart, and Cat needed a way out, Avi supposed.  Survival.

He had to think on it later.  For now, he just gave a noncommittal grunt at Cat’s question (because it was true, no permission needed from him) and then grunted again - softer, this time - at her promise to visit a doctor.  

“Thank you, darling.”  He paused, and smiled.  “Tell me again, that you love me. I’ll never grow tired of hearing it.”

-

Catlina smiled a bit, her lips slipping into a slow grin as she chuckled. “Oh darling... I think we might have used up all of the luck of the Nightshade when we found each other. She’ll never find someone worthy to start a family with if she stays.” Catlina hummed for a moment, “But I already taught her how to run the Nightshade… and someone has to. So I suppose it will be up to her what she does with her life now.” It wasn’t hard to run it, as long as Gemina kept the customers happy in pricing and kept the staff safe she’d have no problem. She did hope that whatever happened to it now, it wouldn’t fell into disrepair or become another version of the Shrieking Clam. Catlina had run a tight ship, even in the midst of debauchery. She wanted to think Gemina would too.

“Fine, yes… we’ll just make Erin our nanny. I wonder if he can use that to get out of his council duties…” She laughed again, trying to imitate a masculine voice, “Sorry everyone but I’m needed as a nanny in Rajayer. I’m retiring from representation and going to live out my years there.” She took a slow breath, trying not to laugh again. She wondered about that too, what would happen with their paths now that Erin had decided to fight for the common man and to try… with whatever tools he had at his disposal… to avoid another instance like Glasswater. She wondered how often she’d be able to see him, how often they’d get to even speak. The thought made her a little sad that they would be apart from then on. Once she was back in Loqoala, her path with Erin would split.

The visions she’d seen were becoming little more than a passing memory, it had been hours since she’d had them and she’d slept so deeply afterwards. Perhaps… hopefully… it had merely been a result of too much wine and too much stress and working herself ill. And she wanted to tell him but… how could she even explain that’s what had happened when she didn’t understand it herself? She had already resolved to tell him once they were physically together and she had a few days to think on them, to make some sense of them… perhaps to even pray and ask Kata for some kind of clarity. If they were anything more than a side effect of being hungover. And she wasn’t convinced they were anything but that.

She smiled again and clicked her tongue, “Well… the safest place here at least. I would have much preferred The Nightshade or your bed.” She did chuckle again then, a bit wickedly. “Especially with you in it too, under sheets, skin to skin. You know how those things go.”

Catlina hadn’t put too much thought into how the rebels had gotten a foot in the door of Glasswater and not in Vailen. She knew there were others all around the human realms but the Vae had seemed to keep them at bay. Perhaps it was their democratic system of leadership that allowed every person to feel like they had a greater responsibility or representation or some such nonsense. But perhaps… they were just better at keeping it secret. “I… I don’t know… perhaps humans simply forget… being shorter lived we don’t hold grudges through the generations as much, I suppose… so it’s easy to forget if someone wronged your great great great… whatever ancestors than if they’d done something similar to you a few centuries prior… I don’t know.” But she’d find out. At least, she’d find out what she could while she was there. She would try, at least.

Avi was silent for a long while and Catlina began to worry if she’d upset him somehow. She didn’t want that to be hanging between them, not when they were so close to being able to start everything together. And perhaps her moving to Rajayer before they were officially married was the wrong thing, but she had no way of knowing what the proper courtly customs were. She hadn’t had the time to talk to Rhiss and ask for her help in learning such things and Avi didn’t have the time to help her either. Back peddling and removing her idea from the mix wasn’t an option either and she had her heart set on being closer to him anyway. So perhaps just explaining herself was the best route to take, and offering a compromise. “It will take a while to pack and find somewhere, though…” She began, “So I’m open to changing… I don’t… I don’t know what the proper custom would be for a betrothed and where they should live before we’re married. Considering I’m not of any noble…. Well… I don’t have a castle I can live in until we are and a brothel isn’t appropriate… and I…” She took a breath, “I want to be closer to you.” She stood then, moving to the bed once more, still feeling utterly drained. Tucking herself in, she pulled the pearl to her lips and whispered, “I love you so much.”

…

“Fourth or fifth, hm?”  Avi replied, eyes brightening at the prospect.  Suggested by Catlina herself, no less.  It may’ve just been a joke, Catlina trying to lighten the bleak mood; but the fact that she mentioned that many potential babies meant she’d also been fantasizing about it as much as he had.  He was always  the one with all the outrageous romantic notions between them, tempered by her fiery realism.  To hear her talk about fourth or fifth meant that pragmatic mind of hers met in the middle with his dreamy ideals.

“Don’t speak any more of it, not aloud. I don’t want to curse us with prideful ways,” he said it happily, but in a rush.  Partially because he didn’t want to scare her, and partially because Avi didn’t want to anger the gods any more than he felt he’d already done.  Although she didn’t seem it, Catlina could get jittery about certain ideas.  Things that made her emotionally fraught from the raw pain of her past, or the feeling of losing control.  Avi knew better than to harp on any one thing, in case she decided to backtrack, if only curb his enthusiasm to allay her own anxiety.

“But I will say - if you want tall, just hope they take after my Kumara side.  My mother’s side were all short like me.”  He was smiling though.  Despite all the hardship he’d faced today, Avi was finally, genuinely smiling.  It felt good.  Something to work for, something to centre himself around.

Once she was back.  It was a loaded statement; another thing Avi didn’t want to talk about too much, in case they cursed it.

So when Catlina switched to asking about Kata, his breath caught in his throat, waiting for her to say it.  To say the goddess was angry at them - at him specifically, for engaging himself to Catlina.  That what they were doing was wrong, and against the will of the gods.  Or beloved Kata, specifically.

Instead, Catlina asked if Kata was just…busy.  “What visions?  How do you know about any visions, Catlina.” Avi’s brow furrowed as Catlina mentioned the rebel’s opportunity to attack while the gods’ eyes were averted elsewhere.

“By Kata’s grace,”  Avi breathed.  “You know what this implies?  That the rebels have that much power,  that they are so well organized enough to know how to…distract a god in order to carry out their nefarious plans this eclipse.  Who knows what else they’ve done today.  I’m only getting reports trickling in, the attack on Bhimyar is the worst I’ve heard so far. There could be more.”

Voice thick with a bitter, horrified sadness, Avi closed his eyes.  “And these rebels have already crippled Glasswater effectively.  So why not also now know how to control the gods, to suit their needs.”

He opened his eyes again, at Catlina’s offer to meet in Illasqa, but what she added was what really perked him back up.  “Wait.  You’re leaving the Nightshade?  To do what?  Where will you…oh.”  ‘We’ll figure it out when we’re together’.  Avi exhaled, staring out to sea.  “Oh. Yes. Good.”

-

It was a joke, but it was also a hope she had long held close to her chest. Catlina had never thought there was a possibility of children in her life, even if she had always hoped for them. So with the two of them accepting their relationship and wanting it to be more, she could let herself dream. Just as he was. “At least.” She murmured with a soft laugh. “Perhaps I can convince Gemina to be a nanny, do you think she would? She might have a talent for that…” She didn’t know how many they would be blessed with or how many her body would allow her to have, but she hoped for at least a few. Perhaps not enough to crew a ship… but maybe enough for a sailboat.

“You’re right.” She smiled against the pearl again, closing her eyes and leaning against the brick wall. “There’s a plan for us, I’m sure of it. Best not give the gods any other ideas. We’ll have exactly as many as we’re meant to.” Commitment, change, especially suddenly, were things she was jittery about. But family, the prospect of having one, that had been her dearest wish since she was a child. And it might not be happening in the ways she’d have ever thought but she was no less excited for it. “Do you think Erin would make a good godfather whenever we do… start a brood?” She was sure of that too, though she wanted his opinion. Erin, even if he might not understand parenting, would likely love those children fervently and fiercely. “I think you’re the perfect height. Can you imagine me with anyone taller? I’d look like a doll. And not in any fun way.”

“Oh you know, these elves… they have all sorts of substances that send them on trips… I hear rumors and tales of unofficial activities.” It wasn’t exactly a lie, she’d heard plenty of tales about the debauchery elves could actually get up to when they had little else to do. Their long lifespans allowed them to really take their time drinking, doing drugs, fucking, and with the right encouragement, she had gotten a few of them to open up to her. Outside of Vaeril and Erinwel, at least. And she hadn’t had a chance to talk to anyone since she’d had hers, so perhaps she had drank too much wine and perhaps some had been laced with something they hadn’t realized. There was no reason why she had to be concerned in the first place. And she regretted bringing it up at all. “You’ve been to some of their parties… they apparently last for ages. Some of them were already a bit out of their minds, raving about gods. Many of them took to their homes to hide out… Eri and I were here, on the roof actually. Drinking. He said it’d be the safest place.”

Catlina pressed a hand to her forehead. That was the opposite of what she meant. She hadn’t meant to stoke more fears for Avi, only assuage his anxieties that he’d angered the gods somehow. “I don’t think any of us have the power to draw the gods’ attentions if they weren’t already turning their gaze to us, love. Not even an Archduke… not even an emperor.” She, for whatever it was worth, had always felt either entirely ignored, or guided by Kata. But never had she felt that she’d drawn her wrath. And she didn’t feel that way now, but she could recognize that her own feelings were making her biased. “It seems, at least, their influence in Vailen is relatively minimal. But their grudge is against those with means and money and power… and the elves are elected, even if there is nepotism at work. Perhaps they feel less oppressed in a system like that…”

Pulling a blanket around her shoulders, Catlina smiled and nodded though he couldn’t see her. “Yes, it’ll take a little while but I’ll be packing up once I get back. Then… I suppose I’ll find a place somewhere nearer Rajayer? In the city, perhaps? If that’s alright?” She didn’t truly need his permission and she was planning on finding a place in Rajayer anyway, but she wanted to be open with him about her plans. “And I’ll go see a doctor once the elves reopen their shops here… just to be safe.”

𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐀  (  @vixenandviper  )  ,    

     some  time  has  passed  since  the  ball  now  and  i  find  myself  in  the  most  interesting  of  places  ,  loqoala.  i  have  always  considered  the  eastern  isles  your  domain  ,  yet  when  i  finally  make  a  visit  it  seems  you  are  nowhere  to  be  found  .  .  .  a  pity  for  you  because  i  am  about  to  tell  you  something  that  i  am  sure  you  would  relish  even  more  in  person.  

     thank  you.  i  will  not  specify  for  what  ,  you  know  what  you  did.  i’m  sure if  i  breathe  even  a  cleverly  worded  thing  about  it  ,  our  mutual  friend  would  be  disappointed  in  his  new  hire.  and  you  should  thank  the  pretty  little  thing  that  told  me  where  to  send  my  letter.  without  her  ,  you  would  not  be  reveling  in  seeing  thank  you  in  my  handwriting.  

     i  hope  you  have  cared  for  that  eye  properly.  i  would  hate  to  hear  of  my  only  competition  bed  ridden  with  infection.  at  least  the  bastard  who  did  that  met  his  end.  it’s  truly  a  wonder  that  a  brave  stranger  found  and  saved  us  from  all  of  those  rebels.  how  would  have  two  lowly  women  escaped  with  their  heads  without  such  a  savior? 

     i  have  business  to  attend  to  while  i  am  in  loqoala  ,  but  i  will  be  returning  to  the  dovecote  eventually.  you  may  send  word  there  if  you  feel  so  inclined.  

𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐘  𝐎𝐔𝐓  𝐎𝐅  𝐓𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐁𝐋𝐄  ,                                                                  𝓬𝓮𝓬𝓲𝓵𝔂  

-

            As shocked as I am to see you write that, I think I might have died on the spot if I’d heard you say it. So it’s probably best this way. At any rate, my gratitude is due as well. I wouldn’t have made it out of Glasswater if not for you. I’d say we’re even now but that’s never really the case, is it?

               Feels like it’s been years already. I won’t bore you with the details of my life, darling, I’m sure you have better things to do anyway than to read about my adventures. But yes, I’ve been in Vailen. If things go to plan, you’ll have far less competition in half of your work. Although if I’m being honest, you haven’t had competition from me for years, I’ve just been looking over my staff.

               I will say that someone brave and willing to put themselves at risk to help someone they’ve always had a healthy sense of competition with deserves a good life with a person who fills their heart as well as their body. You know in which ways I mean and I mean them all honestly.

               I won’t be long in Vailen and if you have messages you need to pass to our mutual friend that might be best met with a large dose of discretion, I’ll be returning to the Nightshade for a while soon.