The Tuna Are Invading

time loop with two people in it but one person refuses to acknowledge the loop and pretends to be looping with everyone else. meanwhile the other person is freaking out

i am. quite high rn and unreasonably delighted by the little pride flags that appear when u like queer posts. that shit is so cute

And if you’re into women and worried about what women will think if you’re not “manly enough”, my question to you is, why would you settle for someone who wants to talk you back into your cage?

My toxic trait is that no matter what I need three hours to myself at the end of the day to do absolutely nothing.

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

so fucking stupid that meds literally work. "swallow this pebble it makes you think" hateful

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

I love characters who would die for each other but will not, under any circumstances, communicate a single honest feeling.

another reason this is the only social media site i give a fuck to actually use is because you're allowed to add links to text instead of just having to paste a url into the body of your post like some kind of caveman.

somebody cut and pasted the wrong leg onto this cat

That’s just a sleeve tattoo