account for the horny parts of my life

you think it's over for a moment when she lifts up her foot, giving you just a second to breathe a sigh of relief.

then she lands the first kick. it's deep, quick and painful, like being jabbed with a blunt object. you groan without meaning to. another shot to your sides, hard enough to topple you over this time. you can hear how much she loves it when she giggles at your body curling into the fetal position. she snaps at you to get on your back, punctuating the demand with a kick to your thighs.

you don't realize you've been squeezing your eyes shut until she bends down to strike your face and ask if you're still awake. she's always been a sucker for the fear in your eyes, and you know it. this time, you watch her lift her leg and expect the worst, body tensing on instinct. she lands the sole of her boot in the lower center of your stomach and you let out a sound you didn't even know your body could make, a guttural and low moan full of both lust and anguish.

then you feel it.

the heel of her boot now, digging directly into your bladder. by now, you usually know better than to tell her to stop, but the new and intense sensation causes you to whimper and rasp out pleas for mercy. you stumble over your words as you pointlessly repeat chants of "please, stop, I don't want to make a mess, you'll be mad at me, please stopstopstop-" until you break. until you feel the warmth spread through your underwear and down your legs, puddling underneath your ass.

Right now my dog, canine, is sitting on the couch with her head propped against the couch arm. The window is open, and she's watching the rain fall. Occasionally, a car will pass and her ears will perk to listen to the rumble of the motor. She hasn't moved in an hour and a half. Before this she woke just long enough for me to feed her a bite of food from my fingers I know she shouldn't have.

Later, she'll get agitated when a delivery driver approaches the neighbor's door. Her anxiety will spike. Her ears will go back, and I will see the bark build in her throat until...

She looks to me.

"Is this what you want?" The question isn't spoken with words, just a glance from worried eyes before I shake my head and she calms down.

I don't care, why should she? The driver, the stress, the anxiety, is all forgotten.

She'll sleep this way a good portion of the day, woken by my attention before she'll fall back asleep or find some new thing to quietly consider. I decide when it's time for her to eat, to go out. When it's time for her to be dressed in a warmer outfit. Her food decisions are made for her, nutrition balance and calorie needs something she never needs to consider.

When needed, communication is silent, non-verbal. A soft expression, a steady look. She knows I'll figure it out eventually if she just sits by the problem. (Water bowls empty, or toy on the wrong side of the door)

There's an extra spot on the couch next to her. Where another dog could curl up and watch the rain. Where a sweet puppy could take cues from the older dog and the calmness of her handler.

after taking a look i saw it, stabbing into her gum and starting to make her bleed, it was getting hard to talk and she was real anxious and asked if i could just take it out. now, i was a bit scared of hurting her pretty teeth, but i grabbed my leathermen and some 70% iso just to poke around, maybe i could clip the end?

i get my pliers in her mouth and i am getting distractingly horny, but i came here to focus and i get the wire in the jaws of my multi-tool and what providence, there's only one anchor still secured with adhesive.

i grip the wire firm and it moves her jaw which moves her head and she moans but stays so still as steel lightly clatters against her teeth, i pry it back and forth and POP! it breaks perfectly clean and my pliers are sailing towards the air wet with her saliva.

a second later i realized i moaned, i think she did too but i was so focused on not hurting her i instantly feel like a terrible person and realize im half hard. she thanks me profusely and says it's better now.

the thing is, when you have a safeword that you can say to stop the scene, anytime, you don’t really have no control. and i very much enjoy having no control.

it’s hard to replicate the true fear of trying to safeword and finding out that no, that’s not going to work. you aren’t going to get a break this time. im going to keep doing this until im done, and nothing you say can stop me.

just be warned if you want to try something like this, make sure to provide a lot of aftercare for anyone who agrees to do this to you; tell them that it was okay and hot and you loved it and that while sure, she did technically just rape you, you were totally asking for it, and that makes it okay.

sure, ignoring the safeword is a clear violation of trust, but if you’re fantasizing about someone ignoring your safeword you are literally rapebait, and one can’t trust bait, so it doesn’t matter if the bait trusts them back. the right thing for anyone having sex with you to do is slam their dick into your cute little hole no matter what you say otherwise.

especially if you’re a dog— animals can’t talk, so it would be breaking immersion to listen to anything you say. if you want the scene to be good, she has to ignore the safeword. and if you consent to it beforehand, its even technically okay!

she just needs you to consent to it. just let her rape you. its okay. its gonna be fine. you want this, don’t you? you totally want this.

though she does think its hotter if you think the safeword is going to work, so she needs to let you use it a few times first. that’ll get the real fear in your eyes. she got you to consent to it, right?

A needy sub will listen more readily, hanging on your every word in the hopes one of them will give them a path to release. A needy sub will likewise be much more responsive to touch, arching themselves back into your hands at every opportunity, learning how sensitive denial can make them. And, to their own great shame, a needy sub will more readily violate their own soft limits in the hopes of pleasing you. A needy sub is an easy one to train, especially once you’ve addicted them to your touch and attention. 

Some might even find themselves enjoying this heightened state of arousal more than the alternative. They grow to love the extra sensitivity it brings, or maybe they just enjoy how laser focused their minds become on my pleasure, my enjoyment.

You would think this is the perfect kink for me, but it never really clicked like others have.

I’ll spend the time learning their bodies, finding every sensitive spot it has to offer. I’ll allow them the joys of release frequently, watching them spend themselves across my hands or toys. I’ll make sure they’re covered in little love marks they’ll catch constantly in the mirror. Each one a reminder of a night of pleasure they still can’t get out of their head.

Once they’re addicted, I’ll spend the days, the weeks, teasing them day and night to build them to their highest point. I’ll learn every one of their tells so I can pull away at the last moment. Keeping them wound, keeping them aching. Denied everything but my touch.

I’ll teach them to beg.  I’ll teach them to lean on that burning core of heat in their bellies, to distance themselves from all the shame they might have had about vocalizing their desires. Until they openly plead with tears in their eyes to finally be granted permission. 

I let them.

“You’re doing so well for me, I’m so proud of you baby.  That’s it, cum for me. You’ve been so good for so long, sweet thing. There we go…” They shake, muscles spasming down their thighs and legs. Hands find my hair, or some other purchase, just needing something to anchor them in reality. They empty themselves out for me, finally getting to bask in the glow of something they’d worked so hard to reach. Something they’d earned.

It never takes long for them to realize that I haven’t stopped, even with the slick feeling of their satisfaction clinging to my fingers, I’ll keep going. I don’t care that they’ve cum, that their hyper sensitive body is twitching at every touch. I don’t stop just because they’re arching away from my touches, instinctively trying to escape the stimulation that’s overwhelming their thoughts.

They started the evening begging for what I now heap upon them in excess. More pleasure than their body and mind can handle. What were once cries of joy, shift into choked sobs and powerless whines. Tears pour openly from their eyes. Desperately they gasp for air, trying to fill their lungs so they can beg anew, trying to find some new combination of words that will finally make me stop. While I just keep pushing them. Past what they enjoy. Past what their body can handle. 

I’ll offer them an out, eventually. I’ll tell them it will stop if they promise to never cum again. Or maybe I’ll make them beg for the very toys that terrify them, savoring the way they struggle to think past the overstimulation. So desperate they’ll agree to anything just to make it stop.

I’ve always been a sadist at heart.

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after taking a look i saw it, stabbing into her gum and starting to make her bleed, it was getting hard to talk and she was real anxious and asked if i could just take it out. now, i was a bit scared of hurting her pretty teeth, but i grabbed my leathermen and some 70% iso just to poke around, maybe i could clip the end?

i get my pliers in her mouth and i am getting distractingly horny, but i came here to focus and i get the wire in the jaws of my multi-tool and what providence, there's only one anchor still secured with adhesive.

i grip the wire firm and it moves her jaw which moves her head and she moans but stays so still as steel lightly clatters against her teeth, i pry it back and forth and POP! it breaks perfectly clean and my pliers are sailing towards the air wet with her saliva.

a second later i realized i moaned, i think she did too but i was so focused on not hurting her i instantly feel like a terrible person and realize im half hard. she thanks me profusely and says it's better now.