a pιraтe'ѕ lιғe ғor мe

"You left me."

"You broke my heart!"

"I don’t love you."

"You’re beautiful when you smile."

"Don’t pout"

"Stop crying."

"You did this."

"I’m just a fuck up."

"Get out!"

"I think I accidentally walked into a gay bar."

"Don’t call me."

"I won’t call you."

"Call me."

"You’re making this harder than it has to be."

"I’m not breaking up with you."

"You’re breaking up with me."

"That’s so cliche."

"I think I’m sick."

"I’m a little drunk."

"Stop making this so hard."

"Are you following me?"

"There’s no such thing as a sexy bathroom."

"Stop being a wimp."

"I’m not ticklish."

"Stop touching me."

"If you poke me one more time, I’m going to punch you."

"I should hate you."

"On a scale from one to Romeo and Juliet, how bad was that story?"

"You can’t lie to me."

"This is the worst idea ever."

"This is stupid."

"You’re an idiot."

"You’re being ridiculous."

"I don’t eat chocolate."

"It’s just rain."

"I said no, that means no."

"Come watch the stars with me."

"It’s not a date."

"It’s totally a date."

"Your kiss is like poison."

"I’m not leaving this bed."

"I’m never showing my face to the outside world again."

"That was so embarrassing." 

"There’s so much idiocy in this room."

"You make it hard to breath."

"I want a pet."

"We could always just get wasted."

"Come play video games with me."

"Come have a Netflix date with me."

"Use protection!"

"Do you even hear what you’re saying?"

"Just shut up."

"I’m not good with small children."

"If I never teach my kids how to shoot a marshmallow shooter, I have failed as a parent."

"I’m pretty sure that’s my shirt."

"We could always just make out?"

"I have a date with an ice cream carton and on demand movies."

"Give me a chance. Or at least like, half a chance."

"You’re acting all Edward Cullen-ish, and it’s making me uncomfortable."

"We could always play truth or dare?"

"You’re on a roll tonight, aren’t you?"

"You’re a problem."

"I’d be so content with never seeing you again."

"I think I saw you in a dream once."

"If I had to choose between talking to you and having to eat a cup of screws, I’d probably still go with the screws."

"I didn’t mean to break it."

"I don’t know, but I probably had sex with him/her."

"Stop being a judgy asshole."

"I can’t control that!"

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