:^)

Feel bad for not driving my car a lot but my lifestyle doesn’t require a lot of driving. I drove it to my date yesterday bc it took half as long as taking public transit which was good, felt one with the machine, like the girl who forms a strange immediate bond with the horse at the back of the stable, an American angel who has gotten their wings

Crazy to have a car that’s not 20+ years old bc I see other people driving the same make and model and I’m always like O: but it’s really not that special or uncommon lmao

Think I'm going to skip book club lol. I'm tired and I don't feel like feeling like an idiot this morning

Had a date yesterday and trying to figure out how to or if I should say I don't want to have another one. I had a nice time walking around and yapping so it's not that it was bad, I don't know what I'm looking for I guess. I think the issue is due to the nature of it not being an organic meeting. We have to go out of our way to see each other again, and we have to do it soon and consistently in order to figure out if this is anything. But when you're doing that simultaneously with other people on top of living your own life, the idea feels exhausting, so it's tempting to just end it early and say "there's no spark". But tbh there will never be an immediate spark with a stranger, for me. "Hey I had a nice time and you seem nice but we both seem to have really busy schedules so idk if it's worth trying to fit each other in again" lmao idk. I don't think the nature of apps works and yet it's the only way I know how to meet people so I guess I'll continue