Small Curses for a Kind Heart
Use these curses for everyday grievances. For those who annoy you more than most. Curses for enemies should be bigger and carry more weight. Good luck, and may all your curses come true.
May every time they open their car door, something they need falls out
May they go to their car in the parking lot and find that the drivers side of the car next to them is about 6â too close for comfort every time
May their pet inexplicably have lotion on them
May their coffee always be slightly too hot when they try to drink it no matter how long they wait
May every disaster supervisor retire before the good staff leave
May the gas lamp that lights your way burn out and the person who lights it sting their fingers
May they bend and break every plastic straw they use but not notice until theyâre slurping 80% air 20% liquid
May every rubber band snap back into their face unexpectedly
May there always be a top eyelash stuck to their bottom eyelashes that they canât dislodge
May every movie they try to see have a slight audio delay that gets worse as the movie goes on but the employees donât get paid enough to care or fix it for the rest of their life
May they briefly misplace all their jewelry before finding it
May they get bonked by a pinecone
May every bag of chips they open be mostly crushed
May every bathroom they enter look like it has just enough toilet paper but then turns out to only have 3 squares less
May every doorknob they reach for be weirdly sticky
May a pet pee in their favorite shoes and they donât notice until their sock is wet
May a pen explode on their favorite shirt
May a child yell loudly whenever they are on the phone
