Untitled

“So there’s a black guy and 2 dead bodies. . .” sounds like the start of a politically incorrect joke or maybe even an “alleged” police report 😳 but it is neither ; twas the start of my day. This morning I attended the funeral of my Uncle (as much my Uncle as any man who has strolled this 🌎) & 2 things stuck with me.

The funeral/memorial, is SOLELY for the living. The pastor (remember, I’m weird) was more advertising than eulogizing. To be honest I could care less what your home church is, I ain’t in the mood to be solicited a membership into a home church. . . Blah blah yakkity smakkity : we are laying a loved one to rest bruh. The pastor was a blessing & I thank him for his words & time. I was not speaking negatively of the pastor, I feel the same about most pastor’s eulogizing. I probably somewhat explain with me 2nd takeaway.

The 2nd body. The 2nd takeaway. As I said, after the pastor’s initial prayer I continued staring at the ground while I simultaneously, ceased listening to the pastor as he began pontificating about one thing or another. Anyway, as I’m looking at the ground I notice a squad of 🐜 🐜🐜 & they are dismembering that 2nd body that I had mentioned. I do not claim to know the deceased 🦗 nor do I know his/her cause of 💀 but I do know that if nothing else . . . It served a purpose. At worst, 🦗 was food. Food for a multitude of 🐜🐜🐜 (amongst other things). At best, 🦗was food in 💀 & a good 🦗in life. If the latter is true, good ole 🦗was food in both life & death. The good energies that you project to others, the knowledge you share, the missteps that you speak upon, the responsibilities that you both create & fulfill . . . Each of these things are types of food & a life well spent is a life feeding others these “good meals.” Feed someone. Feed someten. Give something to someten who cannot give something to you (you may need to read that a few more times). My Unc wasn’t a millionaire but he fed ppl on the daily : sometimes with a kind word, sometimes with a hilariously random remark but regardless. . . He fed ppl. Go cook & remember the recipe.

I grew up in the 80’s : age of 📼, Power Pads, Jheri’s curl & tighty whities. My mom has 5 sons, I’ve seen my share of the tightys. One of my mom’s biggest gripes with her youngest 4 sons (a club of which I’m Vice President) involved those drawls & pis stains. I won’t bore you with the details but allegedly, there was a consistent presence of such stains in my childhood homes. I’m sure that most of the multitudes of little boys who left pis stains in their drawls did so for a single reason (psst, it’s mostly not purposely done).

Late June, 1996 : a Man who would become 🐐, was released unto the masses. Shawn Corey Carter of Marcy, is the greatest to ever wield a 🎤 but why?

Reasonable Doubt was released 24 years ago today & while it did well as far as sales & garnered positive initial reviews ; most were NOT ready, so we just HEARD the slick 💩 this “Manimal” (y’all don’t remember my show, 🔥) was bleating. Once we were ready to LISTEN . . . The transformation would be completed : 👨🏾 to 🐐. I could write several pages regarding each track from this album but I’m in Walmart, iPhoning this scribe so I’ll move on.

HipHop is a genre full of braggadocio & embellishments, especially amongst those who season their works with 🔫, 🌱 💊 💉 & 🐈 🐱 : Jigga’s talk was more than just talk, he was verified by true American Gangsters (double entendre in honor of 🐐 Z). One of the main n reasons for Young Hov’s goatness is tied into “Marcy Son,” where he’s from (I wrote a thesis on that track for Dr. Depolo in 98-99 . . . got an “A”).

Shawn is a Black man, from the projects, raised by a single mother, dropped out of school & is a self proclaimed EX drug dealer . . . who’s now worth in excess of 1B, who has 45 on speed dial ( former President Barack Hussein Obama ✊🏾 ) & who has done TONS for his ppl & for all in dire straits BUT what rings even more important is the fact that the majority of his philanthropic assistance has been anonymous..... ✊🏾 ( word time Shawn ).

The “god emcee” ( comprehension is 🔑. . . No one proclaimed him God ) has hits upon hits but there are others with more hits . . . Hov is the 🐐because no one’s b-sides come close. Most albums would have 2-4 hits, if lucky, but Hov’s entire albums are usually.... HUGE PROBLEMS. Where others would cultivate a bunch of filler, Jay was dropping 💣 💣 💣 . Take artists such as Drake, hit maker but does he have a “Regrets,” a “Can I Live,” a “D’evils?” . . . and this was Shawn’s first & supposedly only album 😳. Throughout his career ppl have claimed other goats such as Nas, as being more of a teacher . . . more thought provoking but that’s not true : Jay was feeding us superfoods 🥦, 🍋, 🍇 ( Regrets, Can I Live, D’evils, Politics as Usual ) superbly designed to mimic confectionary marvels ( Can’t Knock the Hustle, Feelin It, Ain’t No Nigga ) 🍪, 🍰, 🥧, 🍨. Of this, Jay is the master : the 🐐. No one’s library is as near full of consistent lyrical greatness paired with top tier production . . . and this entire library is committed to memory : HE DOES NOT WRITE, NEVER HAS IN HIS PROFESSIONAL CAREER. At least 1 of the others in the 🐐 conversation, Christopher Wallace, felt that Jay was #1 🤔.

I’ve seen ppl express their wanting to return to normalcy, tiring of protests/rants/tears & all this 🖤🖤🖤 shit . . . in 35 seconds Dave was horrified : George Floyd had to deal with that terror for 526 seconds. I’ve been alive for close to 23,126,400 seconds, more than many & fewer than many others; people that look like me aren’t afforded the luxury of being tired of this 🖤🖤🖤 shit. Idk about the next but as far as Severiano is concerned, I’m not superior to any individual based on my ethnicity (I’m just superior to most mfs: be they white, black, brown, off-white, swirled, tanned, beige, cream or albino) and that seems to be getting lost in translation. Don’t get me wrong, there’re Blacks who link superiority to ethnicity (there’re ppl of every ethnic group who think as such) but for the majority of us this is not true. I am positive that quite a few outside of the Black race erroneously see the #BLM

COVID-19 is a blessing. My prayers go up for those who’ve lost loved ones amidst this horrible pandemic BUT it’s still a blessing (I’ve lost at least 2 Framily members in connection to it). Niggas have been getting murdered by unscrupulous/vile civil servants (IMO the vast majority of our police force, as is our country, are good ppl at the core) and little, if anything, changed. You’d expect that Trayvon’s murder would have been “the one,” due to the situation. LISTEN CLEARLY BECAUSE I AM ABOUT TO GET TOO REAL AND SPEAK TO YOU ALL AS IF YOU’RE MY SQUAD : I DO NOT GENERALLY DO SO BECAUSE MOST DO NOT GET ME NOR DO THEY LISTEN, INSTEAD THEY HEAR. Trayvon was a kid & totally innocent, he was just walking through a neighborhood : in comparison, Mr. Floyd was about my age, had a criminal past (I said listen, not react. I’m not justifying shit, so stfu). Between the 2 you’d choose Trayvon as the murder that’d be the fuse to set change off . . . It wasn’t, why? Enter #Rona #Covid19 ..... whereas when Trayvon was murdered the 🌍 was open : clubs/work/school/hustling/sex/sports/drugs & all the other trappings of life had many of us pause but overall, nothing changed.... too busy “living.” #Rona shut everything down for several months : most work was paused, even cocaine/gas availability were effected. Most were forced to stay home for an extended period of time and even those who weren’t were forced to spend more time than ever at home with “nothing to do.” Due to #Rona we all were FORCED to LISTEN : with our 👀, 👂🏾 👂🏾.... with our entire being. The 🌍 was hyper focused when that gray piece of 🐳 💩 (whale 💩 is about as low as one can go cuh) MURDERED Mr. Floyd ...... and most of us were appalled & outraged. The action verbs started coming out. Most of America isn’t racist or prejudiced but most of us are vastly under informed & out of touch . . . but due to #Covid19 & its shutdown, instead of a 39sec mention on the 5:30 evening news, EVERYONE was forcibly touched by this single murder : more so than all of the same types of murders of the past 20yrs. Rona MADE 📺 shit transform into living room shit ; EVERY living room. Within a month the same NFL who’d been at odds with Kap for about the past 5-6yrs did a 180 (I hate when some erroneously say 360... dumbass 😂) & admitted that Kap was right but more importantly, that they were wrong 😲: do you realize the power in that single act? The NFL is all about profit but even they had to acknowledge the fuckery once it stepped into their homes. Individuals who mistakenly thought it was about the flag had their eyes glued open : they were forced to see the horror.....they needed to see the horror. All of a sudden SOME changes are being made.... I know this is long but still LISTEN ..... I didn’t say things are solved (never will be) but things are changing for the better. So, like I said #Rona was a blessing ..... a horrendous necessity but a necessity nonetheless. At this point I tire of seeing certain ignorances & I’m sure that the purveyors of said ignorances quickly tire of me; therefore, I’m gonna do some shit which I don’t do ✌🏾 be unto said folks : between 🍊 🦆‘a obvious views towards those like Zoey & his handling of #Rona & his obvious feelings towards Mr. Floyd’s Murder.... I’ll holla at y’all in the next lifetime. 🖤 #Blessed #THOM #StillHere

“Renegade” ft Eminem by Jay Z

1st Hov verse = him force feeding America the reality of the hood: forcing it to acknowledge it. How dare ye who’ve grown up in some amount of comfort, rate horrific #BARS that I was forced to live

... ( Hov’s 1st verse continued) the scraps y’all gave us (as with chitlins etc in slavery), I made a meal & fed my ppl; the shit we were forced to live in, i packaged as fertilizer. In that 💩 I cultivated crops and unbeknownst to you, sold you those crops in your living rooms/cars/televisions/computers & radios. I’m not just an emcee, an entertainer. . . I’m a conduit: I’m a 💡. . . a poet . . . a 👨🏾‍🏫........ Shakespeare was aight (despite the 👻 ✍🏾 rumors) but did he sell out the Garden in a day? Did he hold it down for 9 straight summers (or was it 12 ..... go check, I’m busy)? Yea, I spoon feed y’all with sugar/🧈 (the hits) but y’all don’t even realize that the guns (grime/lessons/game) snuck in with the sugar/🧈. Y’all all need me: I take y’all into the hoods you’d not dare step into and I am the hood’s contact on the inside.

Em’s first verse = someone needs to address this bullshit, it’s obvious because your kids are thirsty for the truth yet all y’all can seem to do “be parents” instead of “be parents who once were kids who did worse 💩.” I’m rude & not politically correct BUT I am genuine; meanwhile, you’ve a whole side somewhere yet coming down on ya 🧒🏾 (no one I know has hair like that kid emoji) like a ton of 🧱 over trying ⛽️ ( 🌱 which the 🧒🏾 got via yo ass, unbeknownst to you ). . . 🤔. Y’all vilify the same ppl who’ve much sway over your children; the same children who’ll, in one manner or another, likely be responsible for some aspect of your well-being in your latter years (it’d behoove you to listen to me/let me translate for you/work with me or at least stfu & let me 👨🏾‍🍳). The most heinous offenders tend to act as the most scrupulous 👨🏾‍⚖️ ( the biggest piles o 💩 enjoy wearing the clothing of 👼🏾 . . . worst type of person ) but idgaf: I am whatever they say I am ( BARS, double entendre B ) & I own it. Y’all do not know my story, which would be necessary in order for you to even attempt at narrating it 🤦🏾‍♂️ ( #DumbAsses ).

Shawn’s 2nd verse = y’all mufukkas whose forefathers owned my forefathers or whose forefathers AT LEAST were given the opportunity to own land ( idgaf what your intelligence quotient is/financial standing/social standing/education ..... you’ve power/wealth if you own land ) seem to always be the first to bring up how it took “hard work” it took to succeed.... so let me talk to y’all. When you’ve been categorically been placed behind the 8 ball (not the 3.5), even before birth: you see 💩 differently, you make choices which although you aren’t proud of.... are necessary. I decided to forego much of my childhood out of necessity, out of the need to survive: y’all gotta go to war to experience ptsd level shit.... all I need do is wake up in the morning. My Dad left & I’ve not the luxury of wondering why or to attempt to find him.... Mama & my siblings need me to do: I ain’t got time to try, I MUST do. I picked up the pack and made a way where none existed. How do you tell a mufukka who made water from 💩 (at least Jesus had 🍷) that he’s wrong for finding 🥘 when his family is in need? Y’all can kiss my ass, I’m gon eat BUT I’m sorry Mama: I know that I’m wrong but our ancestors prayed forever yet here we are. I’m paying bills & providing, how Dafuck you Gon tell me sumin? Tell that shit to them 14yr olds playing video games while mom/dad work.... I ain’t trynna hear it, that shit don’t keep the 💡 on. I’ve seen wild shit out here & fuck your stories of what could be, these rocks are tangible.... they’re my means to the end of this horrible situation & if they prove not to be, so be it: I exhausted every avenue. I adore, love & appreciate my mom but to a degree she was forced to abandon us too in order to provide to the best of her abilities..... fuck that, I’ll be her ability; I ain’t gon keep watching her hurt AND struggle..... fuck that and you. I’ll either get rich or die trying.

Marshal’s 2nd verse : How you see me depends on whom you are & where you originated in life: some see me as evil incarnate, while others see me as reality and still others (who’ve lived like experiences) see my oratory as gospel & although I’m just a regular dude, don’t make me use my skill to effect how you’re seen by your most priceless possessions...... your children (many of which are in that last group). I’m no more of a gateway “drug” to a more insidious young person/child than marijuana is to heroine (weed heads solely love weed, not crack. Stop the lies). The reason y’all adults hate me..... because all the bullshit you’ve raised your children amongst; I honestly expose and force you to face your skeletons 💀. Oh yeah, y’all so-called Bible toters..... the way you treat me/speak on me directly contradicts what you preach that you believe in..... 🖕🏾.... fuck y’all.

Human newborns are some of the most dependent in the animal world; where in mere minutes many other mammals are, at the least, able to communicate with those around them . . . we humans take weeks to do much more than cry. When hungry we cry and when we’ve “pottied” ......

In “The Hearts of Men” I speak on the importance of “shit,” .... this ain’t The Hearts of Men but the truth remains the truth. Those same helpless babes which I was speaking on a few keystrokes ago, yeah them.... when they take a dump on themselves it is usually announced to the 🌍 in the form of cries and the horrific odor known as “shitty diaper.” Without such an odor “old helpless” would be submitted to at least a few more minutes if wallowing in 💩..... sometimes it’s best we let the “not-so helpless babe” wallow a lil bit.

Detroit Red sold dope, El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz was a dope soul. Michael 👑 Jr. is said to have reveled in the occasional hooker, Martin Luther 🤴🏾 Jr. shepherded a Civil Rights movement. Both these men as well as other great historical figures achieved great things while SIMULTANEOUSLY doing their share of regular shit. A greater mistake than the regular shit itself, is made when history/society whitewash such “regular shit.” When I learned that MLK Jr. had been illegally spied on by hoover I initially thought “it figures” but then I heard some of information and I was surprised to say the least but then I thought... he was just a regular man whom taken on a highly irregular task 🤔. I gained a new respect for him, I could relate. You build an individual up as the end all be all and then one day some shit is found out.... much of that person’s work/legacy is destroyed, much of their message goes unheard. Detroit Red sold dope & pimped hoes . . . as a kid in the neighborhood I grew up in I’d of listened to Red before Mr. Shabazz: Red had smelled some of the same shit I had, Red knew my uncle whom I didn’t even know at the time. Historically we humans are quick to speak on the fact that no one is perfect yet we tend to portray our heroes & heroines as such. . . BIG MISTAKE! A perfect individual, over time, can only become more imperfect; an imperfect individual enjoys having the sky as his/her limit.

Over the past few years there has been a phenomena running rampant in much of my community ; a phenomena that effects a multitude of people, in a multitude of ways. Today, with a few clickity claks of my right thumb ( I’m doing this on my 📱 & honestly, it takes more than a few clikkitys to complete 😁 ).

For decades the number 40 represented, middle age : the accepted halfway point of the journey to that promised culmination of life ( the dirt nap, aka 💀). Mid life crisis marker aka 40, is no longer “bout that life.” “40 is the new 30,” naw 40 is the new entry level “DBA” tax ( doing bidness as ) . . . a term which many small business owners are familiar with.

There’s a section of women in my community that champion $40 as their call to arms & while the $40 phenomena is very real, it is not what I will attempt to explain within these words ; I am going to explain why 40 ended up being the widely accepted figure of choice.

Lettuce imagine ( I know I said 🥬.... geez, didn’t y’all watch the “Muppet Babies?” ... use your imaginations sometimes) .... as I was saying, 🥬 imagine that Danice is blessed with hips o plenty & a body to die for ( nowadays her being attractive or not makes no difference) and needs $200 for some bill or hair or whatever; how does one such as Danice acquire said funds? Many of you are thinking she could go to work, borrow from family or something along those lines : how cute but this ain’t a fairytale. In communities such as mine across the country, Danices send that text or cashapp request to a number of blindly willing individuals but She does not request the entire $200, doing so would be folly in most instances. She sends out requests for $40 to every corner of her clueless community: sugar daddies, hustlers, deacons, studs etc. . . . You name em, a request is on the way. But why $40?

Something about a $50 bill makes it seem somewhat high class like its big brother $100, so Danice can’t ask for that from those who’ve yet to “prune” her garden : she could but of her 20 initial requests, MAYBE she hooks 2 or 3 🐟 and Danice ain’t just trying to eat a meal . . . She’s trying to eat AND put some 🐠 in the deep freezer for future use. If she asks for $100 quite a few in that initial 20 would at least want to start discussing “pruning” a little. $10 is scoffed at by Danice, she can’t even get a fill-in with that. $20 would seem to be a more efficient request, seeing as it can be handed over in the form of a single bill ( ease of exchange is undervalued ; if a person asked me for $3, I’d likely give them $5 instead 3 ones but don’t try me just because I said that, I was just explaining ease of exchange 🤓 ) but if she asks 20 individuals for $20 & 50% of those asked ( a great percentage BTW ) give in to her request. . . She only has enough to pay the bill ..... 💁🏾‍♀️ ( <— that’s Danice scoffing at the aforementioned statement ). That being said, Danice & those of her ilk agreed upon the $40 amount. If 20 are asked for $40 and 50% give in ..... 😳 .... Danice just made 100% profit. Also, if an “investor” requests pruning privileges, Danice would be justified in scoffing at such a request ( she’s likely going to fake mad & cut the individual off..... that is, until she wants/needs another 40 ).

It has become a regular occurrence seeing various individuals speaking on the the fact that many in their own communities choose not to support them : Tis not as if Christ’s teachings were poppin ..... that is, until AFTER Christ took flight ; his disciples, not friends but DISCIPLES, did not wholeheartedly believe in him until there was physically “no him.” Many times those familiar with you also have a “familiar” set of limitations associated with you. I do not and cannot expect support from those I know‬ personally and I make this statement without malice and with no negative connotations attached to it. I “expect” more support from those whom I’ve never met.

None of us are without faults and as I constantly state, each of us come with a certain amount of bullshit (amounts vary & the trick is realizing those who are worth their accompanying percentage of bovine solid wastage 🤢). It is simple, who hath indulged in the more of your odiferous collection of slights, be they big, small, real or imagined? Most of us remember our interactions with & past effects on others as all being positive . . . The most difficult individual to be honest with is self. Individuals who are familiar with you, be that intimately or from afar, tend to create an unauthorized biography for each person whom they are “familiar” with. Maybe you hung with an ex of theirs, maybe your mom was a better student than a past classmate that just so happened to one day become your teacher, maybe you beat them out for first 🪑 flute (that’s cutthroat competition right there, my sister & her fellow flutists were SERIOUS about that there) etc etc : the point is that those who have spent the most time sharing any semblance of air, space & history with you are without a doubt, the very individuals who potentially have the largest collection of 🦴🦴🦴 to pick with you. “Rocafella Records” was started with money acquired from fiends, not FRIENDS : confusing the 2 would be disastrous.

Everything that’s gold doesn’t glitter . . . Yes, I know what I said & I meant it. You likely came up being told the reverse but I came up telling myself the version which I choose to use. Money is a means to an end, a necessary evil (it isn’t evil in any manner, the lust for it takes that cake. . . Ppl are the evil) due to its being a tool in the handling of responsibilities & the procurement of necessities; otherwise, I haven’t much need for it (when I was younger, I thought I did). The most fun I’ve ever had with another human being 🤔. . . Much of that time I was bout broke, had no car & I stayed in a rundown house : everything that’s gold doesn’t glitter. My gf at the time could care less about that house/my finances & she had a 🚗 (s/o to my G), she genuinely cared for ME : everything that’s Gold doesn’t glitter. Growing up we started out in the Vrew (mama says we were in Alpha Arms at one point but my memory only goes back to 3yrs old) & at 6 or 7 we matriculated to Devereaux, right behind “Thomas Mity Mart” (one of few Skins’ fans that I liked, s/o to Malika Thomas-Hunter , your Pops was a good man, especially when no one was looking) . . . Da Webb. We took a hiatus to tha Projects while some work was being done on the house, point being — we never lived in the “good part” of town : everything that’s Gold doesn’t glitter. The Agriculture industry (including gardening/landscaping) is a multi billion dollar business, every day new advances are being made (probably not the last few days though, Rona be acting up) .... all these advances & guess the 👑 of all fertilizers ..... stank-stank, dookie, shit, 💩💩💩: everything that’s Gold doesn’t glitter. When I was much younger I chose to do nefarious things (only narcotics peddling and I’ve since been convicted & paid my debt to society .... crock o bullshit that is but that’s another story) in the pursuit of money, money which would secure me all of these things. . . 85% of those things were stupid as fuck & I’d of easily attained them anyway, with a little patience : everything that’s Gold doesn’t glitter.

Money serves its purpose, things serve their purposes but for the most part, money “ain’t that cute”. Do not do your kids or young loved ones the disservice of teaching them that money means more than what it was meant to mean (see the description from earlier, my thumb is tired); it’s a means to an end. The true Gold is out there : it’s not glittering, it’s not shiny, it’s not that heavy & unlike the glittery kind of gold . . . Its worth everything.

Ok time to speak on the genius of this here 3 part epic drama (I warn thee that I am a bloviator, so this gon take some time). So Jay cheats on B with Becky (allegedly Dame’s ex-wife 🥶) & that act alone changes the course of their lives & music forever. Jay is Jay & seemingly has the 🌎 in the palm of his hands .... then B discovers his debauchery and hastily grabs her daughter & to the West my brother to the West. Up until this point Jay is basically, undefeated since he stepped onto the scene but this one hurts; hurts like no pain he’s ever endured and that’s saying a bunch when Adnis is considered. Jay watches his family ride into the sunset while he instead is simply burned by the sun. Over time B has to face the fact that her husband cheated & that it will soon become public: will she forsake him? Will she forgive him? Tis my personal opinion that initially Jay turned her out & in doing so, acquired there lion’s share of power in the relationship. When I say turned out I mean just his energy or a certain je ne sais quoi that coming from suburban Houston, she’d never experienced: he thugged her out. With this one decision B would snatch that lion’s share of power from Jay & strong arm the music industry at the same time. Allegedly part of Beyonce taking Shawn back was that she’d put her therapy to music in the form of the album “Lemonade” and of course, Shawn acquiesced . . . Sasha (on stage Bey) then went to work. Many times artist do their best work when assisted by pain (Mary, Budden, K. Cole etc) & ain’t much pain the like betrayal orchestrated by someone you love. B not only birthed an unadulterated, cohesive & 3 dimensional masterpiece but she did a video for each track AND tossed the album out in the middle of the night with no fanfare or notice. Beyonce broke the internet. I was isolated from most of the world in prison & even there I felt the reverberations of her master chess move ( see Fred Thompson for the https://www.m3s3apparel.com/ gear ). The internet, the 🌎, lost it ( the same 🌎 that Hov held.... see what I di...nvm) and not only was it new Beyoncé but the music, the content was raw and real and honest and relatable and FIE! Beyoncé did not hold back, she laid her emotions at the 🌎’s feet and did so unapologetically ( sub.... figure it out). She bared her frustration, pain, confusion, disdain for all to see and didn’t give a fuck how anyone felt about it. In the end, she decided to take the “Big Homie” back but on her terms.

.... I fucked up, damn .... after all the shit I’ve seen, I really fucked up this time.... Hov’s mindset on 4:44: I fucked up. Hov begins by letting the listener inside... I saw this chick but I couldn’t get her but I want to meet her.... he describes first meeting his future wife at a time when she was unavailable. He describes wanting & finally getting, the 🍏 of his 👁 but more importantly he is for once in his career, vulnerable. He openly admits his bullshit & in a stroke of genius decides to not give excuses as to why he cheated but instead tried to begin to explain why he was like he was.... Adnis left. My Dad wasn’t in my life as a kid but I’d guess that if he were & then he basically disappeared, it’d be worst that not having him there at all; regardless, his father’s abandonment cut him deeply and it also went a long way towards defining whom he was as a man (it’s all throughput his music.... he had to take care of mama/big sis etc... go listen). Adnis left & Jay’s life changed in a multitude of negative ways but without that abandonment, you & I never know whom Shawn Corey Carter is .... his father made him twice 😳. It was not his dad’s fault that he’d cheated on his family but he definitely had shown his son how to go about doing it. At some point the father and son reconnected but not long afterwards Adnis died.... he’d left his boy again. On 4:44 Jay confessed his bullshit but he also matured & went about attempting to assist us in our maturation; both within self and in our outlooks. He gave up giving a fuck about what the mob thought ( “I think he knows what Rome is. Rome is the mob. Conjure magic for them and they'll be distracted. Take away their freedom and still they'll roar. The beating heart of Rome is not the marble of the senate, it's the sand of the coliseum. He'll bring them death - and they will love him for it.” ) and decided to do whatever necessary to get his mob back.