Cordelia Chase

“Seriously? Do you think I don’t see you undressing him with your overly-Urban-Decay’d Slayer eyeballs? Honestly, I almost feel bad for you.”

“God, whatever. You two are so touchy about this life or death stuff. You’d think it was life or death.” she didn’t question him before following, which maybe she should have because Angel was known to go all Kill Bill at times, “I’m just saying, it’s nice to be nice.” as if she would know, “You guys really take us human-types for granted. I mean, when was the last time any of you cooked a meal? If it wasn’t for Xander going on doughnut runs, Giles would literally never eat.”

“Well, if by ‘creatures of the night’ you mean one Buffy the Beauty Sleep Slayer, then yeah. It’s not like I’m even all that broken up about losing sleep on a school night, because studying wasn’t going to happen, anyway. It’s the way she just passes everyone else off as her little helpers. Ok, so she’s got evil to vanquish. She can’t make time for ‘please’ and ‘thank you’?” she sighed and looked at the bag in her hand, “Beats me. All I know about these herbs is that they’re potent, as in stinky.”

“Like anybody keeps normal hours anymore? I mean it’s great that Buffy’s out there saving the world and everything, but would it kill her not to mess up everyone else’s sleep schedule? I’m running an errand for Giles.” she lifted up a neatly tied paper lunch sack and dangled it in the air, “I’m Magical Herbs Girl.”

“Oh! I’m sorry! I didn’t realize calling creepy people creepy was offensive? What are you even doing out here? It’s almost daylight, Angel. Unless someone invented vampire sunblock and forgot to tell me, aren’t you in actual danger?”

"God! Could you be creepier? I thought you were over prowling around in the shadows?”

"Wesley,” Cordelia beamed as she entirely butted right into the middle of a conversation Wesley was having with a real adult. In fact, the only adult at The Bronze. Had he chosen a life of no fun, or something? It never crossed her mind that he might be looking for one of the slayers, or that there might be an emergency. She not so gently tapped the woman he’d been talking to out of frame with her hip, “I saw you over here all by yourself and thought you could do with some saving. What brings you out here where the fun is?”

"Maybe I just got tired of watching you throw yourself at him. I mean, who do you think you’re fooling in those skimpy outfits? You’re so beyond out of your league, it’s laughable.”

"This isn’t a negotiation. If you want to use my father’s car to haul weapons, I’m coming with you. There’s nothing to discuss.”

"Hello, ever heard of ‘alone time’? It’s not like I don’t see you guys at school and at The Bronze and, you know. The cemetery where we kill unspeakable demons. I need this, ok? I need to pamper myself and alone time only works if you’re someplace that’s else.”