The current home of The Offset Parabolan and associates.
Ockham, The Offset Parabolan (any/all)
calling card | profile | tag | timeline
There's something odd about Ockham. Ockham seems cordial enough when you meet at a society soirée, or in the crowded lobby after a theatrical performance, even if Ockham seems to say very little. It's not until you get out into the crisp night air that you feel suddenly awake and refreshed, and the haziness of your encounter truly sets in. What were you talking about anyway? Did she say something important? Was it she? Or maybe it was he... you seemed to have known at the time. The longer you think on the encounter, the more nonsensical it seems. What did Ockham even look like? Your memory of him... them(?)... doesn't seem right, like trying to remember a dream... Perhaps it's best not to think about it too hard.
Non-Player characters:
Eleanor Roberts, The Twilit Entrepreneur (she/her)
profile | tag | timeline
She'd spent decades moulding herself into the model Imperial subject, the perfect, respectable English officer, the Commodore's golden boy—his favourite son—rejecting every element of herself that did not fit that ideal. Now that he's dead and she's out the Dawn Machine's hold, she's decided to live her life on her terms. Whilst no one could accuse her of being charismatic, her earnestness goes a long way. Not a woman lightly crossed when interacting in the professional sphere.
Robert "Robin" Jones, The Unassuming Confidante (he/him)
profile | tag | timeline
A diploma from Summerset hangs on his wall, dated from the 80s. A handful of letters of recommendation attest to decades of work history in London, though it’s difficult to parse exactly doing what. Some sort of solicitor? Is this what he does now…? The calling card, listing an address in the Upper River, certainly seems to say so. And he certainly seems friendly enough, a social butterfly, always taking an interest in what you want to talk about. Odd, that he doesn't seem to say much about himself.
Charlotte Pryce, The Relentless Pathfinder (she/her)
profile | tag
She'd heard rumours that life in London was different than on the surface. That the rules society are different. That one can live as they wish. After her husband's death, she took her kids to the Neath, with hopes for a future of simply more. More for all of them. And in London, she's determined to have it all, regardless of the cost.
Leslie Wells, The Cornish Koloman (they/he)
profile | tag
A surface time traveller from the year of... 1912. Their attempt to repair their father's broken machine and travel to the dates of his journals backfired, landing him in 1902 and in the Game's crosshairs. After the Coilheart Games, they were convinced to return to the Neath, changing allegiance and slowly continuing work on their time machine. He'll get it right this time, and solve the mystery that sent them down this path in the first place.
Tamara, The Light-Born Preservationist, (she/her)
profile | tag
A displaced Varchaasi, trying to make a life for herself in London. Formerly shared a townhouse with Ockham, now living with her business partner, Margaret. Her interest in painting and photography has landed her with London's less respectable crowd, involved in production of some of London's more scandalous images.
Margaret Hawes, The Enterprising Gossipmonger (she/her)
profile | tag
Formerly a Lady's Maid at the Shuttered Palace, a Rube Goldberg string of errors led to her accidental murderer of her boss, The Traitor Empress. Upon escaping New Newgate, she'd taken advantage of her new anti-monarchist contacts to try to pass herself off as a lady herself. Currently, she's working a grift honeytrapping rich society types and sending scandalising photos of them to the newspapers in exchange for a cut of the money they contribute to the Venderbight economy, alongside her photographer partner, Tamara.
Horace (any/all?)
tag
An exceptionally round and fluffy cat. Quite possibly a paid agent of the Game and staunch Liberationist. Quite possibly multiple identical cats answering to the same name who are never seen in the same place.
□□□□□, The Rubbery Barber Surgeon (he/him)
profile | tag
Trained in the style of the old masters, this butch squid will give you the best haircut and/or shapeling arts procedure you've ever seen. Happily engaged to The Tentacular Surgeoness.
Graham, The Geriatric Geodian (he/him)
profile | tag
Absolutely just the worst. Graham's been around for longer than the crystals of Grand Geode. He's not even dawnpilled, just respects a fellow hater.
Inez, The Serendipitous Prodigy (she/he)
An engineer in the New Sequence with a talent for uncovering people's deepest secrets, she never seems to realise that any of this classified or protected information is not common.
Henri Reynard, The Alienated Alienist (he/him)
tag
An Upper River alienist and licentiate, with an undeserved reputation as a gothic horror character. He cannot understand how he keeps getting on the wrong foot with so many people.
David Campbell, The Soft-hearted Vicar (he/him)
The former head of a minor Anglican church in London, contented leading his small flock. Now a drownie lurking near Mutton Island.
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standing there silently. here because they dreamed it. because in this dream they are important, they matter. The captain, who has mourned so long, who has cut the grief out of their head and still mourns, and will always mourn, who's body has been sold piece by piece in the hope of making it end.
who is standing here and watching this woman, who rules an empire, be able to just... pay. just pay. just be important enough for Law itself to be bent just so SHE can have more time with someone who died. They're hearing the soft german from someone who is long gone and burning.
Working people hauled that sphinxstone. ORVILLE hauled that sphinxstone. something beautiful was destroyed at great cost to haul that accursed fucking stone to bring HER-
THIS WOMAN CAN HAVE EVERYTHING. ANYTHING. SHE GETS HER LOVED ONE BACK TOO?
Orville does not remember who they lost in life but for a few minutes the rage is enough. for a few minutes they are the same orville who stood at the neck of a street that a body was scraped off the walls of, a case that was never solved, a crime that was simply ignored, and seethed.
and to think this is why all that suffering happened?
I'm thinking more about why Wells is the most unchanged of my characters. Initially, I was going to say "because the Journey hasn't finished with him yet", but that's not quite true. I think it's because from when they were born they were constantly encouraged to be themself and met with love and positive reinforcement for being that self. He's not so much not changing as just always being who he is and not straying away from that.
Making this my own post because it was escaping the tags of the original re: OCs when they were younger.
Younger surface Ockham was a touch softer in some places, but still pretty close to the modern reflection. He was still something of an acquired taste to befriend, strongly opinionated and not especially outgoing, but it was easier to do.
Young Ellie was the absolute worst--nasty to others and just walking around with a perpetual chip on her shoulder around her peers (admittedly, she was not much liked in turn). Clumsily sugary to those she felt deserving of it in a way that didn't always succeed in coming across how she'd intend. She'd sell you to Satan for one corn chip. Rare Dawn Machine win.
Young Jones thought he was invincible. He couldn't be beaten, only set back. He was full of big ideas and ambition. He could come across as a touch full of himself, though he was always ready to listen and pivot on his opinions.
Young Charlotte wasn't quite as confrontational as her modern day counterpart. She was more easygoing and willing to let the world move and shape around her. She views growing into adulthood as embracing the necessity of being serious.
Young Wells is also very similar to the current day iteration. They were full of wonder and curiosity, always looking for adventure.
stanisław's possible final forms before i decided he should be a spiderguy
spiderman/batman/mothman
i knew i wanted an animal associated with caves or night. moth is fun, especially as a metaphor. metamorphosis and transition. bat was a strong candidate, but i decided against it specifically because of the masters. in the end i decided on him being a spiderguy! the title of Webweaver was PERFECT for that
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so many misguided metaphors around violence and desire. if the open maw of a panting beast fills you with the want to be devoured, that does not make you prey. while the rabbit trembles in fear, its deepest desire is to run. evolution demands it. in fact, the desire to be eaten does not make you any small animal at all.
- stanisław has a pretty thick polish accent. he knows english very well, but since he used to spend the vast majority of his time at home, only talking to his family in polish, he hasn't had a lot of opportunities to practice his pronunciation. his accent gets more british the longer he lives in the neath
- i mentioned to you that izabela (stanisław's oldest child) might come to the neath and study its bugs, and start a relationship with a rubbery. it's canon now. in the future she will marry a genderfluid rubbery, her research buddy. she will have a persephone type situation, except fully by choice. she will spend springs and summers on the surface (and study surface bugs), and then come down to the neath to be with her spouse (and study neath bugs). izabela will be the ____ naturalist. idk what kind of naturalist yet
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highlights of this year's fallen london summer event:
absolutely no disasters happened.
this greatly distressed the people of london to the point that some of them began trying to make a disaster happen On Purpose
in the end they settled for making a Past Summer Disasters Theme Park in the esoteric dream-memory-forest that grows in the land behind mirrors
you can go to this theme park to relive past summer events (and the disasters therein). this includes climbing into a furnace, on purpose
(you do not HAVE to climb into the furnace. climbing into the furnace is entirely optional. you are told, in bold text, that even in a dream, it is a bad idea to climb into the furnace. you can still climb into the furnace.)
you can also assist the theme park by barking. barking pays ridiculously well, better than any other grindable activity in the game. to be specific: at max stats, it pays you the equivalent of 6.9 echoes.
assisting the theme park or reliving past events builds up a community-wide nostalgia meter that unlocks rewards for everyone as it rises. one of these rewards is the ability to make your profile header picture a drawing of a croissant.
the playerbase lost their minds over this.
another reward is the unique, one-time item "An Insatiable Porcine Investment Vessel" - aka, a piggy bank.
you can smash the piggy bank to get an uncertain amount of money. the bold text warns you that this action is "permanent and irrevocable." the description for this action makes sure to mention that you're not looking it in the eyes.
you can also put money in the pig, one penny at a time. doing so increments a quality that changes descriptions depending on how many pennies you've put in, all the way up to 777. you are told, in bold text, that this quality has absolutely no effect on the amount of money received from smashing the pig.
there may or may not be a cult dedicated to the pig among the playerbase.
you can climb into the furnace multiple times. climbing into it a second time gives you a quality that calls you out on your questionable decisions. it can be incremented further by climbing into the furnace again, up to seven times.
this quality is a pain to raise because you can only climb into the furnace once per ~80 action replay of that specific past summer. it also does absolutely nothing.
and naturally, a significant portion of the playerbase dropped everything to max it.
truly delighted that multiple people have responded "holy shit you can climb into the furnace AGAIN??? stop the presses THIS is what I should be doing instead of barking." truly the players of this game have only the most correct priorities
I sometimes think about the fact that Jones could’ve landed anywhere on the Chessboard, it really was just a matter of who picks him up. If it were White I’m not sure he’d have deeply questioned it, simply accepted that the drive for change was beaten out of him and this was his life now, he’d simply make the best of it.
There are snakes and there are serpents, and this is definitely the former. The main trunk is as thick as your leg, covered in dusty tawny scales. Where the ancient snake raises its head from the ground a susurrus of smaller ones bloom and tangle, holding the main body up with their own. Their bodies slide against each other like sand from an hourglass.
A necklace of rheumy moonstones observe you.
"Judge me not-"
"Hold me not-"
"Ask me not-"
The susurrus are drowned out by the raspy voice of the greatest head.
"I am here to help you. I am telling the truth. I have no interest in deception."
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What does Ockham think of Hell? The Zee-Gods? Cats? 👀
Hell: Confusing place, populated by Devils, who tend to be quite rude.
The Zee Gods: Unclear if Ockham knows about Salt or Stone, but is keeping a wide berth from Storm both at zee and in Parabola. Storm is a part of the reason that Ockham won't touch the zee.
