Welcome To The Inferno~

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕾𝖎𝖝: 𝕾𝖚𝖗𝖈𝖊𝖆𝖘𝖊 𝖔𝖋 𝕾𝖔𝖗𝖗𝖔𝖜

Warnings: Strong language, self-loathing

Silence used to be comforting.

When Melanie was on the streets, it had been a blessing if things were quiet. When she would tuck herself away in some hidden place for the night, not knowing what dangers the city might conjure, hearing nothing but the sound of sirens and taxis was a relief. 

But now, standing in her dark bedroom, not even changed out of her mission clothes, the quiet seemed to press down on her with intent to smother. 

Limbs stiff, Melanie moved to sit on the end of her bed. Stomach heavy and chest aching. She buried her face in her hands. 

How could I have been so callous?

She took a deep breath, but the burn in her chest–and the sting at the corners of her eyes–was only sharpened by it. 

“You did what you thought was best,” Melanie tried to assure herself, wrapping her arms around herself and squeezing until the dull ache yanked her back from the edge of a spiral. “You thought he was going to hurt you. Mystique would’ve killed you if you didn’t do that.” It was logical. Reasonable. What person wouldn’t react to their trust being broken in such a way? But it still stung. 

Way too far, Leblanc, She thought bitterly. He takes you in as a friend, does his best to be kind, and you want to kill him. I could’ve run. I could’ve–

Melanie groaned, falling backwards onto the bed. Another deep breath. Less painful this time. In. Out. Ground and center. 

“It doesn’t matter what I could have done,” Melanie said softly. “I protected myself. And–and if I lost a friend, then–then–!” She tried to will herself to say then that’s fine, but she couldn’t. The words stuck in her throat like phlegm. 

“God fucking dammit.” 

Melanie sighed. It was only then, as she stared listlessly at the ceiling, did she realize just how disgustingly sticky her skin felt. Sweat and skintight fabrics were not friends, even with the most modern moisture-wicking technology Xavier could buy. A shower was sounding more and more tempting than ever.

“Alright, c’mon, get up. You can be dramatic later.” 

The shower did help immensely, once she turned the water hot enough to flush her skin pink. The sensation helped her mind not wander off. After a quick towel dry and changing into clothes that were light years more comfortable, Melanie finally headed downstairs for dinner. 

She’d guessed earlier that it wasn’t Gambit or Ororo helming the kitchen tonight; after all, there was no tell-tale scent of turmeric, cumin, or paprika in the air. And lo and behold, Scott was in the midst of serving up steak and potatoes.

“Hey!” Jubilee greeted warmly, with Kitty giving her a wave as well. Melanie managed a small smile as she slid into the end of the booth. 

“Dude, I had to take the biggest nap after that,” Kitty sighed. “I kept having to phase to keep up with Kurt.” She turned her gaze to Melanie and smiled carefully. “What about you, Mel? Did you…get some rest?”

Melanie tried her best to tamp down any annoyance at Kitty’s clear prodding. They were friends, and Kitty meant well. Still stung, though.

“I’m alive,” Melanie huffed. “That’s all that matters.” 

“Duh, you don’t get to punch your timecard anytime soon, girl.” Jubilee said with a gentle smile. 

“Thanks, Jubes.”

Melanie was eventually served her plate–Scott could make a mean steak, which somewhat made up for Jean’s war crimes that she called food–and a bit of the weight of the day seemed to ease. It was only after she’d gotten about halfway through her food that she realized someone was missing.

“Where…where’s Gambit?” She asked in a small voice. 

“Cajun said he needed to take a walk after that shitshow with Mystique,” Wolverine replied gruffly. “I wouldn’t worry about it, kid. He’s a loose cannon on a good day.”

“Ain’t that rich, comin’ from you,” Rogue teased. “Don’t you worry, sugah, that ole card thief will wander his way back here eventually. Gambit’s a ramblin’ man. Sometimes he takes a couple days off.”

A couple days? The idea made Melanie want to shrivel away. Great. Waltz into his life and get him so upset he’s fucked off to god knows where. You’re a class act, Leblanc.

Melanie didn’t finish her plate. 

Going back to her room only sounded like another date with self-loathing, so Melanie instead elected to make her way to the library. She’d made a habit of visiting in evening hours, when most people were watching TV. The only people who tended to join her on occasion were Hank and the Professor, and the former was usually in the lab and the latter in his office. 

Curling up in one of the large armchairs in the corner, Melanie tucked her legs under herself. The guilt over her actions had faded, thankfully, though the thought that she might’ve hurt the real Gambit still made her stomach twist up in knots.

There’s nothing I can do except wait, Melanie said. It’s not my call in the end, how things turn out. It didn’t soothe her, but it was nice to have some logic to cling to. 

In the calm, the thought that had been coiling in her mind like a worm finally pushed its way forward. Maybe I should go. Melanie winced to even hear it, let alone entertain it. Not fair that he gets pushed out of his home by me. I’m not even officially an X-Man. 

But even as she considered it, she knew it was simply her regret talking. The city held nothing for her, and would give her no quarter. And she had no doubt some of her survival skills had dulled; the essentials were still razor-sharp if the mission had been any indication, but a single slip could spell disaster on the streets. 

So I’m stuck.

Melanie bit at her thumbnail gently. Nothing to do but face the music. Why am I worried anyway? Back in Brooklyn I’d dump someone for way less. Didn’t need friends. Gambit is smart. More than anything, he’s a thief. He gets it. The smart thing to do is stay the hell away from me. 

As she sat contemplating, there was a BAMF! As Kurt suddenly teleported into the library, Rogue not far behind him. 

Melanie looked up, brow furrowed. “What are you two doing here?”

“We come to check on ya, sugah,” Rogue said gently. “Felt it was only right, even if Hank gave ya the once over in the infirmary.”

“Indeed,” Kurt said, teleporting to perch on the high back of the chair. “We know how our mother likes to use her power for cruelty’s sake. We did not want you to feel alone.” 

Melanie blushed at their concern, staring down at her lap as Rogue commandeered a nearby ottoman.

“I don’t even understand how she did it, much less why,” Melanie said. “I should’ve–ugh. I should’ve known she was close.” 

“Don’t you dare blame yourself, sug,” Rogue said firmly, taking Melanie’s hand. “Mama’s got a mean streak a country mile wide, ain’t nothin’ you could do to change that. What matters is you got out in one piece.”

“I only got out because of Gambit,” Melanie said bitterly. “And look where that got us. I lost my shit and now he’s off who knows where!”

Rogue and Kurt exchanged a glance. 

Melanie tugged at her hair. “God, both him and you two must think I’m psycho,” She muttered. “Here I am, some fuckin’ alley trash you guys had the good hearts to help, to make into something better, and I go and turn on you the second I thought someone was getting handsy–!”

“She did what?!”

Rogue’s screech of indignation snapped Melanie out of her self-deprecating rant, and she barely had time to process before she found herself encircled in the southern woman’s arms. 

“Sugah, ah am so sorry,” She said firmly. “Mama ain’t never liked Gambit, and she decided to take that out on you. Oh, I’m s’mad I’d like to knock her into next week!”

Melanie blinked. “But I–”

“But nothing, fraulein. You protected yourself. Und I have known you long enough to know zat you are not ze kind of person who would feel shame for it.”

“N-no, I—I know I did the right thing, she was trying to kill me…but god, the things I said…if I were Gambit, I’d have left, too.” Her eyes were beginning to sting again. 

“Aw, sugah,” Rogue said gently as she pulled away. “Don’t you go gettin’ yourself down thinkin’ you spooked him. That ole boy put his life on the line for you and would do it again. We’re a team, ain’t we? That makes us some kinda family, ah reckon. And if my eyes don’t deceive me, you ‘n Gambit are gettin’ to be real good friends.” 

“I agree with Rogue,” Kurt said with a sage nod. “Gambit can be mysterious, but he is loyal to those he is close with. If he truly did not wish to remain your friend, he would not have spoken to you on the jet.”

“You saw that?”

“Heard it. How could I not, with ears zis large?” Kurt joked.

Melanie laughed, a few tears finally slipping down her face, which she wiped away. 

“True.”

She sat back against the chair, pinching her nose.

“Always been hard on myself,” She sighed. “Guess I don’t know when to turn it off.” 

“We’ve all been there, sugah.” Rogue said with a smile. “Believe you me. Ain’t a person in the whole wide world without some skeletons in their closet, ‘cept maybe a lil baby.”

Rogue stood, offering Melanie a hand. “If you want, we’re doin’ a lil movie marathon in the TV room. Gonna kick back and watch the Terminator movies.” 

“Yeah, cheesy action sounds great right now.” Melanie took Rogue’s hand, using it to stand as Kurt leapt down from his perch.

“I have also agreed to these on the condition zat zere vill be no German accent jokes,” Kurt said half-jokingly. “A man can only be called ‘Blue Arnold’ by Morph so many times.”

Melanie cracked up as they headed to join the others.

It was, all-in-all, a very good movie night. Scott kept talking about effective strategies to take down the Terminator, while Logan argued back about how they didn’t work. Melanie found her place beside Kurt, who handed her snacks with his tail when she asked and kept chuckling understandingly at the times Arnold Schwarzenegger’s accent simply couldn’t be avoided—“It is harder zan one would think!”—which she got a kick out of. By the time the tape of T2 was being put in, the chaos and regrets of the day had faded into a pleasant buzz of contentment. 

Finally back in her room for the night, the silence in the dark was once again bearable. Melanie climbed into bed, happy to collapse. She’d barely rested since she’d come home.

Just as sleep began to creep in, there was a gentle knock at the door. 

Groaning softly, Melanie dragged herself to her feet to answer. But as the door swung open, she was greeted by empty air. Confused, Melanie leaned into the hall to look around; just in time to see the end of a long coat disappear into a room down the hall, the door clicking shut. Melanie went to step out after him, but her foot hit something.

Looking down, Melanie realized Gambit had left something outside her door. A smile crossed her face as she realized it was a small box with a few packs of her favorite spicy ramen, a few lavender cookies, a small stuffed black cat, and a note. 

Picking up the paper, Melanie read: 

Pour Ma Devinette,

Gambit thought you might like these. Hope you sleep tight and feel better.

And he hopes you can forgive him. 

Cordialement,

Remy LeBeau. 

Melanie stared for a long moment. Forgive…him? What on Earth did he have to apologize for, she was the one that…

Melanie sighed. She’d have to talk to him tomorrow. 

She picked up the box and smiled. “I guess this means we’re cool, at least.” She said softly heading back into her room. Finally, Melanie got some much-needed sleep.  

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