love will have its sacrifices;

Well, my penis is great so…

It was very amicable towards my pussy, so, that was appreciated. Thanks, penis.

I’m feeling so objectified.

Sucks to be liked only for your penis, huh?

Oh, of course. Sit on the devil’s lap and I’ll make you hot.

That I definitely don't need help with. I could use your dick though.

I was probably going to hell anyway, but now I’ve got the fucking throne there.

As long as I get visitation rights to your lap, that's okay with me.

We’re going to hell.

Hell is where all the fun people go, darling.

Just be prepared to be baptized, baby. All this holy water is gonna come right on you.

Yeah that's right, give me that holy facial, babe. Give me access to those heavenly gates.

Oh God, Mary Magdalene, you know just how to turn me on. I’ll fuck the sin right out of you. You can sit right on this holy cross I’m wielding below the belt.

Oh yeah Jesus, stick that cross into my holy grail. Squirt me with holy water and call me your fucking nun.

Oh, Mary Magdalene, you’re so loyal to me.

I wash your feet with my hair if you're into that sort of thing. Fuck the sin out of me, Jesus. I've been a bad girl.

In the name of God, Jehovah’s Witness and everything else.

What a holy man. Let me eat your body of Christ, Jesus. Amen.

No. I am a saint. God told me it was okay to do.

So you'd be eating me out in the name of God? And people prefer to be atheists, what a tragedy.

I’d be happy to comply.

Just like that? Wow, you're a slut.

I don’t- I’m not even going to comment.

Maybe I don't want you to comment. Maybe I want you to suck my dick. Which is still applicable because clits are the female version of dicks. Or rather, dicks are the male version of clits.

The way you say things literally makes me question your sanity. The nice, long part was solid until you got to pink. Because now it just sounds like I have a pepto bismol dick.

Should I say it's black instead? Oh Carson, you have such a big, black, juicy schlong. I'll take the number 69, extra juicy puh-lease.

I am absolutely one hundred percent offended by that statement. Why am I not a saint? I totally keep my dick in my pants.

Do you? Because I have a very vivid image of a nice, long, pink dick slithering out of those jeans in the very recent past.

I was definitely thinking with the one on my shoulders obviously. I never think with the one below the belt. I’m like a saint.

Carson Shepherd? A saint? Maybe if pigs flew and Leonardo Dicaprio won an Oscar.

I’m not a fifty year old man though and I love Sir Mix-A-Lot. No offense to Nicki, she’s got an ass for days. And really great tits. And- what were we talking about?

Wow, I can practically see which head you were thinking with just now.

I think SIr Mix-A-Lot sang the greatest song about asses to ever exist.

If you're a fifty-year-old man still stuck in his days of his youth, maybe. Nicki Minaj is the Queen of Asses now.