&. –– { madx }

Now that’s a headline I’d be interested in reading instead on another front page article on how Trump has fucked up yet again. Sounds like a potential episode of Black Mirror, if you ask me. Might as well get my assistant to decorate my whole apartment with spray-painted macaroni, am I right? And no, I don’t go to people, I make them come to me. Throw a Christmas party, and emphasise that gifts will only be given at the event. Perhaps I’ll serve penis macaroni this year, what do you think? Feels kind of festive to me.

you call that simple? man, i’m not sure if amazon sells world peace, but rest assured, i’m trying my luck! and long walks on the beach... well, that would depend on the company. the last thing i’d want is to walk on the beach with my 2nd aunt, who enjoys conducting annual vogue interviews with me. but no gift giving? count me in. perhaps that should be my new philanthropic cause this christmas.

“I arrived last night actually. Guess you did too?” Violet responded, as she rationed out the portions of the various frozen fruits laid before her. Gracefully, she begun throwing in the various ingredients into the blender according to muscle memory. “Wow, 4.30... that’s a whole lot of dedication to this! Hopefully others will get to enjoy them,” she remarked in bewilderment. How could someone possibly wake up this early to make cookies? Violet herself could barely wake up for morning photoshoots, and those were part of her job. “Just the usual green juice,” Violet replied as she poured her concoction into a nearby mason jar. “Spinach, frozen bananas, berries, protein, and coconut water. It’s really my go-to breakfast. Want to try some?”

Yeah I totally get the buying of random things. Sometimes it means clearing half the diptyque stock available. Half the fun is really just keeping the scents I like and giving the rest away. Gift cards were always a bit tricky, because then comes the whole trouble of determining the right amount to give.

Yeah, I guess that allergy makes up for her shit personality. I mean, no normal person is allergic to wine, or at least, acts as if I was supposed to dig that fact out of wikipedia or something. And yeah, even if you don’t drink alcohol, you could still ship it off to another party. 

... And it’d probably survive the cliff fall and somehow make its way back to your place. Money costs less than time though - 50 cards that my assistant can easily pick up seems a lot less troublesome than crafting 50 cards from scratch. Plus, why waste macaroni on people when you can just enjoy it in a meal?

Yeah, that works for friends and family. But work acquaintances? Now that’s the real problem here. Used to give bottles of wine as a go-to, till someone frowned upon me because she was supposedly ‘allergic’.

Alcohol's a classic but wow, air! What a brilliant idea! With pollution these days, air might actually be something these people will appreciate. Now the thing is, am I ordering it as a gift, or just so I can laugh at how some people will still flail their arms all over me as if its the best gift they’ve received all year?

I just did! Was hoping to draw some inspiration whilst throwing a bit of shade you know? Hmm, fair point. I mean, at the rate they’re going, coal literally seems more useful than another fancy truck that’ll take up space in their compounds. Perhaps I’ll toss in a hug and a store-bought card to make it a bit more heartfelt - that’s all people do these days anyway.

Being in a new environment didn’t mean that Violet intended to break her morning routine - Her days still begun with the usual green juice. She prodded her way toward the kitchen only for the crisp scent of freshly baked cookies to waft through the air. Mmm - she closed her eyes to indulge in the smell, only for a perky hello to startle her. ‘Yeah, today looks great,’ Violet responded courteously to the redhead who was dutifully cutting more cookies. Upon the offer, she glanced down at the cookies that were neatly piled up on a plate. ‘Ah, I’ve got to give those a miss. I usually only eat desserts once a week, you know, the typical diet rules,’ she laughed. ‘They smell and look great though!’ Violet made her way toward the fridge, searching for the usual frozen vegetables and fruits for her morning beverage. Setting them down on another counter, she sprung around as the girl introduced herself. “Nice to meet you, Bella.” Violet shook her hand. “I’m Violet, Violet Maddock,” she smiled. “It’s great that you’ve taken the effort to make all these cookies. How early did you start? 4..5am?”