IAMTHEBASTARD

idk who is actually here reading this or whatever or if you have any personal feelings about me, I’m not dead or anything. I was feeling really really bad for like a year or more but now I’m on meds and doing a little better and not thinking about killing myself every day, but I’m still feeling really worn out and sad all the time. My day to day is very lonely right now. if I can keep my shit together and make it for another month or two I’ll graduate with a masters and be a scientist officially but then what. I will just live somewhere else in a year and everything else here will be grayed up in my bad memory eventually. I remember how full and happy Tumblr used to be with all the people I kept up with, and now no one is here and most people have hurt most others that I knew. It’s all pretty dead. I know where some people are because I look; I know instagrams and twitters and a tumblr or two but idk if I would be welcome to talk to them or if I should. What the point would be anyway even if I was just trying to be nice. Same thing with my hometown. Just a bunch of grey memories. I hope the relationship I am still in doesn’t fade away 

If anyone knows me and wants to say hi, do

I didn’t kill myself