Hvitserk: every now and then i like to do something responsible.
Hvitserk: just to confuse people.
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Hvitserk: every now and then i like to do something responsible.
Hvitserk: just to confuse people.

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Ivar: okay, i admit that i was wrong.
Bjorn: good.
Ivar: however-
Bjorn: no. not however. just stand in your wrongness and be wrong.
Bjorn: honestly i can’t even tell my brothers apart half the time, because i don’t go by height or hair colour.
Bjorn: I go by the amount of stress they all cause me.
Bjorn: and that makes them identical.
Ivar: I think i might be losing my voice.
Hvitserk: so you can’t scream at us anymore?
[later]
Hvitserk: turns out Ivar is even scarier when he’s silent.
Hvitserk: I got kicked out of the great hall today because apparently i’m a “liability” and “reckless” and “Hvitserk”.
Hvitserk: the last one is just my name but you should have heard bjorn’s tone.

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Ivar: i’ll admit i’ve done a lot of things in my life that i’m not proud of.
Ivar: wait no, that’s a lie. i’m proud of all of them.
Hvitserk: day one of eating every plant i see!
[10 minutes later]
Hvitserk: i think i need help.
Bjorn: so what’s the plan? we just hide in here forever?
Hvitserk: not forever. just until Ivar calms down.
Bjorn: right, so we’re in here forever then.
Ivar: Hvitserk stop worrying it was just a splinter.
Hvitserk: you were IMPALED!
Ivar: it was a large splinter.
Hvitserk: Oh hello, Ubbe. Ivar.
Ubbe:
Ivar:
Ubbe:
Hvitserk: You may be wondering why I am taped to the ceiling.

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Bjorn: Do I need to repeat myself?
Ivar: No need, I ignored you just fine the first time.
Hvitserk: If you're going to make a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.
Ivar: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.
Aslaug: What do you have?
Ivar: A KNIFE
Aslaug: NO!
Hvitserk: Bjorn always looks so calm and composed. I wonder how he does it?
Bjorn, internally: Fuck fuck fuck fuck f
Ivar: I'm a moderate, peaceful man.
Ubbe: Yesterday you threw a chair at Sigurd.
Ivar: That was moderate and peaceful compared to the table I was going to throw at him.

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Bjorn: I told you to wait for me.
Ivar: In a shocking turn of events, I ignored you.
Ivar: I've done nothing wrong.
Ivar: Except for all the atrocities.
Ivar: Besides that, I'm innocent.