the transformation of intimacy

Janaina Medeiros
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the transformation of intimacy

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The Philosopher
by Edna St. Vincent Millay
And what are you that, wanting you, I should be kept awake As many nights as there are days With weeping for your sake?
And what are you that, missing you, As many days as crawl I should be listening to the wind And looking at the wall?
I know a man that's a braver man And twenty men as kind, And what are you, that you should be The one man on my mind?
Yet women's ways are witless ways, As any sage will tell, -- And what am I, that I should love So wisely and so well?
the Seasonal Affective was hitting me real bad so i got to reading and scheduling friend time and trying to feel cute again and now i feel that I can live a beautiful life again…
>settings
>world settings
>set to "your oyster"

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Rabbit’ssssss by asciiart (2011).
you'll be happier and more present when you touch the world around you like you're a little bit in love with it (close the door gently, walk slower, listen)
ever since i was a little girl i knew i didnt have a competitive spirit
i really liked this essay on why literary fiction is sounding so much Like That these days, especially work by asian american authors:
This entire process selects for homework-doers, personal entrepreneurs, and individualistic bureaucrats. It's why, like I said, the oracular outsiders, the Pauls of the world, who can't conform to society's expectations to check boxes and become legible to the powers that be, aren't in these programs and aren't getting the opportunities that are downstream of them. It's why you end up with tons of fiction about "my white boyfriend" and "everyone online is mad at me" or "anxious strivers in NYC" or "my annoying polycule." These are the obstacles this class encounters. You can't spend time, like Cormac McCarthy did, living in an unheated cabin in the Smokies, or embedding with the Mujahideen like William T. Vollman, or working as a psychotherapist like Olga Tokarczuk. You must move from strength to strength, always turning in your homework on time, and certainly never suffering a psychotic break.
-- Trip, Estragon News, The Oracular Outsiders and the Homework Doers
i quite liked the conclusion to the piece:
Maybe it's because that fiction is being written for the people already bought in. Art that is made for the purpose of institutional legibility and approval is dead on arrival. Writing must stand on the outside, viewing the world at a tilt. Our world is being eaten by word machines that can imitate us perfectly. Unless American letters find the courage to welcome back in the oracular, it will disappear, replaced by machine that can conform to the demands of institutional legibility—really, the demands of capital—better than any human ever could.
(girl who is already extremely private) i think i need to Move In More Silence

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my things
florence reekie "lacklustre", 2024 oil on fabric
by Mark Rothko, 1969
‘Lake Scene’ by Alexandre Jacob (French, 1876-1972)

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Study hard, make progress daily - Mao Zedong
(1997)
I never knew being a girl with a blog during the year of the horse could feel so electric