LA Bibiola vida

As I trudge through the desolate landscape of my existence, I find myself craving the elusive elixir of affirmation. It's the spark that sets the flames of resilience ablaze within me, a beacon of hope in the darkest recesses of my soul.

But the journey thus far has been an exercise in futility. The paths I've tread have been shallow, fragmented, and bereft of purpose. The ghosts of my past continue to haunt me, their whispers of self-doubt and inadequacy echoing through the corridors of my mind.

And yet, I press on, driven by the faint glow of determination. I've lost count of the number of times I've stumbled, fallen, and risen again, my spirit battered but unbroken.

The years ticked by like falling leaves, each one a reminder of my stagnation. I watched as my peers soared to dizzying heights, their success a cruel taunt to my own failures. My self-esteem lay in tatters, my confidence shattered by the cruel whispers of my own mind.

But still, I held on to the words of affirmation, those precious mantras that whispered hope into my darkness. I repeated them like a litany, a desperate attempt to conjure a reality that seemed forever out of reach.

And then, like a mirage on the horizon, I saw it – the shimmering promise of a new beginning. The hand that had guided me thus far beckoned me toward a new destination, a place where the fragmented pieces of my soul might finally find solace.

I followed, my heart pounding in anticipation, as the contours of my existence began to shift. The lies and half-truths that had held me captive for so long began to unravel, revealing a landscape of breathtaking beauty and terrifying uncertainty.

In the mirror's gaze, I confront my deepest shame,

A master of self-deception, with a talent for playing games.

How true can one lie to himself, before the facade crumbles down?

In reality, yes, but in my untold story, the truth is drowned.

A heart once broken, now a heavy burden to bear,

A soul lost in the haze, with no direction to share.

The motion of life, once stalled, now struggles to regain,

A sense of purpose, lost in the shadows, where love and trust were slain.

Even the trusted few, with hearts full of deceit,

Masturbate with life's perils, igniting fires that can't be beat.

I tried reconnecting with options, to find my way again,

But fear held me captive, silencing my voice, like a prisoner in chains.

The healing process, a myth, a fantasy, a lie,

Time, a thief, stealing moments, leaving scars that won't die.

I've learned to run from my shadows, to escape the pain,

But in doing so, I've found myself lost, in a labyrinth of flames.

And so, I journey on, through the fire and the rain,

Persistent in my pursuit, though the path ahead's uncertain and vain.

For in the depths of the inferno, I'll find my inner strength,

In the grand symphony of existence, I find myself lost,

A discordant note, struggling to find my artistic voice.

The gift of creation, a double-edged sword,

A blessing and a curse, that cuts both ways, and leaves me scarred.

I'm grateful for the art, that flows through my veins,

But sometimes it feels like a cruel joke, a heartless game.

A mockery of sorts, that taunts me with its imperfection,

A constant reminder, of my own inadequction.

Why do I feel this way? Because the world is vast and wide,

A never-ending tapestry, with threads that cannot be tied.

Eight billion worlds, orbiting our own,

A fraction of the unknown, that lies beyond our throne.

How can mere words, convey the depths of my soul?

The peace, the war, the life, the death, that makes me whole?

How can language contain, the vastness of my heart?

When every part is vital, and each word plays its part?

It's like trying to hold, the entirety of the sea,

In a lake that's too small, or cradling the earth's soil in me.

I'm left with only two hands, to grasp the impossible task,

And the weight of my incompetence, is a burden that I must ask.

But still, I try to create, despite the futility of my quest,

A mouse dashes headfirst, toward the wall, in a futile protest.

A bruise, a death, or a hidden door?

The outcome is uncertain, but the attempt is what I adore.

In this never-ending cycle, of creation and despair,

I find solace in the struggle, and the beauty that's left to share.

So I'll continue to write, despite the impossibility of my goal,

For in the act of creation, I find meaning, and a sense of control.

But what's the point of it all? Is it just a futile attempt,

To capture the essence, of life's vast, untamed event?

Or is it something more? A way to transcend,

The limitations of language, and touch the divine?

I'll never know the answer, but I'll keep on creating,

For in the act of art, I find my own meaning.

And even if it's futile, even if it's all in vain,

I'll keep on writing, for the sake of my own sanity.

So here's to the futility, of artistic expression,

A never-ending struggle, to capture life's essence.

May my words be meaningless, may my art be in vain,

In the labyrinth of existence, I find myself lost,

A prisoner of pain, with no escape, no cost.

Life's a rollercoaster, looping through the same,

A never-ending cycle, with no change, no gain.

I speak of debits, anger, stress, and no profit too,

Prayers and fasts, all yielding to a rock-solid "what to do?"

The damage is real, and I'm the only one who knows,

The mirror reflects my truth, and I'm forced to confront my woes.

I converse with myself, with anger as my guide,

"How could you?" I ask, though I know I'll never divide.

The danger and damage are clear, yet I play defense,

A fugitive from my own presence, with no pretense.

Only I know the truth, and this untold story of mine,

A tale of different episodes, at various stages of my life's design.

Affirmations are spoken words, but how do I proceed?

Can anyone lend me an ear, without judgment, to help me find my creed?

In this maze of self-discovery, I search for a way out,

A path to redemption, where love and forgiveness devout.

But until then, I'll ride this rollercoaster, lost and alone,

Now Unfold like a Blooming Garden, where ❤️‍🩹 and Wisdom are Stored.

Through every 🩺test, through every Fall,

God's gentle whisper💨 has Guided me, through it All.

So here's to this milestone, Marking a new phase of my Stride🍷,

A celebration of Resilience, of a Spirit that will not Subside🛡️.

I raise my 👀 to the Horizon, where promise and hope Entwine⚔️,

I Gaze🌜 upon the tapestry of my 🧬 Life, now woven and sworn.

Three decades of dreams, of trials and of might,

Have sculpted me into a masterpiece, Bathed in Golden 🌞.

I am the phoenix, Risen from ashes and 🔥,

I am the 🧭, charting courses through Life's uncertain Game.

I am the ✍🏼🎨, painting vibrant hues upon my Soul,

I am the 🪖 warrior, Armed with Courage, my ❤️‍🔥 made Whole.

Anger kills Wisdom

Fear kills Dreams

Ego kills Growth

Jealousy kills Peace

Doubt kills Confidence

🤹🏻Now! read them right to left!!