LIL' MONSTER

random sentences for any / multiple scenario(s). change around as you see fit.

“ who do you think you are? “

“ wait , did you just say you love me? “

“ please just … leave me alone. “

“ i’m so happy! “

“ is this a gift for me? “

“ hey! i’ve got something for you! wait right here! “

“ i love you. “

“ shut up! shut the fuck up! “

“ who told you that?! i didn’t say that! “

“ w — what? “

“ … i’m sorry. “

“ what? ME have a crush on YOU? whaaaaaat?! haha! what? pfft … shut up! “

“ bitch , guess what? “

“ oh my god … “

“ fuck you to fucking hell! “

“ man … go to hell. “

“ what did you just send me? “

“ what did you just say? “

“ they’re totally checking you out right now. “

“ jealous?! i’m not jealous! “

“ are you jealous? “

“ wow … you’re hot when you’re angry. “

“ wow … your smile is breathtaking. “

“ you’re so stupid. “

“ okay! that’s it! put your dukes up! “

“ you don’t want me. “

“ question , you’re not dating anyone , are you? “

“ let me take you out on a date. “

“ i swear to god i’m going to scream at the top of my lungs. “

“ no! don’t tickle me! “

“ i’m not good for you , trust me. “

“ no offense but i’m out of your league. “

“ so , how does it feel to know me? a blessing , isn’t it? “

“ … why does this card say ‘ happy 3rd birthday ‘? “

“ so what will it be tonight? “

“ please , let me listen to celine dion in the dark in peace. “

“ i don’t love you. “

“ you don’t love me. “

“ … is there something you want? “

“ you know , you’re really cute. “

“ god , just let me fucking love you , you idiot! “

“ shh … don’t cry. “

“ i just feel like everything is falling apart. “

“ DON’T YOU DARE! DON’T YOU FUCKING DARE! “

“ hello darkness my old friend … “

Send ❤️ if you ship our muses romantically. Send 💋 if you ship our muses sexually. Send 💀 if you ship our muses toxically. Send 🙊 if you ship our muses platonically. Send 👿 if you hate ship our muses. Send ✌ if you poly ship ours muses with another.

    FEEL FREE TO CHANGE PRONOUNS, WORDING, ETC. TO SUIT YOUR NEEDS

❛ the worst part of having a mental illness is people expect you to behave as if you don’t. ❜

❛ I used to think that my life was a tragedy, but now I realise, it’s a comedy. ❜

❛ you don’t listen, do you? ❜

❛ how’s you job? ❜

❛ are you having any negative thoughts? ❜

❛ all I have are negative thoughts. ❜

❛ for my whole life, I didn’t know if I even really existed. ❜

❛ is it just me, or is it getting crazier out there? ❜

❛ how ‘bout another joke? ❜

❛ no, I think we’ve had enough of your jokes. ❜

❛ I’ll tell you what you get! you get what you fuckin’ deserve! ❜

❛ my mother always tells me to smile and put on a happy face. ❜

❛ she told me I had a purpose: to bring laughter and joy to the world. ❜

❛ I’m waiting for the punchline. ❜

❛ there is no punchline. ❜

❛ is something funny? ❜

❛ I just thought of a funny joke! ❜

❛ nobody’s civil anymore. ❜

❛ comedy is subjective, isn’t that what they say? ❜

❛ they don’t give a shit about people like you. and they don’t give a shit about people like me either. ❜

❛ everybody’s telling me my stand-ups, are ready for the big clubs. ❜

❛ I killed those guys because they were awful. ❜

❛ everybody is awful these days. ❜

❛ it’s enough to make anyone crazy. ❜

❛ I had a bad day. ❜

❛ were you following me today? ❜

❛ ugh, why is everybody so upset about these guys? ❜

❛ if it was me dying on the sidewalk you’d walk right over me! ❜

❛ I pass you everyday and you don’t notice me! ❜

❛ do I look like the kind of clown that can start a movement? ❜

❛ you know I do stand-up comedy, you should come see a show sometime. ❜

❛ I could do that. ❜

❛ all that sacrifice, she must love you very much. ❜

❛ touch my son again and I’ll fucking kill you! ❜

❛ is this a joke to you? ❜

❛ I feel like I know you… I’ve been watching you forever. ❜

❛ would you please stop bothering my kid? ❜

❛ the whole city’s on fire 'cause of you. ❜