Jumbled thoughts

As you cut more deeply

My demons eat me alive

But how can they stop

You call me cookie,

The sweet nickname you gave me,

Am I invisible

Or just alone

Floating endlessly

Two puzzle pieces, you and I,

And I want so desperately to fit together,

I crave away at me,

Force myself to slot into place,

I look in the mirror,

You who paint your cheeks with stardust 

and dance among pale beams of light,

a constellation scattered across your skin. 

You whose eyes hold galaxies

Dark lashes framing their light

and in your smile the shimmer of stars.

You who can lighten any darkness

and bring warmth to the coldest of nights

Your soul a shining star.

You who creates joy

and lifts sprites

 A light too bright to be dimmed.

You who means more than you will ever know

Eyes are unseeing

I learnt to cry silently

Please do not hurt me

My soul is much too fragile 

I look up to you,

And you look down on me,

I am eternally eclipsed by your shadow,

Yet grateful to have someone near,

Smiling all the time

The mask can never come off

This painful longing

Oh to be with you once more

We grew up together fingers intertwined 

We swapped tales of bitter stings and shimmering stars

We laughed till our lungs burned and faces reddened 

We stayed up till the moon welcomed us in its' glow.

You went out to find adventure and danger

You spoke of fame, fortune and flirtation

You met with monsters and danced with shadows

You infused yourself with poison and passion.

I confine myself within my walls of routine

I tire myself through endless hours

I settle in the sunlight of my solitude

 I find comfort pressed between these pages.

We no longer talk of days littered with stardust

You fall victim to the darkness you invited in

I hear of your shadows and offer a match in the inky depths

We find the solution but your demons whisper sweetly.

We are forgotten to each other, lost to the distance time brings

You say meaningless words of dull comfort and false regret

I release weary breaths that have been held for too long

We become fog gathered in the corners of the others mind.

We are not the we from our past

We have out grown one an other

We are separate now

But how can I do this when