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you should be able to say “fuck if i know” to customers

I looooove going the speed limit. the people behind me sure don't tho

im going 45 in a 45 and the guy behind me's like i hope she never sees the gates of heaven

@death2america

i eat 15 apples for breakfast then drive myself to the hospital just to watch the doctors get blasted backward into the drywall bc they cant withstand my aura

cant get sentences like this anywhere else

you see me on the front lawn in a short skirt and pom poms whooping and hollering and performing a complex cheer routine—the whole time staring straight up at the night sky. several quadrillion miles away, a black hole starts sucking in stars just a little bit faster

idk why people say "sleep is for the weak" like....ok maybe to YOU.... to ME sleep is for the cozy....like stfu maybe if you went honk mimimimimi honk mimimimimi you'd calm down

I am deeply saddened by the fact that I was not born into the era of love letters

What are you, a fucking pussy? Write the love letters your goddamn self