sweet coraline ☆

going to be switching accounts methinks!

4 old friends now reach out to me to be friends with me again and truthfully it. scares me every time

one of them was only pretending to be my friend and gave me a safe space to talk about things and then shared a lot of my incredibly vulnerable vents and that fucked with me so so badly

another stopped being my friend out of pure guilt

and another cut me off due to mental health

one of them im still friends with but its so hard to trust them even though they didnt do anything

but im scared all of these people are just setting me up, letting me talk about things just to share them

im so paranoid

i hate that i cant trust people the way i used to anymore. i don't let myself get close to people because it scares me so much. i don't let people know too much about me or get too close with me because i know it's just going to be another friendship that i'll inevitably fuck up

it's no one's fault but my own

someone who knows my situation - someone who, even though might be mad, still understands that i'm hurting too, and that im just as human as anyone else

i don't have the resources i need. i don't have help. i've been fighting everything on my own, i've been dealing with disorders such as DID since i was maybe 7-8. it's horrifying.

i'm so exhausted. life is wearing me down and it's only a matter of time until i crack again

i want someone to still have that faith in me

i don't have that faith in myself, i haven't had that in years.

but maybe if i hear it from enough people, maybe i'll be able to.

4 old friends now reach out to me to be friends with me again and truthfully it. scares me every time

one of them was only pretending to be my friend and gave me a safe space to talk about things and then shared a lot of my incredibly vulnerable vents and that fucked with me so so badly

another stopped being my friend out of pure guilt

and another cut me off due to mental health

one of them im still friends with but its so hard to trust them even though they didnt do anything

but im scared all of these people are just setting me up, letting me talk about things just to share them

im so paranoid

i hate that i cant trust people the way i used to anymore. i don't let myself get close to people because it scares me so much. i don't let people know too much about me or get too close with me because i know it's just going to be another friendship that i'll inevitably fuck up

it's no one's fault but my own

someone who knows my situation - someone who, even though might be mad, still understands that i'm hurting too, and that im just as human as anyone else

i don't have the resources i need. i don't have help. i've been fighting everything on my own, i've been dealing with disorders such as DID since i was maybe 7-8. it's horrifying.

i'm so exhausted. life is wearing me down and it's only a matter of time until i crack again