Public Journal

I’m not rich enough to be a lesbian

I haven’t been on here in a minute. I miss tumblr.

The person I was/am w is the kind of person to know something is extremely important to me & I need to wake up on time but bc it doesn’t matter to him, he would see that I over slept, wake up before me & let me sleep in. Then when I wake up & ask why they seen I overslept & didn’t wake me their response would be “that’s not my responsibility” to which I would say “I know it isn’t but you know how much this means to me” to which he would say “then you should’ve gotten up earlier” & while he isn’t wrong I think when you love someone (which I clearly know now is not the case) then you want for them what they want for themselves even if it isn’t necessarily a gain for you. You don’t know how many times I would wake them up if I thought they might run late for work or simply bc they didn’t set an alarm for themselves for something but I did. BECAUSE I CARE & as a partner, what’s important to you is important to me. Even if it wasn’t something like work, it would be his fight is on early & I know how much he doesn’t want to miss it so if I happen to be up first I would wake him up to remind him. I don’t really look for comfort or safety in this person anymore but until I get away, sometimes the painful reminders of how little he cares about me haunts me.