aphelion

The world slowed to a stop, the squeaking of shoes against polished wood, the laughter and bustle of students going on their ways, the beating of your heart, it all vanished in an instant.

There were a hundred other things you speculated Suna to say to you when he asked you to meet him at the gym. You figured he was finally going to utter the three words you had been dying to hear, or tell you he was going to the same university as you, or really anything other than the words that came out of his mouth.

“You- what?” It was a dumb question to ask, you figured that by the annoyance that flashed in his eyes. When had his gaze gotten so uncomfortable?

Suna took a step closer to you and you fought the urge to step back. Chest to chest you face one another his hands nonchalantly brushing your hair from your shoulder and then cupping your cheek, but the feeling makes you grit your teeth.

There’s no warmth in his gesture, the way he slowly bends down and brushes his lips against you ear, it makes you shudder. It makes you confused and sad and furious.

“I. Never. Loved. You.” His words are repeated, punctuated with a tone of disinterest and he pull back, stone face unwavering even as trails of hot tears race down your cheeks.

“Yesterday, we-“

“It was a bet. And now that’s it’s over let’s stop this stupid game, I’ve got other idiots to worry about.” His words should hurt more than they do, but the truth shocks you enough to numb you. Over his shoulder his teammates are whispering to each other, Atsumu, your enemy wears a proud smirk, and you feel sick to your stomach. So it was true.

“You’re a trash person. Scum. Despicable. I hope you have your heart torn to shreds when you fall head over heels with someone. Don’t ever speak to me again, Rin. I hat- fuck you.”

The blonde-haired male sitting in the passenger seat let out a loud groan. The compact sedan was perhaps a bit modest on the vertical space it offered, but by no means was it that uncomfortable, Atsumu just liked to complain. But no amount of whining from the big baby could detract from the great day set out ahead of you, so you responded with a sweet smile and playfully rolled your eyes.

“Why would I take you to your neighborhood to get rid of you?”

Atsumu perked up at that. The kilowatt smirk spreading over his lips and making him dangerously handsome, not that you would ever admit that out loud. No one needed to inflate that man child’s ego.

“Hold up, what do ya mean by that?” There was suspicion in his tone as he leaned over the middle console. Personal space was a concept you two were still working on, ever since you took over the management role of the volleyball team Atsumu had struggled to understand the concept and the small car certainly wasn’t helping, but you kept your eyes forward on the road.

“I mean that you talk too much, and I didn’t ask you to come along, you volunteered Sumu.” The playfulness was gone and that at least earned you an unimpressed snort, he obviously didn’t like that answer, and you very obviously didn’t care. Today was not about Miya Atsumu, nor was it about you, it was about the kids you were on your way to visit.

The kids who dreamed so vividly and spoke so passionately and displayed an unshakable kindness even when the world had not treated them in kind. The past six years you had visited the orphanage on Christmas Eve and spent the day doing crafts and passing out gifts, and this year Atsumu decided he was going to tag along.

Something about you being scammed , and something-something about him being bored, anything to save his pride really. As long as he was on his best behavior you didn’t mind, the more company the merrier.

The drive was a bit longer and Atsumu’s frequent whining had drawn it on, but soon enough the red roof of the orphanage was in view and the excitement was radiating off you. The visitor spot was yours to take and no sooner had you put the car in park were you jumping out and hugging the orphanage director. An older woman of short stature that always gave a good sturdy hug.

“Y/N! It’s so great to see you, we’ve all been so excited for Christmas Eve, your smile warms all of us up during these freezing days!”

“I’ve missed you all so much!” You returned the affectionate squeeze she gave you before pulling away and motioned to the clambering idiot behind you,” I brought a friend, the one who plays volleyball, you remember?” And she certainly did, mischief twinkled in those aged eyes of hers as she nodded and waved to Atsumu who took a casual stance beside you.

“Ah, the volleyball player, I take it?” She asked as she wrapped him in a hug he tried to reject. Warmth took to your cheeks and you let out an uncomfortable cough, the trademark Miya smirk filled your vision as Atsumu took to introducing himself.

“Miya Atsumu, but it seems you’ve heard all aboutme.”

“Hardly-“ “I certainly have heard quite a bit! Your achievements are certainly impressive, and I’m inclined to believe them because your arms are as bi-“

“You know introductions are great and all, but short and sweet is really the way to go. Let’s talk inside!” You interjected, throwing the director a look of exasperation that made her chuckle as she sent an obvious wink your way. A groan left your lips and it was the sound of their shared amusement that heralded your arrival.

When you entered the main room of the orphanage the children working on various projects all stopped to look at you. There was a moment of silence as you were given a chance to catch your breath before the kids were upon you. All at once they scrambled out of their seats, abandoning the projects they were working on to run to you. A chorus of “Y/N-San” and “we missed you” echoed in the room as you gave everyone their overdue hugs and followed the group of kids to sit at one of the tables and appraise the snowflakes they were crafting.

A much smaller and more curious group of kids approach Atsumu and the director as you’re occupied,” Are you Y/N’a boyfriend?” “Are you the star?” “Oh you have big arms!” “Can you lift me?”

The questions fire off as they circle around him, the director steps back and offers an encouraging pair of thumbs up to him. Atsumu isn’t sure which question to answer first so he just offers a, “Yes to all of the above.” And the squealing of the older girls tells him it was the appropriate answer.

“Y/N-San always talks about volleyball to us! And says ‘it’s a good thing the captain is handsome’” They giggle and lead Atsumu to a table they’ve claimed for themselves.

“The captain is very handsome, and wise, and good at everything, Y/N is telling the truth.” He chimes in chuckling to himself and participated in making snowflakes without being urged to. This sort of thing was a nice change of pace from the usual day-to-day busy schedule.

Making snowflakes turned into creating gingerbread houses. Atsumu and you led two separate teams. At the behest of Atsumu most of the time and materials were spent trying to sabotage the other house rather than focusing on the project at hand. By the end of the house making the teams had joined forces, a bit more frosting made its way to Atsumu’s face but as you all stepped back to appraise your handiwork a solid house had been erected in the name of peace and teamwork.

“Are you ready to open the presents Y/N and Atsumu-San brought today?” A worker calls out drawing the attention of the kids. They all issue their various forms of “yes” and run off to wash off their hands.

“You fit in with the kids pretty well, ‘Tsumu.” You tease and bump your hip against his. Atsumu gives a hearty chuckle and nods his head.

“I’m learning so much about how much you love the captain of the volleyball team.” He teases back, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. You open your mouth to retort but the return of the kids has your attention immediately redirecting to them, and Atsumu takes the chance to back off towards the perimeter of the room.

The children gathered around the low circular table in the center of the large room. Each of their faces lit up with joy, excitement sparkling in their eyes as you passed out presents to them all. The adults gathered around the table were fueling the excitement with their words of appreciation and gentle reminders for the children to mind their manners. The director stood near the door, un imposing as usual but watched with pride and kindness on her face as she mouthed a ‘Thank You’ when your eyes met.

Across the room the rising star Miya relaxed against a windowsill. His mischievous eyes looking out past the hillside, snow had started sprinkling from the sky and it made him giddy.

The sound of bubbling laughter and unbridled joy drew his eyes back to the center of the room. Where they immediately focused on the woman who had unknowingly crept into his life and his heart.

You. That’s all the stood out to him among the group of people. The way your smile stretched your lips, the cute wrinkle in your nose as you tilted your head back slightly to laugh. How your eyes sparkled with the excitement of a kid on Christmas, and how relaxed you were, how comfortable you looked. Atsumu could feel his own lips tugging into a smile as he watched you, and when your eyes met he felt his heart tug so strongly in that moment it winded him and all he could offer in response to a quirked eyebrow was a half-hearted smirk.

There was no denying it anymore.

And when it came time to part with the kids he offered them a warm goodbye. It was your turn to watch in awe as the usually sarcastic and infuriating Ace opened his heart a little bit to the kids of the orphanage, accepting their send-offs and squeezing the Director so warmly it made butterflies explode in your stomach.

The chill of winter brought you to closer as you made your way to the car, the falling snowflakes were large and created an idyllic scene for the two of you.

“You were staring earlier.” You point out for no reason except to catch him off guard.

“Probably.” He admitted and you made an impressed sound in the back of your throat, that was unexpected,” You were drooling earlier.”

There he was. A blush crept on your face and you turned away from his eyes as he let out a chuckle,” Probably not. I wouldn’t drool over you!”

“Wanna test that theory, cutie?” He teased unzipping his hoodie and pulling at the hem of his shirt. Your eyes widen and your grabbing his hands out of reflex, your heart beating wildly at the contact.

“I don’t need a show, ‘Tsumu!”

“We can count it as an early Christmas present.” He laughs out and wraps your hands in his, he easily pulls your hands free but brings you closer to him.

“You tagging along today was a gift already.” You murmur softly, eyes trailing up to meet his and you can tell what’s coming by the way his eyes flicker along your features.

“Are you just trying to butter me up so I’ll drive us back home?” He whispers, the warmth of his words swirling against your lips.

“Maybe, is it working?”

“I don’t know-“ “How about this?” You rock onto your tip toes and meet your lips with his. The kiss is soft and sweet, and time seems to freeze as the snowflake fall slowly around the two of you. The cold isn’t an issue as he pulls you tight against him, he’s warm, and stable and holds you like he never intends on letting go.

Anxiety was like poison coursing through your veins. A cartoon-esque devil that sat comfortably on upon your shoulder, whispering vicious lies of the inevitable doom that was arriving on the horizon. A feeling of panic that gripped your lungs, weighing on your chest, every inhale felt like the ten labors of Hercules, and every exhale like your dying breath. 

But that was the price of the decision you had made. Or at least that’s what you had convinced yourself. Was it truly a decision? 

37.

It was the length of the taxi ride from your home to the airport and the number of times you questioned your choice. There was nothing decisive about it, and the fear of regret had your wide-eyed gaze searching the gate of the airport, for what you weren’t sure.

But seeing the mix of people coming and going, oblivious to the distress you were experiencing, was humbling. The next exhale felt like relief, and the whispers of doom eased as you grounded yourself in the comforting bustle of your surroundings. Everyone around you was on some sort of journey or another. Families parted with affectionate hugs and an abundance of tears, women in business attire ran past the gates as the last call of their flights were announced, and others sat with eyes glued to their phones and leg bouncing with anticipation as you were. The realization that you weren’t special, that you weren’t on some grand expedition that’d spell disaster for your future if this wasn’t the right decision, was relieving.

“Now boarding group A for the flight to Los Angeles...” 

The call came at the perfect time; your anxiety had turned into anticipation. The nuance of each feeling was important, doubt lingered in the recesses of your mind, but the novelty of starting over was lessening the ache of your heart.

“Now boarding group B...” 

You stood slowly, stretching away the tension that coiled your muscles, and grabbed the single bag you had packed earlier that morning. From a slightly open front pocket slipped a thin glittering chain threaded through a simple yet elegant band. 

“What is this?” Your giggle drew a deep blush to the usually calm Akaashi, and he shuffled uncomfortably under your playful gaze.

“A promise.” His answer was simple, but the look in his eyes carried the weight and meaning beyond those words. A promise to love you until he couldn’t anymore. 

“When did you turn into such a softy?”

“If you don’t wan-“ He reached for the ring, a hint of exasperation in his tone, but you jerked your hand back, twirling out of his reach, and held it up to see it glitter in the sunlight.

“I love you, and I’ll love you up to the very last second before I curse your name into the night.”

Forever wasn’t tangible; it had never been a thing you promised each other. Maybe it was cynicism masked by a pragmatism, but it was the language you spoke together.

“Miss, are you alright?” Blinking once and twice, you looked up at the attendant who offered a worried smile,” Is everything okay? Do you need assistance?” She asked, and you shook your head, still in a daze. Your hand closed over the chain as you stood, eyes looking back down at the ring.

“Y/N!” Time froze for a moment, your heart-wrenching in your chest, as you turned to face the boy you were trying to run away from. Tears brimmed your eyes as you looked at him, took in his beautiful face, the red tint of exhaustion on his cheeks, and the sweat that had decorated the edges of his face. 

You looked back down to the ring in your hand, squeezing your fist around it and holding it to your thrumming heart, squeezing your eyes shut. Damn you Akaashi.

When you open them again, the bright lights sting momentarily, and you nod your head. Eyes cast out to the bustling sea of people, none who spared you a second glance or called out your name; you weren’t special, after all. The clatter of metal on metal is your final shout into the void, your hand is free from the weight of baseless hope, and you turn your back on your doubts.