The Daily(ish) Vent Sesh

I’m sure that there are many more people who I've hurt but I want to say that I’m sorry to them all. If someone out there is actually reading this, my advise to you is don’t regret the choices you’ve made because once that's exactly what you wanted... But you can apologise because I believe that regret and apologising don’t have to be linked. Everything that I've done I don't regret but I am genuinely sorry for hurting the people that are and have been close to me, that includes physically, emotionally or mentally.

This is what I find pathetic, the fact that she has the audacity to text me and then conveniently not show up to school the next day. I know that people will probably read this and think that I'm jumping to conclusions but she has done this many times before. Jade cannot face her problems, instead she hides behind the screen of her phone. This is why I feel the need to put her outside of her comfort zone and do it face to face. I know that she’ll back out because she can’t handle it.... I just hope that no one will hold me back

Vent #9 ~ Lessons I have learnt from artists I've decided I'm going to do a series of these lessons I have learnt from either music artists lyrics or what they have said. I just want to say that I am a promotional person of these people but I do highly recommend you listen to them. So first artist is a rapper named Witt Lowry. The first song I listened to was 'I Could Be'. I cannot find a better song to introduce people to his music. The lyric that I love from this song is "I never said I was perfect. See, I never clamed to be. 'cause perfect is perception, perception is all that they can see." I love this because it tells us that perfection is only what you see in someone, it's a false identity that people hide behind, and it can vary from one person's view to another. Next song is called 'Youth'. This song, like many others, have so many lyrics I could talk about but word limit so part 2? Anyway "It's crazy how we go through life and take for granted each day But hey things change, and people change And that's just a part of life, don't believe it will stay the same Love with everything you got and don't anticipate the pain Because today is the day that your whole world could just... Change". I chose this one because in this generation we have to go with the flow. Everything around us is changing and we cant help it. And it's not just the technology and architecture that's changing, it's people to... So we have to try our hardest to keep up with everything otherwise we'll get left behind. Last one for Witt, I'll let you discover him, is 'Look Alive'. "Sometimes I, don't wanna wake up Because dreams is what we're made of And we live in a world, where fake girls, take fake drugs, make fake love Damn where's the real at You can't tell me you don't feel that". We cannot deny that this generation is full of barbies and ken's. There are do many of us who act fake and not who we truly are. I can relate to trying to sleep through reality because dreams are so much better.

Vent #8 ~ reflecting As a new year comes, the time comes to reflect on the past one. I made this account to basically bitch about whoever I want, as a last resort, but this time it's different... This time I'm reflecting on 2016 and a bit of 2015. Lately ive been bitching about Jade and venting about her childish ways but I'm going to talk about what she's taught me. 1. Sometimes family can't work it out, even if they're not blood. This was probably the one that hit me the hardest because when I realised that this was a reality, it became a reality... Not just her and I, but her and her 'big bro' and my father and I and Its okay to push peopIe away. if their shit is effecting you in anyway, it's okay to get rid of that negativity. The last thing anyone needs is someone who always pulls them down. And I'm not saying that you should kick them out if they are down from time to time but there's a point when enough is enough. 2. No matter how much it sounds like a good idea, if you're not 18 or so don't ditch your family over Christmas holidays. Don't get me wrong, doing this was a great experience but family is all you have that no matter how much it doesn't work, you can't get rid of them. 3. It's okay to completely snap the rules to shatters. I'm not saying go out and do drugs, have sex and get wasted.. I'm saying that if you don't take risks then you won't have any experiences to learn from. And plus this is a great way to get to figure who you are as a person (we'll get to this story in another vent) 4. short story time!! I believe that I got brought up to the best of my parents abilities. I wasn't brought up around drugs or people who are 'bad' in societys eyes. But Jade introduced me to this otherside of life. I have never hit a bong or smoked a joint but I now know people who do. And I know people who have been in juvey and residential care. She showed me that not all of these 'bad people' are bad... Just miss understood. She showed me that I'm lucky to be raised in a household that loves me and doesn't abuse me or hasn't kicked me out. She taught me to be thankful for the little things in life, even if it's that I'm not from a broken home and am safe

As I look around at society, I am discussed to be apart of it. The amount of judgemental and hurtful things that people say about and to eachother is disgraceful. I see people being put down for opening doors and being genuinely polite. Not because they’re “trying to get the girls” or are “a teachers pet” but because they were brought up to be polite towards other people. Then there’s the other half of it when people get judged for their past. It’s not this generation that needs to understand but society as well, they are a different person to who you knew or heard of 5 years back. If you keep on bringing up their past, how are they going to get past it? All they want to do is move forward, and yeah, they may have fucked up in the past but hasn’t everyone?? Okay, so this circle is a special one because we’re about to give it it’s third half… How that works? Idk, but let’s roll with it. Judging people because of the rumours they’ve heard. This really shits me. Just because someone has heard shit about someone and judging them for it, is disgraceful. First of all, it might not even be true… I mean, it is a rumour. And second of all, even if they did, their actions do not define who they are as a person. Just because someone hit another person doesn’t make him a bad person, it might have been in self defence. And just because that chick slept with that guy when she was drunk… Maybe actually realise that the guy was using and basically raping that girl. This generation needs to learn a little bit of respect and some need it more than others

Vent #6 ~ My Father Let's take this venting sesh to a whole new level, a very personal level, let's talk about my father. See, my father and I used to be close as hell, I was his little girl and he was my hero. But that all changed when I was 12. One night I was sick, and in my household if you were sick then you got to sleep in the lounge room, but this time was different, this time my father came and joined me. Being 12 I pretended to be asleep, he asked me if I was watching Drastic Park and I didn't reply, so he turned it off and went to sleep. I found myself thinking of the worse possible outcome that may happen. Then I told myself to stop being silly, mum and dad wouldn't get a divorce. 2 days later that became a reality. Now I could bore you with the details of moving my father from house to house because his rent was up but instead, I'm going to tell you about the shit his done, because this is what I need to vent about. So first, he said that the furtherest he would move away is half an hour... He now lives 2 hours away. I would share the next one to you but you don't need to know about my father's sex life. Anyway, I would never hurt you... Another promise that he broke. He didn't physically hurt me but he might aswell have. Long story short, he told me, at the age of 13, that he had thought about killing himself a couple of months before that conversation. This was probably the worst day of my life. See, the thing that Jade and my father have in common is that they both have a habit of turning it around and making you look like the bad guy, and putting words into your mouth. No matter how much I dislike my father, him saying that I wouldn't care if he got hit by a train, comes in at a close second worst day. I mean, yeah, we have our differences and we hardly talk but I wouldn't wish that upon my worst enemy. Apparently, Tumblr has a longer word limit then instagram so you guys get the extended version. "You'll always be my little girl". Probably the most bullshit sentence I have heard out of his mouth. See, in my eyes I've been replaced. My father has a girlfriend that he loves but the family hates, and her daughter has replaced me. He always sees her and he knows her in a way that he doesn't even know his own kids. For Christmas and her birthday she gets presents but I get money, I mean I'm not complaining about the fact that it's money but it would be nice if he showed me that he knows me and actually put some effort into gifting. Now this is the one that really shits me, the fact that he said that he wouldn't talk shit about my mother around us kids but then posting a status on their official divorce day, complaing on how she's celebrating her freedom. He blocked her so he couldn't see the things that she posts but still, he thinks he has the right to bitch about her on a public forum that his children can see. I don't want this to go on forever so this will be my last one... "your mother and I will still remain friends". Yeah, well your girlfriend fucked that up for ya didn't she. On top of all of his childish behaviour, his girlfriends input was not needed.

Vent #5 ~ Number 1 pet hate Okay, so this is probably my biggest pet hate... When someone tells you that they need to tell you something but they can't because they don't want to lose you, or piss you off, or whatever other excuses they can make up. Seriously, if you're going to tell me that, then don't tell me at all. Don't tell me that it's going to piss me off or you're scared you're going to loes me over it because, tbh, I would rather find out from you then find out from someone else and at lease if you told me up front, you might still have a chance to make things work. If it was that bad who would you rather tell me? You, and you can explain what and why? Or for me to hear it from someone else who doesn't know why you did it and can't justify your actions?

Vent #4 ~ heartbreak Everyone knows the meaning of heartbreak. The feeling you get after breaking up with a partner... But it can be taken to a whole new level when it happens with a best friend I'm here to vent my heart way so hopefully someone can learn from this and so I can read back and not go back to that place where I am led to believe that I need them to be happy... Because in reality, if I was happy before I met them then I can be happy without them. STORY TIME So here comes the name Jade again (for those who don't know the name, look at my Hypocrite vent)... We used to be sisters but there was much more behind her not practicing what she preached, way more. I ditched my family last year over Christmas and New Years to spend it with her family. It was an amazing experience but it was hard on Christmas day 😂 Anyway, by this time we've had pitty fights.. Mainly about boys.. But here is the difference between me and her. I take criticism and build on it, I take it and try and make myself a better me... Even if one of my other mates (Let's call her Q, short for queen) and many others (like Rose and Lia) told me that what she was saying was a load of bullshit. Anyway, she can't take criticism and confrontation. She just turns around and says "this is irrelevant". See, everything had to be about Jade... And whenever I needed support somehow she always had something else on. Don't get me wrong, at the start she was my sister.. We were closer then close and her family was like mine. But recently I realised that I don't need her to be happy, that after everything she's put me through it's not worth going back. That, yes, it was great while it lasted but if all Jade is giving me is pain then maybe it's better to let her go... That maybe it's going to hurt more to hold on than to let go

Vent #3~ Labels In this generation, everyone has to have a label... We use these labels to 'understand' people and help fit them into a certain friendship group. In this case, it can be semi helpful but it's gotten out of hand. In one of my other venting posts, I explained the difference between depression and being depressed, that's just one example of being melodramatic with these 'labels'. Don't get me wrong, I know people who legitimately have ADHD, Bipolar, Depression, Anxiety, Dyslexia and many more, but we as a generation no longer understand what these conditions actually are. Instead we are using them as labels so we can 'fit people into where they belong'. Besides the obvious problems with this labelling system, majority if these don't reflect to who the person actually is. Instead, it reflects their past or how someone else views them, usually these come from the 'populars' or 'plastics' of their grade or school. These label giving groups use this to build some sort of hierarchy. Luckily, my grade doesn't really have a 'hierachy'. We have two main groups where one is more popular than the other but both groups still bond. However, these labels are still present. Not by those who are a bit more popular but the person themselves. They give themselves a label of having depression or anxiety, or even being a hoe, whore or slut, or any other degrading names they can think of. Personally, I don't understand why they do this. Why they would put themselves down in such away that could have a negative impact on their lives, why in this generation being a slut or a whore is a good thing, why they're trying to get attention and pitty from having a mental condition that they don't actually have.

1. Don't smoke 2. Don't have sex 3. Never change who you are for someone else 4. Always stay in contact 5. Don't turn into a druggo 6. Never do anything with a guy you just met 7. Never treat someone with hate or violate them in any way There were many more but you get the point In March this year, she broke one of those (no.6) so, out of anger, I broke one as well (no.1). She got ticked off so I stopped... It took me a while but I quit. Jade kept on breaking these rules that she set for me, and not like this matters but she's a year younger then me. The other night she broke the rule that she was hard on me for... Whenever I went to go to see our friends, that she introduced me to, without her she reminded me not to do drugs... And I always listened. She broke her own rule, she's up seeing her cousin's and she snapchated me saying that she had smoked 3 joints and had a hash cookie the previous night. I got ticked off at this so I confronted her about it. I said to her that I didn't appreciate her sending me pictures of her stealing a bit of hoes for a bong and her egging people, houses and cars. Her reply to that was "all I saw was irrelevant s***". So I've cut her out of my life. I'll have to face her at school when we go back but that's her problem. I have my own values and beliefs and I will stick by them no matter what anyone else thinks of them or how much anyone tries to change them for me. I will no longer let her take control of my life and I'll do what I want, I'll take my own risks, and I'll live my life to the fullest. Even though I highly dislike Jade, she taught me to live life how you want and not how someone wants you to live it, that it's okay to push friends out especially when they have a negative impact on you.

In this generation it seems like every second person has depression, but in reality not all of those people actually have it, they are only going through a phase of being depressed. They don't understand that having depression is a serious thing that shouldn't be used to label a person, instead it should be used for it's original purpose and that is to diagnose a person with a mental condition that just means that they need a little help and support so they can be able to enjoy life.