I Just Am

The same justice system that let Zimmerman, chow and rittenhouse walk while they took lives senselessly, jailed Anthony for defending himself.

It really do be the chemicals.

There’s a reason I took a pause on researching. Listen ladies and gents, wait till you’re 35 at least to have kids. They will stop your greatness if you’re not careful. 🥲. I love my bug, ain no momma betta than me for him, I’m also disabled in many ways and cannot both have my dreams and be his mom. Is it possible, hell fucking yes, if you have the capacity and resources, but if not you gon have to sacrifice. To prevent that sacrifice give yourself time to study and explore the things YOU want to do before you settle down. You won’t know yourself enough before then. You think you will but I promise you, every damn year till then you’re gonna have these realizations that you won’t have until you get there. Your likes change. Your wants and needs changes as your body changes. Give yourself a chance at happiness outside of relying on another human being.

Focus. You’re doing research to know what the freak is about to happen to you. Don’t lose the plot babygirl. 🥲

Every piece of information absorbed by your senses since you were in your mother’s womb is circulating in your body. Every time she flinched, it mapped to your nervous system. Every time she felt anything, you felt it too. What was around her was around you before you were in the world. Who are you? A sum of data you were never taught to sift through. You were never given the choice to accept or reject. The best thing you can do is be brave enough to think for yourself. To push the confines of your understanding. And don’t be afraid to be wrong. To be “stupid” or ask the question. People can’t really answer shit for you because they’re tryna figure out how they’re going to eat and where they’ll sleep. Trying to meet their needs. Cortisol already fucking up how reliable and logical their responses are gonna be. You gotta go get this shit for you at any cost. You wanna be better, JUST DO IT.

😭

You can’t change certain biological factors but you can reduce symptomology by changing chemistry. Stress reduction is so important. When you get this you see how this fuck ass country just wanna kill us dead. 1 in 4 people in America are considered disabled in some way and disability rights can’t even take a shit. It’s constipated because people don’t want to acknowledge that this system is crushing us. This way of life filled with abuse of power and the robbing of autonomy is killing us. It’s annoying that it has to get to the point where lives are lost. Not annoying. ANGERING. wtf.

You know what gets me so vex. White supremacists and the banks behind world leaders already know this stuff and use it against us right now. The way they structure laws and governments. They literally sitting there like haha bitches, I set shit up to dysregulate your brains so you’d kill each other. MUAHHAHAHAHHAHA.

A regulated brain will always be better than one that is not. It will use more reasoning. It will be slower to impulsivity. And better as in balanced. Weighing. If you know why shit is making you behave inside, you get to start learning how to control yourself. It’s the fucking chemicals bro. Then you add behavioral science in there and you get to see why you behave the way you do and that you don’t even gotta move like that. As someone who has so many different identities inside, I got to see how bad thoughts affected me when I didn’t know they aren’t true versus when I realized I didn’t have to accept those thoughts. I did not know until I learned about how chemicals affect the brain. How it influences the type of thoughts you have in there. Where they come from in the first place. Negative thoughts are based on data absorbed by the senses to the brain. If you’re around shitty people you will fight way more shitty thoughts and impulses than someone who is not. And if you don’t know those thoughts are accepted by you as yourself when it’s just residual data from your environment. You active have to say fuck that.