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i can feel a little silly about having thoughts about a video game but frankly i think it's hard not to have something to say about a thing you spent 100 hours with
and if you spend 100 hours with something and truly have nothing to say about it, then that's an indictment of the thing that's so profound that i truly think it's impossible to recover from.
climb on my back brother. stow your goods in my baskets. i'm headed this way anyway. just trying to get this carrot, you see. although it has eluded me
most effective actual roleplaying experience i've experienced since disco elysium has given me free rein in many areas of my personality and choices, but one truth is incontrovertible: i Must be a horny frat boy.
obviously this is an indictment of the writing and not of the character, it's the writers' choice to do this, i think the reason i'm struggling with it is it feels so out of place. it's genuinely immersion breaking. like everything else in the game is so good at making me think about who i am in this setting and why i'm doing what i'm doing that i bump up against something that's CLEARLY Some Bullshit and i end up spending a not insignificant amount of time going "is this just another aspect of my character?" instead of immediately arriving at the occam's razor conclusion that this is a misogyny bone being tossed to the gamers who will leave a negative review if they can't have sex with a pretty girl at least once per hour of playtime.
i keep thinking about disco elysium when i think about kcd2 even though they're obviously very different experiences, but i think it's because they both hit the sweet spot of roleplaying for me - i am simply not engaged unless a good chunk of what i'm doing is feeling out who i am, not just who i want to be. and disco elysium is one of the most brutally efficient games i've ever played in terms of letting you know who you are. by the time you get down the stairs in the whirling in rags you already know you are (or at least were) an irredeemable piece of shit, and that's a lot of what makes kim kitsuragi's introduction so impactful (here's a guy who will die to protect you, and more often than not debase himself to help you, scum that you are). if you're most people, you probably spend a lot of the course of the game clawing any shred of decency you can manage back from the ever-present jaws of harry's addictions and trauma. harry is a misogynist and a racist and a violent man, a deeply confused jumble of ideologies and extremes, and trying to play him as anything else is always an uphill battle, and an active process of cultivating his better angels.
i think kcd2 struggles more with the balance on player character characterization than on most of its other character writing. while there are some things you can't control, generally the game seems to prioritize giving you a lot of sway over henry's moral compass and the tone he takes with different groups of people. instead of using world states like bioware has tried to do in its various trilogies, kcd2 also tries to let you define your past actions in a handful of non-consequential conversations scattered throughout the game. in the very first dialogue of the game, it lets you make a decision about how much of a party animal frat boy you are, and while it will lightly chide you if you say something "out of character", it doesn't stop you from doing so.
in short, it's not that often that you're told "you were, definitionally, this kind of person before this point". so when the game suddenly limits how you can interact with certain people - women, say, or istvan toth - it's making a grab back at reins that it already more or less handed over to you. no matter what other protests you've made in the past or in other dialogues, about how you're not really that big into the partying and the sleeping around, or about how you're trying to be less vengeful, or anything like that, occasionally the game still says "that's nice, but not true". and i think i would have less problem with that if the game had just told me in no uncertain terms that that was who i was, instead of letting me decide sometimes and then revoking that decision at others.
Hey guys you should totally get into this thing i like. Yeah it's mid at best. It also aged poorly. You'll get nothing out of it at all. You'll like the idea of it more than the actual thing. But at least only takes half your natural lifespan to finish it
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"rpg" is a meaningless term in video games, it essentially boils down to "game where you play an in-world character and have dialogue options from time to time". and this can span from games where you have little to no agency over story outcomes all the way to games where you have a crazy amount of agency over story outcomes, and everything in between. i personally have never been that engaged with stories where i'm asked to "make a character", including things like personality and background and morality - this fundamentally doesn't interest me, and i always just end up playing some version of myself, but like, as an elf or something. stories that tell me more about who "i" am in the game world and what "i" am doing have always grabbed me more: your disco elysiums, for example, or your OFFs. stories where a large part of the story is discovering who i am, what this world means to me, what i mean to it.
while the player character of kcd2 is much closer to a commander shepard than to a harry dubois, he is constrained enough in what he is in this time and place to convince me to think of "myself" differently, and to act in this world accordingly. and it's not a lot of games that can do that!
this game is a loving work of anthropological-historical fiction, seemingly unconcerned with things like "narrative structure" while still managing to balance on the character writing line between "expositing character traits to you" and "too subtle for its own good". it wastes your time but not too much; it's janky but in a sort of lovable way. the quality of life is right on the borderline. nothing about kcd2 is frictionless or completely polished, but it ends up being sort of charming.
thematically its project is an academic and almost obsessive one, a passion for history and for humanity writ large that comes through in the plot's insistence that you constantly meet with representatives of every broad social stratum and subgroup present in the time and place. if the game has any messages, they are "all people are just people" and "war is a bitch".
it is in fact the game's dedication to taking you around and teaching you and immersing you in the lives of regular people that makes it stand out so ridiculously when the game decides that there are things it doesn't want you digging into. despite the fact that societal misogyny in kcd2's version of 15th century bohemia is markedly less noticeable than it would have been historically, large portions of your dialogue interactions with female characters are restricted to making passes at them; you could argue that this is a form of characterization (though the game is deciding you're attracted to women for you in a way that it doesn't at all do for men, see more below), but it only applies to a subset of women in the game who seem intentionally positioned to be sexual prospects. your player character has no trouble refraining from making such comments towards even women that are around his age if they don't happen to be a specific sort of character: secondary or tertiary NPCs in major questlines, important enough to have names, but not more significant than a quick fling.
as a side note, katherine, a critical member of your team, does most of her necessary (and sick as hell) work offscreen, her efforts silently underpinning all the blood and fire of the male leads' missions. she's shown in the key art with a crossbow, but you can fuck off if you think you'll ever get to see her do any of the cool shit she's apparently constantly doing! the choice to make godwin a deuteragonist instead of katherine is, frankly, baffling, and i still don't really understand why he had to be playable.
similarly the choice to allow you to play your character as being attracted to men, while the game simultaneously provides no access to any member of a "queer community" or similar contemporary, shows where the edges of acceptable historical representation lie for these writers and devs. the game acknowledges that men can be attracted to other men, but has pointedly little to say about it, bad, good, or neutral. it puts no words in your mouth; it allows you no questions, no elaboration, and no real contact. in some settings, normalized queerness is welcome - it's nice not to have it questioned. why would an elf care about if the sex is gay or not? but this is not one of those settings. this time and place are clearly and aggressively christian and heteropatriarchal, so the lack of the ability to question, to search for community, to make connections, to engage with the way queerness could have existed and DID exist, is strangely glaring - especially in contrast with the game's love for delving into all other things social, and in particular, the dynamics of marginalization and oppression at the time. (this isn't even touching on the decision to make one of the only two unavoidably/canonically queer men an irredeemably evil groomer, and the other his much younger lover, portrayed as being in many ways just as unhinged.) (there are, of course, no queer women.)
while the writing in the game overall is pretty great (as is the voice acting for the most part, though the direction...well I'd like to have a word with the voiceover producer/director), this sort of stuff is really distracting to me and kicks it down into the realm of "better than i would've imagined, worse than i would've hoped". overall the character writing is a delight, and i can feel the love that the writers and devs have for history and social dynamics and for the region itself. but, man.
"rpg" is a meaningless term in video games, it essentially boils down to "game where you play an in-world character and have dialogue options from time to time". and this can span from games where you have little to no agency over story outcomes all the way to games where you have a crazy amount of agency over story outcomes, and everything in between. i personally have never been that engaged with stories where i'm asked to "make a character", including things like personality and background and morality - this fundamentally doesn't interest me, and i always just end up playing some version of myself, but like, as an elf or something. stories that tell me more about who "i" am in the game world and what "i" am doing have always grabbed me more: your disco elysiums, for example, or your OFFs. stories where a large part of the story is discovering who i am, what this world means to me, what i mean to it.
while the player character of kcd2 is much closer to a commander shepard than to a harry dubois, he is constrained enough in what he is in this time and place to convince me to think of "myself" differently, and to act in this world accordingly. and it's not a lot of games that can do that!
this game is a loving work of anthropological-historical fiction, seemingly unconcerned with things like "narrative structure" while still managing to balance on the character writing line between "expositing character traits to you" and "too subtle for its own good". it wastes your time but not too much; it's janky but in a sort of lovable way. the quality of life is right on the borderline. nothing about kcd2 is frictionless or completely polished, but it ends up being sort of charming.
thematically its project is an academic and almost obsessive one, a passion for history and for humanity writ large that comes through in the plot's insistence that you constantly meet with representatives of every broad social stratum and subgroup present in the time and place. if the game has any messages, they are "all people are just people" and "war is a bitch".
it is in fact the game's dedication to taking you around and teaching you and immersing you in the lives of regular people that makes it stand out so ridiculously when the game decides that there are things it doesn't want you digging into. despite the fact that societal misogyny in kcd2's version of 15th century bohemia is markedly less noticeable than it would have been historically, large portions of your dialogue interactions with female characters are restricted to making passes at them; you could argue that this is a form of characterization (though the game is deciding you're attracted to women for you in a way that it doesn't at all do for men, see more below), but it only applies to a subset of women in the game who seem intentionally positioned to be sexual prospects. your player character has no trouble refraining from making such comments towards even women that are around his age if they don't happen to be a specific sort of character: secondary or tertiary NPCs in major questlines, important enough to have names, but not more significant than a quick fling.
as a side note, katherine, a critical member of your team, does most of her necessary (and sick as hell) work offscreen, her efforts silently underpinning all the blood and fire of the male leads' missions. she's shown in the key art with a crossbow, but you can fuck off if you think you'll ever get to see her do any of the cool shit she's apparently constantly doing! the choice to make godwin a deuteragonist instead of katherine is, frankly, baffling, and i still don't really understand why he had to be playable.
similarly the choice to allow you to play your character as being attracted to men, while the game simultaneously provides no access to any member of a "queer community" or similar contemporary, shows where the edges of acceptable historical representation lie for these writers and devs. the game acknowledges that men can be attracted to other men, but has pointedly little to say about it, bad, good, or neutral. it puts no words in your mouth; it allows you no questions, no elaboration, and no real contact. in some settings, normalized queerness is welcome - it's nice not to have it questioned. why would an elf care about if the sex is gay or not? but this is not one of those settings. this time and place are clearly and aggressively christian and heteropatriarchal, so the lack of the ability to question, to search for community, to make connections, to engage with the way queerness could have existed and DID exist, is strangely glaring - especially in contrast with the game's love for delving into all other things social, and in particular, the dynamics of marginalization and oppression at the time. (this isn't even touching on the decision to make one of the only two unavoidably/canonically queer men an irredeemably evil groomer, and the other his much younger lover, portrayed as being in many ways just as unhinged.) (there are, of course, no queer women.)
while the writing in the game overall is pretty great (as is the voice acting for the most part, though the direction...well I'd like to have a word with the voiceover producer/director), this sort of stuff is really distracting to me and kicks it down into the realm of "better than i would've imagined, worse than i would've hoped". overall the character writing is a delight, and i can feel the love that the writers and devs have for history and social dynamics and for the region itself. but, man.
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the ven venhediss guide to doing things you don't want to do:
accept that the thing you don't want to do is non-optional and/or an inevitability
understand that dreading, hating, or otherwise having negative feelings about something you have no choice not to do/experience is silly and a waste of your time and energy
the thing is now magically Mostly Neutral instead of Horribly Bad
this doesn't prevent any negative emotions obviously but i find it to be a good cognitive exercise to keep from being TOO frustrated/scared/annoyed/avoidant when it comes to things that i need to do anyways or that i'm not willing to compromise in the abstract.
you want to take a free weekly class, but it will take up a chunk of your evening you'd honestly rather use for other things, and the commute is annoying. in the abstract, though, this is a thing you really want to learn. sign up for the class and accept that the inconveniences are now non-optional - you're not just not going to go to the class. there is now no point in being upset about the commute or anything else bc your other option is to not take the class, and you've already decided you will. done.
exhibit b:
laundry machine in the building is broken so you have to haul your clothes down the street to do laundry at the laundromat. this sucks. your other option is to not do laundry until the building machines are fixed. this is obviously not actually an option because you're out of clean underwear and you want clean clothes, damn it. so there's no point in being that upset about the inconvenience because you don't have any choice but to put up with it for now.
exhibit c:
you want to hang out with your friend but they live like an hour away. that is an annoying commute to make. your other option is to not see your friend. accept the long annoying commute as the price for seeing your friend, a thing you really want to do. the commute is now non-optional and thus not worth being that upset over.
the ven venhediss guide to doing things you don't want to do:
accept that the thing you don't want to do is non-optional and/or an inevitability
understand that dreading, hating, or otherwise having negative feelings about something you have no choice not to do/experience is silly and a waste of your time and energy
the thing is now magically Mostly Neutral instead of Horribly Bad
this doesn't prevent any negative emotions obviously but i find it to be a good cognitive exercise to keep from being TOO frustrated/scared/annoyed/avoidant when it comes to things that i need to do anyways or that i'm not willing to compromise in the abstract.
i do think it's not always clear how artificial the cadence of most voice acting sounds until you watch something where the voice actors were clearly instructed to just speak normally for whatever reason
i mean this is true even of live acting, you don't often see movies or TV shows where everyone just talks normally unless that's the point (reality shows, stuff like dropout programming, etc)
and there are good reasons for that. clear enunciation is important to making sure audiences understand what characters are saying, and that goes above and beyond just audio quality. but also scripted dialogue obviously doesn't reflect the way people actually talk, with the digressions and backchanneling and filler words that are ubiquitous to normal conversation but that our brains filter out as social white noise.
all of that makes it stand out when you hear voice acting that's clearly going for a more natural tone. i remember thinking this about Odd Taxi in particular, that the conversational voice acting direction made the whole thing feel more like a manzai set than an anime, which is obviously stylistically in its favor. but also genuinely i think this will end up being one of the funniest bits in all of KCD2, is opening a scene on two peasants chatting and they just - sound like a couple'a blokes down at the pub. like the voice director mic'd up a couple of techs and told them to just shoot the shit. with the dramatic irony of course being that the plot and all its chaos and elevated stylings is bearing down on them from just offscreen. it's really just so good.
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