hi!

i have dpd as well as a couple other pds so regardless i think their av vs my d is very funny

sometimes pds are so quirkyyyy (i get it, i've been people with bpd's fp before.) it's like the brain loves nothing more than trolling itself

as for advice hm. that's a really a good question... i guess i could say some things i wish people would have done for me.

1) don't assume they don't care

this has hurt me more times than i can count. people constantly assume i do not care when really i am extremely sensitive and anxious.

if you have problems with a person with AVPD, talk about how it makes you feel, don't try and read into their narrative. it is not only accusatory and wrong, but it won't make them suddenly try and put more effort in, either. when i have been in these situations i've doubled down and told them even less about what i was really feeling.

the guilt is, very likely, already eating them alive. and maybe it is a situation they SHOULD feel guilty about; avoidance is rarely pretty. but just... don't think you know what they're thinking, you know?

2) offer to help when you can

i have a terrible time asking for help. a lot of times i wish someone would just look at me, realize i'm a fraud that can't do anything right, and take all my problems away forever. lol.

that's obviously not realistic. that's just Peak Avoidance. and you are not responsible for your friend's mental health. at all.

but if you care about your friend and it's in your resources..., don't immediately assume they know what they're doing. maybe they don't and they're just too scared to ask or admit it.

i know i definitely seem more competent and knowledgeable than i really am. or maybe that's just the inferioty complex that comes for free with your AVPD. who knows. it's confusing.

3) if you feel like they are pulling away from you...

which, given AVPD's symptoms, they might,

don't blame yourself. it is almost never your fault. they are overwhelmed. not with what you are saying or doing, necessarily, but with themselves and their own life. even IF you are part of the problem, that's on them to communicate about it.

i don't know what helps in those situations, i don't have a cure for all. but communication goes a long, long way.

4) fun fact

here's something i feel like you two might actually relate to a lot: feeling like you are inherently unlovable as a person. you just express it in very different ways. a person with dpd will trust other's judgements instead of their own, and a person with avpd will avoid making a judgement altogether.

Thank you in advance

dont apologize its okay, so sorry i got to this late!

personality disorders are usually harder to treat than other mental disorders (because they are ingrained in your... wait for it... personality), but that doesn't mean they can't be. the right support system and time (and a possible mental breakdown i guess? lol) can do a lot. a lot of people get worse before they get better. i don't know if "treatment" is the same as it "fading"/"dissappearing", though, that's kind of a question on its own.

generally, personality disorders aren't seen as a type of neurodivergence. some would argue BPD counts, it's a debated thing. both personality disorders and neurodivergency can result from genetics + environment.

the big difference is that neurodivergency is about the actual structure of the brain and how it processes information - it isn't good or bad by default, though it can obviously make your life harder. but personality disorders are inherently harmful ways of thinking and acting.

obviously i can't diagnose you but i hope this helps clear things up at least somewhat.

Also btw love your avpd comic thingy! Yay to awareness!!

mental illnesses already cause us enough distress, we deserve to be silly with it once in a while i think! /lhj

and yeaaHHH!!! AWARENESS!!! im so mad i never even heard about it before my therapist clocked me. the shock was real, man, i was in total denial for a day before i actually looked at stuff online and went "oh nvm she right" LOL.

and ive seen so many people be like "oh shit!" in the comments of the comic... just like when i made the moral ocd comic. it's a little wild!

AVPD is a personality disorder in cluster C. 34.91% suffer from alcohol dependence. 19.56% suffer from drug dependence. it is NOT the same as social anxiety disorder (SAD). it is NOT a lack of discipline.