XOXO.

she grins, amused by the way her own words sound ( oh, so you're serena van der woodsen! i've heard so much about you ... ), she would hate it if she heard it from other people. she can't tell quite yet if troy bolton is that kind of guy star who loves the sound of his name in other people's mouths, or if he'd rather just vanish into the crowd. then again, ten years ago, serena loved the idea of people recognizing her on the street -- nowadays? she'd rather not hear whatever crazy rumor new york's socialité community has cooked up about her this month.

thus, by the time 2 am strikes on the clock, she confesses to the man that she's known his identity all along. the lounge is half empty by this point, but she has enjoyed his company a lot when they were just two strangers having a drink and chatting about meaningless things.

she laughs, wide grin of pearly teeth displayed as she looks through the rearview mirror of barbie's sparkling pink car. when serena was a child, she used to love pink, but then her mother said neon pink was tacky and so for years, serena didn't wear it. then, she reached fifteen, and she wore a bubblegum pink mess to cotillion -- it was the best moment of her whole year, even if she was high at the moment and could barely speak without twitching her jaw. the stares, the murmurs, the sideway glances at how low her neckline was - it was worth it.

taking a roadtrip down california's highways with barbie roberts is kind of like wearing that pink dress to cotillion while high -- it's exicting, pumps her with adrenaline; it makes her feel alive. maybe it's the way she stands in the convertible and screams at the top of her lungs while music blasts in the stereo, maybe it makes her feel that same rush.

she sits on the edge of the kitchen counter, bare legs dangle and her hands being playing absently with the golden chain around her neck. whenever she's stressed or upset, she will move her hands a lot, it drove her grandmother crazy.

you're prettier when you sit still, serena.

serena was not diagnosed with borderline personality disorder during her teenage years, and will not be until she reaches the age of 31, after a very violent s*icide attempt caused by her inminent terror of aging and losing her beauty, triggered by her then lover walking away on her (this is not dan btw). she is found unconscious by eric and rushed to the ER after overdosing and self h*rming with a pair of scissors.