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@vaultbunnie
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Ghoulcy and Water
So I’m not sure if I’m the first person to point this out, but the motif of water comes up in Cooper and Lucy scenes sooooo much, like only when they’re with each other and I wanted to just dig into that.
Why water?
Disclaimer: I have my degree in lit so I feel somewhat qualified to ramble about this but if it makes you feel better I actually consulted my old lit professor for help lol
In a lot of western fiction we see water appear as a motif for transformation and/or atonement. You are made new and clean by the rain or the river. We see this come up in stories like Fahrenheit 451 when the main character escapes by jumping into the river and being carried away.
Another use of this metaphor in the more literal aspects of water. It can also symbolize an impossible obstacle, a monolith, something you can drown in, swim in. Deep water hides secrets, treasure, darkness, bodies. Rivers can lead you to safety, quench your thirst. Rain and storms can sweep you away or wash you clean. In this way water is as versatile in its metaphor as it is in its form.
However I’m more interested in the transformation of water, how water baptizes individuals, and maybe, in a cruder sense, awakens a part of the self not yet known.
The poison river
The first time water appears in a cooper/lucy scene is the poison river. The first time they physically touch is in this scene, and it is a violent touch, followed by an immediate shift in both characters.
Lucy admires the river when she finds it, it’s one of the few instances of life in the wasteland as the river is surrounded by lush trees and grass, and Lucy even finds a baby deer, but the water hides monsters in the form of radiation and the Gulper. The Gulper snatches the pure little baby deer and drags her under the water (along with wilzigs head). Notably, the deer isn't mutated by radiation, but in fact is untouched, perfect and clean and innocent in comparison to the harsh world it comes from. Here the deer symbolizes Lucy's naivety, vulnerable and out of place to the harsh realities of the wasteland.
But then there's the Gulper, the mutated abomination that snatches the deer away so easily, dashing any hope Lucy had on the banks of the poison river. It goes with out saying how this moment works as a clear metaphor for how the Ghoul subsequently apprehends Lucy directly after this moment, which the same brutal ease of the Gulper eating the deer.
But instead of gobbling her up, he uses her for bait, dropping her into the poison river in a cruel form of baptism. This is the moment Lucy begins her transformation from idealistic vault dweller to jaded wastelander, though this is a slow and ongoing procress (and rightly so, you can't undo a lifetime of indoctrination in a few weeks). After the Gulper escapes, Cooper lashes out at Lucy, and we see her do something we have not yet see her do before at this point in the show: she lashes out right back, and while this is a normal reaction from our perspective considering the circumstances, from Lucy its the first time we see her lose her cool.
The Ghoul has baptized her in the same poison that transformed him into what he is, and from here we will see him push her to the brink trying to drag the same monster that exist in him, out of her.
"Ain't much stays clean up here, Vaultie."
By far the most significant appearance of water in the duo's relationship is drinking water, and works as the main mechanism for the Ghoul's torture of Lucy when she is his prisoner. He doesn't impede her from drinking out of contaminated puddles, but he does taunt her, dripping the water from his canteen into his mouth like precious drops of holy water, only to dump it on the ground in front of her when she begs for a drink.
While it could be argued this is the Ghoul throwing her cushy vault lifestyle back in her face, where she likely took her access to clean water for granted, I think his main goal is trying to get Lucy to sink to his level. Water is a key component of survival, and while he brings Lucy discomfort in a number of ways, depriving her of water is the fastest way to push her over the edge. He wants her to fight him for it, to hate him, and ultimately succumb to the temptation of violence, of contamination.
So when Lucy does finally give in and drinks from the piss puddle in the old tire, she is not only giving in to radiation, she's giving into his violent worldview. When he crouches down in front of her and asks "how does your golden rule jive with what's going through your head right now?" he is breaking her world view over his knee. But Lucy doesn't lash out yet. So disgusted at the monster of a man in front of her, she asks him "what are you?" because surely this cruelty is not human, it is corruption. But to her dismay the Ghoul counters, "I'm you, Sweetie, just give it a little time."
Here we see the Ghoul's worldview, that his hatred and jadedness is as inevitable as radiation poisoning. But what he is telling Lucy in this moment is, there's no trick, no inhumanity, no radioactive magic that has made him the way he is, he's just as human as she is, and that is where the cruelty is coming from. He is trying to teach her that it's not the radiation that makes monsters, but human nature.
And we see how Lucy has already been contaminated him when shortly after drinking from the puddle, she lashes out at him in violence, biting off his finger. In this moment I argue Lucy isn't even trying to escape, she's getting revenge, trying to inflict pain on him the same way he has inflicted it on her. This is how we know her transformation is underway.
Drinking from the same canteen
The next time the dynamic of drinking water comes up is one of the first moments we see the two together in season 2. Lucy drinks from her canteen and the Ghoul demands a drink. For the first in their relationship, Lucy holds some power, be it small, of possessing their water supply. Instead of asking her, he asserts his power by demanding a drink, before snatching right out of her hands. As he drinks Lucy asks, "Have you always been this rude?" and then asks if his family would like the person he's become when they find them. The Ghoul pauses his drink, still walking ahead but we can see the question has clearly unsettled him.
Clearly the influence of the water flows both ways, as from this point we see Lucy's influence over the Ghoul. In drinking from her water, the pure uncontaminated water, he seems to gain clarity, a conscience. Not only do they begin walking side by side from this point, but they begin to mirror the other's behavior and speech patterns. The Ghoul throws the golden rule in Lucy's face when she chooses to save the Legion slave over him, Lucy describes the NCR as "just a bunch of matching jackets" no doubt a sentiment she learned from Cooper's attitude towards factions, and even when they both ridicule the Legion's pronunciation of Caesar.
In a sense they has both drank of each other, and now are being transformed, intermingling their natures. Even the way they both drink from the same canteen, a simple but deeply intimate gesture of sharing a drink. It could be argued in a survival environment one cannot turn there nose up at water over cooties, however we know Cooper has his own canteen. So he is not only letting Lucy control their water supply while traveling together, but he is also choosing to put his mouth on the same canteen, as if they've been traveling together for much longer than they have in the show's timeline. And in doing so, he lets Lucy in, to his body, his heart, awakening the long suppressed humanity he had been avoiding.
This may be a stretch, but before and after he betrays Lucy, he drinks whiskey, as if trying to wash the taste and influence of her away in order to let her go. Lucy also vomits before being betrayed, throwing up his corruption over her before punching him out the same window she purged from.
Honorable Mentions
The ocean: Its the first thing Lucy sees when she emerges from the vault. I think it symbolizes the insurmountable task ahead of her, but I would also posit it represents Cooper in a way. Like him it has survived the nuclear war and destruction of the world, it has an permanence Lucy looks to for hope the same way she looks to cooper for reassurence in S2 E4
The Ship of Theseus: This also ties in with the ocean metaphor, again Cooper stands the test of time, even if he thinks he has been fully transformed, that he's not who he once was, "just a fucking pile of wood." Is he just the idea of Cooper Howard or his old humanity, is he just performing cruelty as a way to keep Lucy at arms length? This question also applies to the way he conceals his true identity from Lucy, he is preforming a character, but now he is more the Ghoul than he ever was Cooper Howard, and if that's true, what is the point of his existence? But the thing is, at his core he is still Cooper Howard, and the Theseus monologue proves it. This moment stands out because we see this rare vulnerability from the Ghoul. In a way he is admitting to his loneliness, that he can't even imagine being close to someone anymore when he's not who he was. but the very desire to be needed by Lucy, to protect her, to be chosen by her, is the real Cooper Howard and his humanity slipping through the cracks. And like water, Lucy is wearing away this walls the same way the sea seasons a ship.
The swimming pool in Novac: this is a looser connection, but I find the inclusion of the swimming pool as a set piece an interesting choice, especially when looking at the role water has play in the two's relationship. There's so much going on in this scene that is unspoken, the fact that Cooper is risking his life to keep Lucy from starving is quite revealing, even in when taking into consideration that he needed her as a bargaining chip. It's an extreme sacrifice to make for someone who you plan to discard in the near future. But anyway, back to the pool. Cooper takes cover in the pool, and as the camera reveals the scene we see "death before surrend! R!!" painting on the wall above his head. I believe the pool represents Cooper's inner desire for companionship, and how empty of any love or friendship he hides behind these walls, willing to die before making a connection with anyone. This scene demonstrates that on some level he cares for Lucy, but will not surrender to showing that. Here a pool, usually a place of fun and relaxation, has become a means for violence the same way his inner emptiness, a place meant to be filled with the nourishing water of relationships, makes him lashes out at the world... lol I know its a stretch but I tried
The hot tub flash back: Ok forgot this on so this is an edit but the scene where cooper discusses the future with Barb in the hot tub. He wants to get away from Hollywood and Vaultec and she immediately denies the idea and gets out of the hot tub. In this scene water could symbolize truth, honesty, or their relationship, and Barb choosing to remove herself shows that she's not being honest.
So that's it, thanks for coming to my ted talk. if you made it this far you're actually really cool.
deer
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a little moment
soft touch
Just old habits… 🌌
I don't even want to check when I last posted the teaser for this fic. But it's finaaaaally done! Just letting the edit sit and then I'll post it.
Edit: you can find it here
study art

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In Denial Ch2
Consider me the smut postman, as I’ve popped a package on your ao3 doorstep 🔥
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
i get so emotional every time i think about fanfic culture. it's just so beautiful that people are writing and anonymously posting these thousand-word stories about characters we all love and not even getting any money or public fame from it. it's literally just for the love of the game.
shout out to everyone who participates in fanfic culture, be it reading or writing fanfics. you are contributing to such a lovely thing <3
ALSO
Fanfic is as old as writing, if not older. A HUGE body of work in Ancient Greek was literally just Homeric fanfiction. And Homer himself may have been working off older stories, making it fic of fics.
The most primal human urge upon hearing any story is to write fic about it.
fanfiction is the original way of storytelling, it's intellectual property law that is the weird modern aberration
saving this for my dissertation, ty @omkdear 🩵
Trigger finger ☣️
Still had these lying around

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Wrangler ☢️
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