Allons-y!

                                                Fist up, head down

                                                                   ♕♕♕

[ text: ] Shower wine is way better than shower beer.

[ text: ] Terrible idea I love it

[ text: ] So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.

[ text: ] I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS

[ text: ] We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.

[ text: ] I think we should have a sex position advent calendar

[ text: ] I’m getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I’m really happy right now.

[ text: ] I’ve been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator.

[ text: ] Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn’t the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!

[ text: ] Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night

[ text: ] You’re never gonna guess who’s blood is on my shirt

[ text: ]  just curious, were the inflatable penis’ received? Amazon says they were delivered.

[ text: ] True strength comes from lack of pants

[ text: ] My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand? more importantly I need two hands to eat pie.

[ text: ] this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity

[ text: ] If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would’ve caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.

[ text: ] Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don’t ask questions, just show me your genitals.

[ text: ] Dude we need to hang out soon. I’m in the mood to get arrested again.

[ text: ] I just want somebody who’ll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt.

[ text: ] Besides, I’m booked tomorrow. I’m planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.

[ text: ] I was mad at her…then I jerked off. Now I’m over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.

[ text: ] I’m glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me “daddy”?

[ text: ] Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.

[To: Foolish Child]

[txt:] Dear Champion.

[txt:] It is not my job to babysit, nor my desire.

[To: Foolish Child]

[txt:] Not everything involving romance is meant to be happy. 

[txt:] True romance is rather painful.

          [txt] glass.and come here and make me if you’re so set on it.

[To: Foolish Child]

[txt:] Shouldn’t a champion be focusing her attentions on something a bit more… logical?

[txt:] I believe it has to do with symbolism.

[txt:] Meant to be romantic. 

          [txt] not when said champion is letting her tired team rest for the night.