writing x reader fics used to be something i did to make myself feel better when i was down but now if i try to write it when i have a bad day im just like 😭 get this bitch out of story she shouldn’t be there

i do not mean this in a rude way but i think posting abt one piece has scared me so far bc the selfshippers are very intense in that fandom and everything is 10x more serious in selfship tumblr land than regular x reader land </3 and being someone who is a very slow watcher of literally everything + probably will take my entire life to catch up to one piece, it's been a very isolating experience and has made me actively not want to even watch it at all until recently

yeahhh i'm literally never getting another comm, i have been ghosted by 3 different artists after they agreed to do them, and one of them said she'd give me a refund 2 months ago and still hasn't .

i got the stranger things care bears 🥹🥹🥹 i could not resist, they are so cute and i loved care bears as a kid sobsob

one recent development i hate on here is that everything is viewed thru a selfship lens now. and while i do write almost every fic about myself i don’t… want people to read it like that lol. i want it to be a SELF INSERT, i want it to be a story. bc i do very much struggle with emotional vulnerability, so even the thought that ppl might be reading it like that has made me uncomfortable and has taken away a lot of my excitement about posting.

the concept of having discourse over how to proceed if you like a figment of someone’s imagination and someone else also happens to love that imaginary being

i love texting my childhood friend who i used to write spn fanfic with every time i start watching supernatural again bc i’m like omg i loooveee dean did you know that i love him i love him so much and she’s like 🫩

was starting to tell my irl about tumblr and how i was mad and i was like …. unreal girl pls get a grip 💀

i need to leave tumblr for like 2 months

tbh my motivation to finish this event is kind of dying :/ i still have 3 unfinished, but it's the fact that i'm putting so much effort into them and they all get <100 notes, when some of my fics on that same blog have 15k notes .... bro

whenever i see people who just finished iwtv and they’re like i need s3 NOWWWWW. imagine how tired i am 😔

there used to be a time tumblr used to make me feel less lonely and now i think it just makes it worse

lost followers after my iwtv spam as i intended

nobody has to say anything to this btw it’s more of a observation. but since i don’t post about selfships, it is kind of hard to feel like i have value in this space, like. i have nothing to offer to people and sometimes (often) being a nice person isn’t enough, i have to provide them with something to be appreciated.

me and my interview with the vampire quotes against the world

the amount of fics ive been seeing lately that have 50 notes and would’ve gotten 500 back in the day makes me extremely sad