nite of the undead

writing a cover letter is just like: here is my worksona she has no mental illnesses and hates breaks! i would like to larp her for 40 hours a week with full pay and benefits

me and the bois GETTIN EVOLVED

when the vitamin gummies kick in

cowboy themed restaurant where theres always a guy playing piano and every other time someone enters through the swinging saloon doors they bang on the keys and everyone goes quiet and stares at them until theyre seated

theres always a lone cowboy on staff that shows up when a guest has a birthday n they put on a big show like theyre robbing the joint n they challenge the birthday person to a duel but they both got those lil funny guns with the pop out sign that says BANG!

shots cost a nickel but u gotta trade in 5 dollars for 5 nickels so it feels like ur in cowboy times but really ur paying out the ass for fireball in an authentically spit-shined shot glass that probably still has the stink of the last 6 guys’s lips that drank from it

only thing on the menu is steak & beans

This would be a good place to actually rob without anybody realizing it until it’s too late

just dont do it while the waiter dressed like wyatt earp is on duty we are not responsible for when or if he snaps

no smart appliances in this house. absolute fucking moron appliances only. my toaster is there to make bread hot not to tweet what time I ate breakfast or whatever the fuck

don't need my goddamn microwave to snitch to the nsa

if i am somehow forced to own a smart appliance (likely due to lack of availability) i will figure out how to take the computer out and make it dumb

lobotomize your coffeemaker

alien bussy fingering simulator 2019

certified iconic post

I get on tumblr dot com, reblog 100 posts in less then 5 minutes, then i leave

Older sisters have both a god and victim complex

The fact that Dante created the most popular image of the afterlife with absolutely no theological basis for it will still be the funniest thing to me

Obsessed with the idea that one single extra-long diss track changed the face of european christianity because the namedropping was killer and the rhyming system just THAT sick 

Gen Z has a collective hero complex and that’s going result in a massive emotional burnout. Advocating and raising awareness for issues is undoubtedly a good thing, but thinking you are obligated to end or solve every injustice in the world is going devestate your mental health. I don’t want to sound disheartening or pessimistic but signing a few petitions won’t end the humanitarian crisis in Yemen or police brutality. It will of course help reach our goals, but not end it. Thinking the world will change in two month won’t work, this will take generations. Many have felt so burnt out lately and feel guilty about not being able to do more, I admire how empathetic our generation is, but we have to understand that we can’t save everyone. Many others have been in activism and protesting for decade, not just gen z, change takes time. Prioritize advocating and donating in your own communities. Change is slow but it will surely come. Keep your heads up. Think globally, act locally.

body positivity has largely failed because people started arguing for attractiveness and romantic prospects instead of respect and dignity