૮( ˃ ꒳ ˂)ა ◟/づ🦴

𐔌 ᛝ alex/alexander .ᐟ 𐂯

˚₊‧꒰ა he/it ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

𓏵‧₊˚ ┊ 17 ᛝ eng/pl

⌗ !! ꒰ border collie cambitherian, basil otherhearted, wolf, vampire ꒱

꒰ → bpd ᛝ autism [undiagnosed but pretty sure] ◟ ``

𐔌 . ⋮ main fandoms: omori, vivid/stasis, needy streamer overload, higurashi when they cry, future diary, yun yun syndrome .ᐟ ֹ ₊ ꒱

⋆. 𐙚˚࿔ interests: photography, collecting, animals, rhythm games ˚⋆ ˖ ֹ੭ pin: https://pl.pinterest.com/vampirepupp ⊹ ࣪ ⑅

° „ ★ tags: ⤷ #woofs!! - my posts⠀Ⳋ ⤷ #rewoofs!! - reblogs Ⳋ ⤷ #wags tail!! - reblogs of my interests Ⳋ

today i went to get photos to photo shop or whatever its called for someone and it felt so calm

lately ive been feeling bad, because of some of my "friends" but going out made me feel better and also have hope for the future

mine looks a little worse because im not a good cook T_T

but its really yummy ^_^

i hate and despise ai.

i try to use it as little as possible i only used it once or two for my homework and like a year ago i used to vent to it but fortunately i stopped.

im learning photography in technical school (idk how to name it in english srry) and some teachers allow us to use ai in photo editing and i don't like it but its not that bad.

the worst thing is that in fourth class there will be a new subject and guess what? we will have ai lessons. 2 times in a week. for a whole year. we will be learning how to use ai in images and art.

AND IM SO MAD. I DONT WANT TO GO ON THESE LESSONS. IM UPSET THAT I DONT HAVE ANY CHOICE. MAYBE I DONT WANT TO USE AI?

the only thing im waiting for is to live without parents, to be able to express myself fully, to have a partner that would love me unconditionally, to know how to cope with my bpd, awful thoughts and overthinking and not to sh everytime i get upset or mad or feel rejected or feel any "bad" emotion, to stop crawling back to my ex because i still love him after these 2 fucking years

there is so much more but i don't have the energy to list everything

will i ever get better? im losing hope.