haunted

Sunday went slowly; it concerned you how quiet your mum was being. The room was always filled with background TV sounds, music on cheap CDs, or the consistent buzz of the kitchen light. But her voice was missing. 

You peeked into her bedroom on your way to school, trying not to make any noise that would startle her and plaster on the fake calm smile that she has been putting on lately. 

Why now, you wondered? It’s not like she used to hide her emotions before. 

You left home for school with a small frown, and tried to drown your thoughts with loud music. School went normally. You sat with Jess; with the corner of your eye, you could still see the table, now abandoned, where you used to sit. 

You could feel her eyes on you while she talked about some exam one of the other girls took. As soon as the bell rang, you whispered a goodbye and got up to grab the things from your locker. 

A shadow followed you; as you turned, Jess's worried expression was there. “Is everything okay?”

You nodded. ”Yeah, I just need to run some errands.” Lying was wrong; you knew that. But it felt necessary now. You’ve just fixed things with Jess; venting to her wasn’t ideal. 

“Oh…” Her eyes narrowed a little. “Do you want some help?”

“No, it’s fine, really!” You spotted Jess's boyfriend at the end of the hallway, looking at both of you with a grin on his face that you couldn’t read. “Looks like he’s waiting for you.”

Jess turned and she looked at you with a half-grin that let you know she wasn’t happy about this. But she hugged you anyway and walked off. 

You decided to go through the gym door; the multitude would overwhelm you, and you were already too overstimulated. Going through the parking lot, you saw a familiar car, with its familiar owner about to go in. 

He waved at you and walked up to you with a careful smile on his face. 

“Hey…” he started, bouncing a little with his hands in his pockets. “Everything alright?” 

You rolled your eyes, sick of that question from everyone. “Yeah, I’m just heading home.” 

“Alright,” he whispered, looking to the ground, a little taken aback. “You shouldn’t use that door; if anyone catches you, you could be in trouble.” 

“So, you don’t count?” You smiled a little, relaxing your shoulders. 

He seemed to think about it before chuckling. “You’re getting comfortable, doll.” He shook his head. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell.” He winked at you, and you looked around trying not to blush. 

“So, you want a ride?” He broke the silence, turning just enough to point at his car behind him.

The deep black colour of it sent you back to last night; his smile faded a little when his eyes reached for your expression. 

“I’ve gotta go somewhere first,” you lied, again today. “But I could pass by and help you with Jack again.” 

His eyes lit up a little and he nodded, thinking before saying something you knew he didn't want to say. “Sure, of course.” He waved you goodbye again and walked off with a wry smile. 

You turned too, and kept your eyes on the ground until the beaming smile on your face went away. 

You didn’t spend much time at home; as soon as you ate, you showered and packed a few things before going out again. Your mum looked at you, confused but with a soft smile that reached her eyes this time. The journey on the bus felt light compared to this morning. 

Maybe it was because you no longer had to put up with the dizzying, strong perfumes or how packed it was; maybe you just liked where you were going this time. 

The bus left you a few streets away from his house; you’ve never been in this neighborhood before, and every time you came and went it was by car. The houses were all the same; it reminded you of the magazines your mum used to use when you were both painting your nails when you were little. A sad smile came to you. 

Just when you were turning, a familiar voice reached your ears. By impulse, you decided to stop before turning. 

“It’s not my fault, Axel…” You recognized Jess, but she didn’t sound like herself; her voice faded to a soft tone that you had never heard from her. “She’s my friend.”

“Since when, huh?” His tone made you flinch back to hide more. “All of a sudden, she’s your best friend again? Besides, you said she was a little weird and I can definitely see that.” 

“I should go…” She stepped back enough that you could see her. 

“C'mon baby, you know I just want the best…” His voice softened but kept higher than hers. 

“I’ll see you at school,” Jess walked away, her face down and in long steps that reminded you of yourself too much. 

When you got to Mr. B’s door, the sky’s light was starting to fade; you rang twice. He answered a little after the second one, opening the door with a small, confident smile that reminded you of how he was at the beginning. 

He stepped to the side, letting you pass, and closed it behind you. You’ve gotten used to his house by now, bringing you a small comfort that only familiarity could give you. 

“Where’s Jack?” you asked, looking upstairs, a little curious by how silent the house was. 

“He fell asleep a while ago,” he said, heading to the living room. You followed him. 

He sat on the couch and looked up at you. “What's in there?” He pointed to the small bag. 

“I thought about bringing a few things for Jack, and I also have some homework in case this happened.” You grabbed the side of it a little tighter. 

“You want me to help you? With the homework?” He smiled and brushed his fingers against the bag. You looked at them before nodding. 

“Sure.” You tried to sound casual, turning to go to the dining table. You stood beside the chair and looked at him. 

“Get comfortable, doll. Sit wherever you want.” He pulled the chair out for you and sat beside you. You put the stuff on the table and opened a book with some notes between the pages. 

“It’s literature,” you pointed out. “I have to write an essay and do research about whatever I want,” you explained.

“And what’s your topic?” He looked into your eyes, pushing the book aside a little. 

“That’s the problem.” You sighed. “I don’t know; I tried to look up some interesting research topics, but the teacher wants us to make it ours.” You dragged out the last word and leaned against the back of the chair, looking back at the book in front of you. 

“It’s alright,” he brushed your fingers, bringing your attention back to him. “You love to read, right? Maybe something about that.”

You smiled. “There’s no research about me liking to read.” 

“Well, you’ve had a rough year, no?” He lowered his voice and got a little closer. “And you felt…”

“A little isolated.” You finished for him. Your fingers started to brush against the side of your thighs, and you looked ahead again. 

“Maybe you could write about it, try to understand it, and investigate your feelings,” he continued. 

“How do you know?” 

“I pay attention to you, doll.” He cupped your chin and made you look at him. “And you make me care.” He whispered, looking into your eyes and trying to reach inside you. You couldn’t help but look at his lips, biting your own. 

“You make me feel,” you confessed, looking up to his eyes again. Your eyes met his hungry stare. “I like how you make me feel.” In a second, he pulled you closer, and crashed his mouth into you. The kiss wasn’t slow, it lured you into his arms and made you want it more. The small gap between your bodies didn’t keep him from passing his arm to the back of your neck and sliding the other to the side of your waist. 

He pecked your bottom lip, with a care that made you melt in his arms. You couldn’t help a disappointed sigh when he pulled away, creating some distance again except from his hand that moved to your knee.

“Is that okay?” He whispered. 

You nodded; you could feel the heat on your cheeks, on your whole body. But you could also see how affected he was, his uneven breath and the reddened lips that made him look younger, freer. 

It made you smile and with a boldness created by the kiss, you rested your face against his side. Wanting to feel more, more contact. 

He tensed at first but the more you stayed, the more he relaxed under your weight. 

“Did I help you with your homework?” He asked after a while. 

“Yeah.” 

“I’m glad I could help, doll.” You pulled away to look at him. 

“Why do you call me doll?” He sighed and leaned against his chair. 

“Aren’t you curious?” He chuckled to himself and shook his face. 

At that moment, a little voice you’ve grown to love screamed your name from the opened door of the living room. 

“¡Hey!! How was your nap?” You stood up and he hugged your leg. Jack started explaining to you excitedly his dream, while he pulled you upstairs to play. You smiled to Mr. B before letting yourself get dragged upstairs.

You were between dinosaurs and hula hops when you hear a knock on the door. Jack’s mum opened it slowly. The smiling kid jumped to his mum after hugging you goodbye. 

Sarah waved at you goodbye downstairs, and you went to the living room to pack your things as she and her brother talked on the door. 

When the door closed, you were already ready to go. 

“He really likes you.” 

“I really like him too,” you smiled. “I should go too.”

“Yes, of course.” He shook his head like he was going back to reality. “I’ll drive you.” 

You would have argued against it, but you already knew it was useless, besides you like his car. It was very… his. 

He parked a street away from yours, as usual. The night was silent, but the kind where you can appreciate nature and almost here new growing flowers. 

“Listen…” He turned to you, but before he could finish the sentence you decided to be the first tonight. 

“Can I come back tomorrow after school?” Your question took him by surprise, but he didn’t let you see that for long before a crafty smile took its place. 

“Jack won't be there.” He tried to confirm something you both already knew. You nodded expecting him to continue. “That’s okay by me.” He finally said with a smile. 

“Good night Mr. B.” He chuckled at the name but didn’t say anything. 

“Goodnight, doll.” And before second thoughts, you pecked him on the mouth and got out of the car as quickly as possible. You could hear his surprised laugh after a second, but you were already out his reach. 

When you got home, your mum was already in bed. You hadn’t realised it was almost ten o’clock, it wasn’t usual for you to be tired at this time but the second you touched the bed you fell asleep. 

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sooooo... we're entering the honeymoon phase darlings

next chapter:

The day passed, and your phone felt heavy in your hand. You knew what you had to do, what he told you to do, but somehow his chat now felt more taboo than ever. You knew what you did, what he followed, and part of you didn’t regret that at all, but then his face after he pulled you away came to mind, and the heavy sight that followed it stabbed the little confidence you had left.

But you had to. That’s what you kept telling yourself, and a Saturday afternoon seemed a good day; that way you didn't need to see him the next day. After you left school yesterday afternoon, the air felt drier than ever. Jess texted you, asking you what happened. But could you tell her? Each time you thought about it, whenever you crossed him in the hallways or were near him on the trainings, you reminded yourself that he could get in trouble. You were the one who kissed him, and even if things were better with Jess now, the words wouldn’t leave your mouth each time you tried to open up.

It was decided: you had to text him. You grabbed your phone with shaky hands, and before you could regret it, the message was sent. It was nothing: a shy “hi.” But you knew what it meant. He read it instantly, and it comforted you to think he had been waiting for this as well. You closed the phone and put it face down on the mattress when you heard the soft buzz. “Hi, I’m glad you reached out.” He texted. “Hey.” “Of course.” You took a deep breath. The chat went silent for a minute; you barely reached to close the phone when it buzzed again. “How do you want to talk?” You felt your heart race; you knew this was the real reason, but it was really happening now. “I don’t mind.” “You could come over and visit Jack and stay a little when he leaves.” His house, he wanted you there again. You smiled before noticing and bit your lip, trying to sound as casual as you could, but somehow you still felt like he could notice how nervous you were throughout the screen. “Sure, what time?” You reread it before sending it. “Six it’s okay?” You nodded in real life and sent him a quick okay, before starting to get ready.

You were at his door five minutes earlier. You got your phone in and out of your pocket a few times before decking to finally knock. He opened with a radiant smile, as if you were just there to hang out instead of talking. You could hear Jack upstairs, probably playing with his toys, but he walked you to the living room first. “I’m glad you could come.” He smiled and sat, looking up to you as if he was waiting for you to do the same. “Yeah, I don’t usually have many plans.” You pressed your lips together, regretting saying anything. “Well, lucky me then.” He said before silence filled the room. “I should go say hi to Jack, no?” You pointed upstairs, and he stood up with an apologetic smile. “Of course, my sister is picking him up in half an hour. I’ll be down here if you need anything.” You nodded and went upstairs. The big smile on Jack's face calmed any nervousness you had, and you stayed playing with him, feeling so comforting every time you could make him laugh.

It seemed that only a few minutes had passed when you heard a small knock on the open door. Mr. B was standing there, he was leaning against the door frame which made you think that he had been there longer than you thought. “Mum's here, kid.” He said, acting with some mockery, but his grin faded into a soft smile when he saw Jack’s pouty lips. He hugged you goodbye, and clung to your leg until Mr. B had to pull him away to carry him downstairs. His mum was waiting at the door for him. Her eyes lighted up when she saw her son, before turning her eyes to you. Mr. B noticed and hurried next to your side. “This is Sarah, Jack’s mum. Sarah, this is the best babysitter you could find.” She smiled and shook your hand slightly, with a care that made you feel safe with her instantly.

After they small-talked a little, you hugged Jack goodbye and smiled at his mum before waving a little goodbye. Mr. B closed the door behind them with a content sigh before looking down at you with a little smile. “So, do you want anything to eat or drink after all that playing?” He nodded a little to the side, and you walked to the sofa. “No, thanks…” You looked around a little before sitting down next to him. “So, how do you want to talk about it?” You cringed at your boldness, he raised his eyebrows and broke eye contact for a long second. “Yeah. Right, talking,” he hawked before looking back at you. “I just wanted to apologize, I took advantage of the situation and I shouldn’t have let anything go this far.” He said it without breathing between words as if he had been practicing before you even texted him. Your hands relaxed on your lap, with some mixed disappointment. He tried to catch your eye, seemingly picking on that disappointed. “You didn’t do anything wrong… It was me, doll. I promise.” He presses his lips at the pet name. That wasn’t practiced. “I didn’t mind it…” You tried to explain, ignoring everything on you that was telling you to stop talking and just nod. “I liked it, actually.” you confessed in a whisper. He sighed, and it clenched your heart when he did. He rubbed his face, letting them fall on the back of his neck. Your eyes start to water a little, he looks defeated, with his eyes zoning out probably trying to figure out how to deal with this. With you. “You shouldn’t like it. I’m too old, doll.” His hand falls on your knee, his eyes glaze over it for a moment before taking it off. “I know, but…” You couldn’t find the voice to talk, and your throat felt too tight for the words to come out. “I should go, thanks for apologising even if you didn’t need to.” You stood up so quickly that it made you a little dizzy. He grabbed your wrist slightly. “Wait, no. Talk to me.” He softens his voice. You let him move you until you're standing between his legs, he looks up to you and reached to take a small tear that had fallen from your cheek. “I know you’re right, and it was wrong but… It didn’t feel wrong.” You leaned your face onto his hand before he took it off to take both your hands in his. “I know, but we can’t. You're so young and I shouldn’t.” You sat again next to him, and he faced you completely.

“But, would you want to… repeat it?” He sighed and shook his head to himself. “That doesn’t matter.” He whispers. “It does to me,” you insisted. And stay closer to him. He looked at you again with a pained look that gave the answer away. Your whole body felt on fire when he was so close, reaching to you even if he was still so far away. You couldn’t help it but look down at his lips and back up, silently asking for permission. He went closer, almost brushing your lips again before pulling away with a pained groan.

“It’s late, I should take you home.” He whispered, disappearing to the hallway. You sat on the sofa, alone now looking straight to the small TV in front of you. You could see your reflection on it. Likewise, you saw your wide eyes open still in shock from his sudden flight. Your parted lips and the tears building up on the corners of your eyes. He came back with a dark brown leather jacket on and his car keys in his hand. You didn't wait for him to tell you anything and just passed carefully not to brush him on your way out. He opened the passenger door for you and whispered to you to buckle up. But you didn’t look back. The ride was silent. He asked you to put music on and a few other questions, but you stared out of the window and replied with yes or no. The trees were moving due to the small wind outside and the moon could be seen between them. Your fingers went to your own little moon hanging on your neck.

The car stopped a few streets before yours, and you unbuckled, ready to leave as fast as you could. He looked at you, you wished you could read his mind. His gaze was soft, but you knew he was thinking about a million things right now. A million things you won’t ask for. “Wait…” He started. “You don’t need to apologise for anything. I already told you.” You answered dryly, because “I don’t want to apologize. I want to know what you’re thinking.” He moved his hands closer, but stopped it midway, just inches away from touching you. “You probably already know. You always know everything.” You said, staring up to the moon with a resigned tone. He sighed. “Don’t be like that.” Your teeth pressed against each other and the small tears came back. “I should go.” You turned to open the door. And he reached you. His hands curled around your arm, and he pulled into a small hug. “Goodnight, doll.” He let you go, and you whispered back to him before disappearing to the back door of your house, a few streets higher than where he parked.

When you got home all the lights were off, the only sound you could hear was the small and far away mumbling of the neighbour's TV. You put on your earphones and didn’t even change clothes before getting in bed. As much as you tried, sleep didn’t come to you, and it just made you twist in bed, making the sheets feel heavy on you even if you were closer now to autumn that you were to summer. You liked the cold, it was comfortable because, what could you expect from it? The sun made you shy. It made you act carefully because you knew his warmth wouldn’t last forever, but you were afraid you would forget it. Lose yourself in it.

No matter how much you tried there was no way, so you got up and lit a candle. You weren’t ready for big lights yet. Coffee wasn’t the smartest option right now so you made some tea and stayed close off to the dim light. It was strange to have this silence. It didn’t disturb you, but there was an off-putting sense about it that you didn’t appreciate. When the coffee was read you grabbed it and sat on the porch. Cuddling in a pilling blanket that was older than you.

You used to find so much peace in these nights, the moon was the only thing aware that you were awake, and she kept her secrets well hidden. But now there was buzzing in your head, his voice was the only thing you could hear right now. You frowned at the darkness outside, you shouldn’t be mad, it's his job. The breeze made you curl tighter into the blanket. He wasn’t innocent either, he created the fantasy but was afraid to take the last step to make it a reality. You sighed and looked up, trying to clear your head. And turned the volume up trying to calm your thoughts. It must have been long since you got out to the porch but when you woke up the sun was already making itself notice.

There was finally noise inside the house, the off-putting feeling went away as soon as you got out. You folded the blanket and picked up the half drank tea to head inside and finally make the coffee you’ve been craving since last night. When you reached the kitchen, your mum’s face was all you needed to see before approaching quickly, letting the blanket fall down to the floor. You hugged her quietly, and she stayed still in your arms before letting her head fall a little onto the top of yours. “He’s…” You didn’t need her to finish the sentence. You knew. So you took her hand and sat her down on the couch, wrapping the blanket that had comforted you around her. You kissed her forehead and made some coffee for both of you.

“I’m sorry, mum.” You sat next to her and cuddled close. She cleared her little tears and blinked twice before reaching for the coffee. “It’s okay, baby.” She pecked your cheek and handed you your coffee. “Let’s watch a movie together, alright? Girls day!” She reached for the remote control and started searching for a movie. The room fall into a comfortable silence, the only thing now making a sound was the horror comedy on. And even if you both loved the genre, none of you were watching it.

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thats all babes, I replay enjoyed writing this chapter!! tell me if you want to get added to the tag list

next chapter: you make me feel (chapter X)

You girls went to a McDonald's in the mall. Jess stayed close to you, and you were grateful for that; the rest were nice, but you couldn’t help noticing how they looked at you sometimes. They smiled when you caught them looking, and you knew there wasn’t malice in their eyes, just… curiosity? But it made you feel like an outsider in many ways. 

It had been long since you went to McDonald's; going out alone to a place filled with teenagers made your heart ache, you tried once; your mum was too busy to make dinner, and you were starving so you walked by, but next to the self-order kiosk there was a table full of people from your high school. You stayed on the door debating if it was worth it, but the second one of them turned a little to the door, the decision was clear. 

Now you weren’t alone though, and even if you hated it sometimes Jess’s being next to you was comforting. You ordered some nuggets and an ice cream, with a diet coke. Between the rest they decided to order some things to share. 

“Are you sure you don't want to share with us?” Jess asked, just loud enough for you to hear. But you shook your head, it wasn’t because you didn’t want to, you weren't sure they wanted you too. 

Your order was the smallest so it arrived first, you told them you were heading to the table but none of them turned to acknowledge you except Jess who followed behind you. 

“Hey…” She sat next to you, with the same careful look the rest of the team gave you. “Are you okay? You didn’t need to come if you didn’t feel comfortable…” Her proximity made you shrink in your seat, which made you feel even more guilty. 

“Yeah, everything’s fine, I just don't want to force myself in.” Your words came a little strangled, and you hated how true they were. Jess smiled. “You’re not forcing yourself in, you’re part of the team.” She clarified so naturally that made you a little envious. “Besides, they already like you, I promise.”

Before you could answer two more of the girls came to the table, holding some drinks. The conversation flowed between them, and you listened with a soft smile on your face. 

You still didn't talk much when the rest came, but you noticed little smiles they gave you and their eyes were no longer careful when they looked at you.

It was close to nine pm when their mums started calling them and almost in systematic pairs and trios they started going home. Five minutes later there were only four of you on the table. 

“Jess, do you want to come with us?” She smiled, and you could see the yes on her eyes, but she looked at you and shook her head. 

The other two looked at you, and you could tell they were thinking something that they’ll later talk about, they said goodbye and hugged Jess. One of them approached you and opened her arms a little as she was waiting for you to make the decision about hugging her or not. You gave her a small hug, it must have looked awkward from the outside, but you finally relaxed. When you pulled away you looked at the other girl, but she avoided your eyes and whispered a goodbye before disappearing towards the door.

Jess and you were left alone, you got out to a soft wind that made you miss a jacket. Neither of you talked, but the silence was comfortable. After a while you decided to break the silence. “You didn’t have to walk with me, it would have been okay if you went with them…” You looked straight while you said it out of shyness. “I wanted to, don’t worry. You know me better than to think I'd do something that I don’t want to.” 

It was the first time she acknowledged the friendship you once had, but you decided to not say anything about it. The wind was starting to get bigger, and you knew a storm was coming. She slowed her peace, and you did too, looking to her to see if anything was wrong. 

“Is everything alright?” She didn’t meet your eyes. “I know I asked you before too but… since when is your dad back?”  

Your hands went still on each of your sides and your lips pressed until you knew they were turning yellow. Your eyes were now the ones on the ground, and when Jess sensed your stillness she knew the answer. She reached for your arm and smiled trying to be comforting. 

“We can talk, you know?” She put herself in front of you and lowered herself a little to meet your eyes. “We are friends, you can trust me.” 

“Yeah? I trusted you before too, and you disappeared from my life.” The tone wasn’t resenting, just sad but Jess pulled away anyway, she let her hands fall from your side and looked at you with her wide eyes open; the same way she used to whenever someone told them no. 

“Sorry,” you apologized, maybe because you didn’t want to blow this; and because you knew that now that you tasted friendship, letting it go would hurt even more. “I didn’t mean to say.” 

She sighed and started to walk again, faster than her normal peace and you followed behind. 

“You’re right,” she whispered as she wasn’t ready to say it. The words made you almost hopeful that this wasn’t over. “But I miss being your friend. I like the other girls but you feel genuine… You feel home.” 

You hugged her, and she froze. The impulse wasn’t something you were used to, but this felt good. Seconds away, when you were ready to pull away she hugged you tighter and your chest warmed until you understood what she meant by home. 

You got in your room by the window. You knew your mum had questions when you asked her to go out, it was all over her face, but you weren’t ready for them. After showering you laid on your bed with the shirt sticking to your back from your still wet hair, but you didn't mind the cold, not when you were so happy inside. 

When you looked at your phone you realized something, you hadn’t thought about Mr. B all day. His name stung on your head, you threw your phone to the side of the bed and sat up. Suddenly you needed another shower because his voice was starting to make his way to your mind. 

Doll.

A little smile forced its way to your lips and all you could hope was that the hot water boiled away your confusing feelings.

A week passed and life started feeling shorter, days passed more quickly and the sun was up less. The classes were still boring, but there was that familiar tension all students got before Christmas break, you were no exception to that. Jess and you started to go out more, on study dates or just going for a walk and there was still a conversation hanging between you both, but it could wait. 

Training though, was a different story. You could feel his eyes on you every time, and they pierced through your back, but whenever you7 looked back he was looking elsewhere. There was no staying behind any more, no more going out by the teachers' door…

You were in the fields with Jess, waiting for the rest of the group to come, music played on the wired headphones you were sharing, and she was with her phone when you watched Mr. B pass through the camp. Seeing him was a different experience every time, you opened your lips slightly. His last words snapped to your head every time you saw him making you feel dizzy standing on your feet. 

“We’ll talk about it okay… I promise you.” There was anger now instead of the sweetness that you once felt when you remembered his promise. Not necessarily at him, but at yourself because you still felt hope whenever you saw him. That he’ll ask you about your day like he did or brushed his fingers against your arm like he used to. But silence made your heart ache whenever he was close. 

He turned to you and Jess. His eyes stayed on you for seconds that felt too long, crossing all over your face as if he was trying to read your face. Then he smiled at Jess, raising his eyebrows a little before quickly trying to hide his expression. But you saw. You always saw him. 

The training went as usual, your legs cramped at the end of it, and he let all of you a few extra minutes to rest. When you sat on the cold artificial grass you saw some blood on your calf. It came from a cute little shave that you must have scraped while playing. 

“Oh god, is that blood?” One of the girls sat beside you exclaimed. Most of the team turned to you, who were already red. 

“No, it's okay. I cut myself accidentally, that's all.” But it was too late and Mr. B was already kneeling in front of you. 

“Accidentally?” He asked loud enough for you to hear. You frowned and pulled your leg to yourself. 

“Of course!” He sighed and said bye to the rest of the girls, trying to clear the little agglomeration. You got up, ready to leave as well when he brushed your arm, just shy of grabbing, and stopped you. 

 “Wait, let me take care of that.” He said low like it was a secret. Jess, who was close, turned as well, and you showed the question in her eyes. 

“Go with them, I have to talk to him about something.” She nodded, but you realised how bad the excuse was.

Mr. B waited until she got out of sight to get closer to you. 

“It’s just a cut,” you protested lightly. 

“It can get infected.” He started walking to his office, making you follow him behind. When you got to the office he pulled the chair for you to sit and kneel again once you sat. 

The clock was the only thing you could hear for a minute, he got a little white box with disinfectant and some bandage. 

“You're not using the bandage, right?” He chuckled a little, but the air kept feeling stiff after that. 

“All done,” he got up and closed behind you when you both were out. The wind was starting to rise, and you felt little goosebumps. So you said thank you and turned. 

“Wait, I…” He started and sighted mid-sentence, like he had been containing it for too long. “We should talk.” 

You froze at his words and your fingers find their way to your necklace, trying to keep your fingers from pinching your skiing. He looked at you, and you realized he hadn’t looked at you until now. 

“Yeah, we should.” You took your eyes away first and looked down to the ground before looking at him again. “But not now, okay? I have to go home and…” 

“Yeah, no. Whenever you can.” He pressured to clarify. 

“I’ll text you?” The question felt more delicate than it should, he just nodded. 

“Of course" He agreed, and stepped closer. 

“Bye…” He said, and added your name as he passed next to you, making chills go up your spine and your fingers freeze on your necklace. 

You didn’t move until you heard him far enough and just then, you went home.

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soooo, I need your opinionsss. and tell me if you want to get add to the tag list.

next chapter: moon talks (chapter IX)

He accompanied you to the door when detention ended. You’ve been looking at each other, you looking over the edges of your book and him smiling while trying to focus on his laptop, you bit your inner cheek trying to suppress a smile. The day has cleared up a little, so you’ll probably walk home that day. He smiled at you before standing in front of his car, and waving goodbye. You were glad he didn’t offer you a ride this time, you needed the silence and a moment alone to process it. 

That evening your parents weren’t home, they didn’t even send a text to  make sure you were home, you throwed the phone to the bed and turned on the heater while you prepared for the shower.

You smiled, and brushed your fingers remembering him. You knew it was wrong and the little voice in your head told you to get a way. He was your teacher, he smiled at you at the training and put his hands on you when you two were alone. But your heart clenched the wrong way when you thought at how he looked the other way when you were with more people. He warmed you inside and he hasn't done anything appropriate in any way…

But the secret felt heavy on your back, it’s not like you had anyone to tell it to anyways. 

After showering you laid on your back with your fresh pyjamas and a fresh lighted candle. You knew you should feel at peace, but everything seemed to clean. You turned on some music and instead clearing your head it made it more chaotic. 

Eventually, you fall asleep.

++

You got up at the sound of the car machine. You heard the keys open the door and drunk laughter filled the room. 

After that, hurried steps got into the bedroom. You covered yourself more, and put on your headphones. 

The next day your mum was nowhere to be seen. Your dad was already up, sitting on the sofa with his cigarettes in the arm of the couch.  

“Have you seen mum?” You asked him, glancing at him because you weren't sure if it was a good moment. 

“She’s at a cowerkorker’s, or something like that.?” He didn’t look at you. 

“She went there early then.” You tried to push it. 

“Nah, she stayed the night there.”

Realization came to you like a freezing breeze. You locked yourself in your room and got out from your window, the last thing you wanted was him to ask questions. Tears piled up, but you refused to cry. You didn’t even know why you were crying, it wasn’t your relationship.  Before you noticed you were calling Mr. B, even after he told you not to. 

“Hey,” you tried not to sob between words but the fact that he picked up after the first ringed didn’t make it easier. 

“Are you okay?” He immediately asked. “I’m picking you up, wait there.” 

He hanged, and not even fifteen minutes passed he was parking in front of you. You got in the car with your hands trembling. “I have class today.” You whispered. 

“You want to go?” He asked, looking ahead with his grip closed tight on the wheel. You shook your head and he started to drive off until he arrived at his house. He unbelted you and helped you out of the car. 

Once you were inside he held your hand and sat you down. “What happened, doll?” 

“He’s cheating, again.” 

You tapped your fingers nervously against your knee and he sighed. “I don’t know why it affects me so much.” 

“Because you have a big heart, doll.” He reached out for you and pulled you into a hug. You let him hold you and, even if you froze for a moment, you held onto him and cried harder. 

“It’s okay, baby. Let it all out. I’m here for you.” 

You put enough distance between you too to look at him. “I’m sorry,” you looked at his shirt. “I ruined your shirt.”

He brushed your tears away and whispered while he shook his head. “It 's alright.” He caressed your cheek, soothing the tears away. “I wish I could make it better for you, doll.”

You looked at him, with a small pout after all the crying. He looked at your lips , like he’s allowing himself a peak after overthinking too much about it . Even if it was just for a second you realised, and opened your mouth slightly. He looked up at your eyes again, the question evident in his eyes. You pulled your head back,and his brows untensed as he relaxed his grip on you, preparing for you to pull away even if he seemed disappointed by it. 

You looked back down at his lips and sighed a little, before pulling him close again.

You cut the distance, giving a small kiss to his upper lip, before pulling away again. He closed the distance this time and kissed you like he had been holding for a long time, with a hand between your hair and the other one cupping your cheek. You put your hands on his shoulders, trying to push him closer. His hands lowered to hold onto your hips and moved you closer, making a small moan come out from your lips.

And, as quickly as it started, it ended. He pulled you away, lifting you and sitting you aside onto the couch. You got up and went to sit in the chair next to the couch, hugging yourself. 

“Fuck…” He whispered. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…” He looked at you. “You should go, this is not okay nor my intention.” 

You hugged yourself, embarrassed and looked to the ground trying to process everything. You could feel your heart everywhere. He sighed and stood up to kneel in front of you. 

“It’s okay, it’s nothing to be ashamed of.” He took a deep breath before talking again. “We’ll talk about it okay… I promise you. It has nothing to do with you.” He cupped your cheek one last time and leaned to kiss your forehead before calling a cab on you.

The cab seat was cold, you looked back to his door before the car got started. He didn’t even look you in your eyes when he said goodbye. The cab driver looked at you from the little mirror  on the top of the car, you were pretty sure you were crying but he didn’t say anything about it and you didn’t look back at him either, afraid he might ask you what’s wrong. 

You kept bouncing your leg and looking out of the window, it was the first time you actually wanted to go home. You went to hug yourself because the cab left the passenger seat window open, when you touched yourself you realized that you no longer had the jacket on. You left it. But you weren’t going to text him. 

You could still see the instant regret in his eyes, the way he pulled away from you like you burned and sat you next to him so he could walk away. But it felt good to kiss him, the memory made your cheeks burn in heat, even if you didn’t want to. The cab arrived home, you approached the driver’s window when you got off to pay but he told you it was already paid. He looked at you with a frown that told you he pity you. It pissed you off. You thanked him and went to your bedroom window. You weren’t in the mood to find your mum fake smiling and cooking for him again. 

You didn’t even change before getting into bed and there were so many clouds in your head that you couldn’t even cry. And before you could notice you fell asleep. 

+++

The day felt musky, and you could tell autumn was starting to creep in by the way the sheets felt lighter. The house was silent, the type of silence that made you know you parents have been up ‘till late last night. 

The alarm hadn’t even sounded yet when you woke up, but it was impossible for you to go back to sleep. So you put on sweatpants and a hoodie that was lingering in your desk chair from last week and decided to go out; you didn’t want to be there when they woke up.

You liked this weather, the morning like that had you crossing your arms over your chest. You put on your headphones and walked to the only coffee shop you knew would be open at this time.

The tables were still empty and they were only cleaning up when you arrived. You ordered your usual and sat to wait. 

You were glad that the only thing you were listening to now was music, your head hurted from yesterday. From thinking. 

You paid and thanked the waitress before heading back home to get ready. You entered through the window again and brushed your hair quickly before grabbing your backpack and heading to school. 

+++

You didn't see him all day in school, you had training later so you weren’t looking forward to that. He owed you an explanation, didn’t he? You couldn't be imagining all that, he was… he wanted to kiss you, he looked first. 

You wanted to see him, and look at his face to try to see what he was thinking but you were afraid about what you’ll find. 

He promised he’ll talk to you after, and he’s sincere you knew that much. 

It was raining again when school finished, you had nothing but your hoodie to not get soaked, so you tried to hurry. A car stopped by you as you were walking, you turned almost smiling in hope that it could be him. But it wasn't his car. 

The window rolled down and Jess poked his head out a little. 

“Hey, wanna get it?” she looked everywhere but you. “It’s just me and the girls here, we were going to go eat out, you can come. Or we could drop you home if you aren't up to it.” She said quickly, almost embarrassed. You didn’t want to bother thinking how genuine she was being so you thanked her and went. 

A few other girls said hey, friendly, before going back to their conversations. Jess and you were the only ones in silence, you could see she was trying to come up with something for conversation but she didn’t and decided to turn up the music. 

“So, you’re coming with us?” She asked you once you were arriving on your street. 

“You want me to?” You looked straight and said lower, you didn’t want the other to hear, it felt like you were asking her permission.

Jess smiled and nodded. 

“I’ll come with you to drop the bag home.” She unlocked her door and run to the porch, you followed her. 

Your mum was standing behind the door when you opened.

“It’s impossible to keep track of you, you know that?” She tried to sound somewhat authoritative but you could hear the concern in her voice. 

“I’ve just been hanging out.” Your mum sighed, as if she didn’t believe you. It wasn’t entirely a lie either. 

“Hey,” Jess made herself known. Your mum’s frown disappeared when she heard her behind you. She went and hugged her. You sneaked behind your mum to leave your back in the dinner room before going back out. They were talking like they were best friends. You felt like you were interrupting when you went to say goodbye. 

“We’re going out to eat mum.” They both looked at you, “where’s dad by the way?” 

Your mum looked at Jess and you back and forth, and smiled in the gentle forced way you’ve seen her do every time he was mentioned. 

“He’s out.” She let you pass in front of her and gave you a little hug, but her shoulders were tenser now. “Do you need more money or anything?” You shook your head. “Bye, girls! Have fun.” 

She closed the door with more force than she needed to. 

“Your dad’s back home?” Jess asked. 

You nodded and she gave you a look you knew very well. She used to give you that look a lot when you were still best friends, it looked really close to pity.

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upssss, there it goes....

next chapter: ephemeris breaks (chapter VIII)

When you woke up your dad was already up, the smell of fresh made coffee was everywhere and the soft murmur of the radio playing was already there. Your dad liked his mornings. He had been waking up early since you were small, no matter how late he went to sleep or how rough the past day had been. He then half slept to a documentary on tv and woke up screaming for food like a kid would do. 

Today was a good day. You could tell by the laugh of your mother on the other side of your room. She wasn’t a morning person, but she always changed herself to the person next to her. 

You’ve always suspected it has been that way for a really long time. Because when she wasn’t with a partner it’s like she was dead on the inside. 

You’ve dressed quickly, picked your clothes up from the floor and put on your only shoes that were decent enough for school. You speed through the hallway, looking around for any other students that were late to that class. You had to go to the auditorium that morning and the director was really strict. A voice calling you by your surname made you turn. Ms Gray was there, she was a vile woman who Jess and you used to mimic under your bray when you still hung up. You stopped walking and she picked up the peace towards you, the click of her heel becoming stronger by the moment and her strange smell of burnt cigarettes and cologne surrounded you. 

“Late again,” she raised her eyebrow. “At least you bother to come now.” She started walking again and you followed her, with your arms crossed. She guided you to the auditorium and made you stay by her side during the whole speech. You sticked your eyes to the ground when everyone turned at your entrance, guiding a little behind Ms Gray when she stood at the wall. 

The talk passed slowly, and you couldn't use your headphones because Mrs Gray didn’t stop looking back at you. Mr. B wasn’t anywhere to be seen, you smiled to yourself remembering the conversation. You leaned against the wall, the bittersweet feeling was there, before going to sleep you stood up thinking about it. He was the first on your chat list and you glanced over it a few times, finally you just waited until the screen went black to go to sleep. 

The shivering feeling was over now and you just felt warm inside recalling it. He told you to call him James, again. The door of the auditorium opened again, and you saw him coming through the door. You  smiled to yourself but tried to bite it back because the room was now fully illuminated. Mrs Gray walked to him and whispered something to his ear pointing at you. Then she disappeared, and he walked to you. Until he was standing at your side. 

“Hey,” you whispered, happier now that he was here. But he just nodded and kept his eyes straight, crossing his arm over his chest. 

You stepped back, and opened your mouth to repeat it, maybe he didn’t hear. He turned to his head a little, but stopped midway and kept his head up and straight. You leaned back against the wall, crossing your arms and no longer smiling that he was there. You crossed your arms as well and looked to the ground, just waiting until the talk was over. The air felt stiff all of the sudden and you felt some tension between you two, the awkward kind this time. But maybe you were imagining it, as well as everything else. 

Once the talk was over you rushed to the door, brushing past his arm. You could feel his eyes on your back but it didn’t stop you. It was already lunch time when you managed to get out of the multitude but you weren’t going into the cafeteria. It was windy outside but that didn’t stop you from going out to the field. It comforted you to be there, it felt safe. You sat in the stands as you used to do by now.  You got your earphones out, and sat, bored waiting for the next class to start. Your chest still lingered with some humiliation from before, the feeling burned. You didn’t want it to affect you as much, the situation looked smaller than what it felt and there was no one for you to talk about it. 

The wind blew your hair away from your face and in a way you enjoyed the cold feeling of it. You closed your eyes and sighed, what were you thinking? That he would mean something.

“Mrs Gray told me you’d get detention for arriving late to the auditorium.,” he was standing in front of, with his hands on his pockets but his eyes down to the ground. 

“Okay,” you didn’t dare to look up to him as well. It felt wrong, uncomfortable. “I’ll be there.” You nodded, looking at the arounds before sitting next to you, with his thigh brushing yours. Your eyes perked at the sudden proximity but chose to not mind it. Your fingers tapped against your thighs, he glanced at the movement but didn’t say anything. 

“Listen,” he cleared his throat, his voice growing deeper, he didn’t sound like he was in the car. “It was my mistake, but we shouldn’t have talked like that. On the phone, yesterday.” 

Your mouth dried, you opened your mouth to say something but closed it. He kept talking. 

“I understand why you might have done it, but it can’t happen again.” His hand reached your knee, giving it a gentle squeeze before looking up to your eyes for the first time today. “You understand me, do you?” He lowered his voice, in a gentle whisper.  

You nodded, you couldn’t keep your eyes off his. You understood what he was saying but his eyes told you differently, you bit back a nervous smile. 

“Don’t do that, you’re beautiful when you smile.” He stood up, suddenly, leaving your knee suddenly cold. “Now, get to class. You already have one detention.”

You chuckled but got up. And hurried to your next class.

The day went off as usual after that, the cafeteria was as loud as always, you weren’t up to it that day. When the day finished you were already heading out but you remembered you still had detention. 

The room was empty when you got in, you sat as far away as the door, leaning your head against the cold window that still got droplets of rain. It wasn't worse than home. You picked out the book you had been reading for months now. You used to  read so much before and finished books in a few days, but lately you’ve been putting off everything, even what you used to like. 

You opened the book halfway, you barely remembered the storyline but it hooked you off immediately, a few minutes passed and the door opened. 

“At least you’re reading.” Mrs Gray sighed, “you know the rules, don’t you?” You nodded, it wasn’t your first time in detention, but it was your first time alone. 

“Mr. B offered to supervise you during this hour. He should be here in nothing.” She looked at you over her glasses. “Can I trust you to be alone for a few minutes?”

You nodded again, she stopped before going out and looked at you over her shoulder. 

“You used to be a little more vocal than this.” She didn’t wait for you to answer and left the room. 

You didn’t know how much had passed when Mr. B hurried in. He wasn’t on his sweattrack as usual, you’ve only seen him once like that. And it was a bittersweet feeling. He had only his keys in his hand and a little backpack. 

He closed the door behind him before looking at you. 

“Hey doll, what are you reading?” His tone was casual. Too casual for the conversation you had only moments ago, the word dool took you by surprise. You tried to keep your head lowered onto the book, and copy his nonchalance.

“The bell jar.” He raised an eyebrow and sat on the table in front of you.  

“I would have never imagined,” he said lower in a playful tone. You put the book down and finally looked at you, he smiled at your attention. 

“What do you mean by that?” You sat up and crossed your arms over your chest. 

“Don’t blame me, it was an assumption.”

“I told you I read.” You insisted.

“I know, butI thought you meant romance and girly stuff. Do you like it?” 

“First off all, that’s so sexist. And I mean… I like alright. It’s interesting how she’s treated, and how she treats people.” You closed the book and smiled. “Did you like it?”

“How do you know I’ve read it?”

“You had it on your bookshelf.” You pressed your lips together and leaned back. “I mean, I saw it casually…”

“It was good, but she has better books.” He interrupted you. 

“Mr. B…” You started.

“James.” He corrected you. You smiled a little and kept going. 

“James, did you really not like me texting you? I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.” He sighed.

“It wasn’t uncomfortable, it’s just… I like talking to you but texting at night seems meaningful.” He picked your hand and brushed his fingers against yours. “I don’t want you to do anything you regret.” He whispered. The silence stretched, you could only focus into how his fingers felt against yours.  

“Why would I regret it, it’s just talking right?” You looked up to him, but his eyes were locked onto your hands together, and you knew you didn’t mean your words, the butterflies in your chest wouldn’t be there if you meant them. 

As if he was thinking the same, he asked you.

“You mean that?” His eyes didn’t look up to yours. But this time it was you who chose to remain silent.

When you didn’t answer he filled the silence himself, pulling his hands away from yours and shaking slightly with his head. “You should go back to your book, the best part is yet to come?” He seemed to be about to stand up, it felt wrong but you wanted him to stay there with you. “Do you need more help with Jack?” You tried to keep the conversation going.

“Not now, but I’ll tell you if something comes up. Besides, I'm sure you’re busy.”

“Yeah with my girly stuff.” That pushed a laugh out of him. 

“Come on, I didn’t mean it like that.” He tried to excuse himself, raising his arms in sign of peace.  

“Sure…” You picked up your book again, and started reading again.

He chuckled and stood up, heading back to his desk. “You’re getting smart on me, kid.”

“I’m not a kid.” Your eyes didn’t leave the words but you pulled the book higher to cover the blush on your cheeks.  

“Sure you’re not..” He said the words to himself opening his backpack and sitting to do his work.

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who knows what is going to happen next... I still have to review this chapter so sorry if this has any mistakes. tell me if you wanna get tagged!! im sorry if i miss any of youu.

next chapter: new cold days (chapter VII)

The dinner room was empty when you arrived, there were some employees smoking on the corner of the parking lot and a few cars parked that looked like they had been at the dinner for a long time. Even if the place didn’t look its best the shining letters of DINNER were illuminating all the place. You looked at Mr.B, unsure if he still wanted to come in after all but his eyes looked lost in the building and he started walking without saying anything. You followed him looking at your arounds, especially at the smokers in the corner; for some reason, they were all staring at you now. 

The hamburger was so good, it has been a long time since you had eaten something that wasn’t preheated and, even if you had your doubts, the food was homemade.

“I used to come here every Friday,” Mr. B started, “right after class. We left the bags in the car and left it there for the whole night until we came back.” 

“Sounds really American.”

He chuckled and took a sip of his drink. “You guys probably do worse things than that.”

He was right, kind of. You haven’t been doing anything at all in a really long time, but you didn’t need him to know that you were a loser since the new year started. 

So you shrugged and waited for him to keep talking. 

“I remember now,” he leaned back into his chair. “You said you're a listener right?” 

“You remember that?” Your brows raised a little. 

“Why wouldn’t I?” He looked away and bit his inner cheek. He sighed and lowered his voice just for you to hear, even if the dinner was empty. “I don’t want you to be just a listener with me.”

You blushed a little and started to play with your bracelet, the silence stretched between the two of you but he didn’t try to save it. He was looking at you. Trying to get some type of answer just from the look in your eyes. And you looked away, afraid he might get it. Suddenly the clock was ticking too loud.

“What do you mean?” You said to the ground. 

“I just know that the quietest persons have the brightest minds, and you’re always pretty quiet.” He tried to soften his voice, you saw him look at you waiting for some type of response. He noticed you. You smiled nervously at the fact that  knew you were quiet and that he remembered you’re a listener. You tapped your finger against your thigh and fought to swallow a smile; he grinned with satisfaction at your nervous tick and leaned back again

He opened his mouth like he might say something more. But your phone rang and broke the silence.

It was your dad. And a bunch of messages from your mum that you weren’t going to open. You locked your phone again, trying to forget it. But the moment was already gone and he was already looking for his wallet to pay. 

“You don’t have to pay,” you rushed to say.

“What type of  person would I be if I let a girl like you pay…?” He joked, but the money was already on the table and he was picking up his jacket for both of you to go. You hid your smile as you turned for your jacket. He was already up when you looked back at him, bending a little to offer you his hand dramatically. 

You giggled and he followed you to the car.

***

He turned on the car light because it was already really dark outside. The days were ending sooner and the calls were accumulating on your phone. Mr B waited until you were buckled up to start the car and drive. 

“Who keeps calling you?” He tried to say in a forced casual voice. 

“Noboby,” you turned your phone upside down. He didn’t ask again but you kept explaining. “My dad, he’s back with my mum.” 

“You don’t sound too happy about it,” he pointed out as he began to drive. You shrug, trying to put an end to the conversation. “I get it, you know? having weird parents. It doesn’t make you a bad daughter not being happy about it. 

“I know but…” But you didn’t know. His words touched a part of you that you didn't know it was there. Before you could help it tears were rolling down your cheeks and you tried to stop them before it was too late but he held both your hands with his and made you look at him.

“It's okay, doll. I’m here.”

His words only made you cry more, you put your head to the other way, ashamed. You didn’t want him to see you like that. 

He brushed your chin and turned your head to him again. And then before you could think twice, you put your hands around his neck and hug him. He froze for a second, but tried to regain composure and hugged you back. 

Putting one hand to the back of your neck to invite you to lean in the crook of his neck and the other one around your waist. You sobbed, and tried to stop to dry your tears from time to time at first but he caressed your head and told you that everything will be okay. So, in that moment, you chose to believe him. 

“Want me to take you home?” He whispered when your sobs became weaker. You didn’t want that, even less now. But there wasn’t anywhere else you could go so you nodded and carefully pulled away. 

You saw his shirt, the higher part had a big wet spot. You looked away immediately. 

“Sorry,” you managed to get out in a shaky voice. He realized what you meant and shook his head in his usual carefree smile. 

“It’s okay, doll. I have plenty like this one.” 

He started driving, looking at you from time to time, making silly comments but you could still see the little concerned frown. He parked a street away from your house, you were glad. With all the tears you forgot what people would think if they saw you getting home late in a teacher’s car. 

“Will you tell?” You unbuckled your seat belt, the neighbourhood was quiet at this time of the evening, and the only thing you could hear was one or two tvs too loud. 

He sighed, and looked like he was considering it for a moment. “I won’t,” he turned to you. “But promise me you will come to me if anything happens.” You lingered a little and he insisted. “It’s not negotiable.”

“I promise,” you finally said with a sad smile that he stared at too much. 

“Okay,” he leaned back to his seat. “Go home, doll.”

You waved bye and got out of the car. 

***

“Where the fuck have you been!?” It was the first thing you heard when you opened your door. 

“Around,” you tried to keep calm and go straight to your room instead of trying to keep talking. 

“Com here, honey. Say ‘hey’ to your dad.” You sighed and stopped at the doorframe of the living room. 

“Hey,” you tried to sound as unbothered as you could but your eyes were on the ground, not daring to look up to him. The smell of cooked meal filled your nostrils and you looked at your mum with a face of indignity that you couldn’t hide. 

“You’ve cooked?” You accused her, and straightened a little. 

She looked around before smiling pleased, she always had that smile when your dad was around. It worked at first, he smiled back at her when as time went on he stopped. It was a cynical cycle, you’ve always thought of it like that. 

She looked at your dad who lightened a cigarette and turned the volume of the tv, disappearing into his own world. 

“Yeah, I thought it would be nice to have a daily dinner.”  She kept setting the table, trying to act unbothered but she was stumbling on her own words. 

“I’ve already had dinner,” you turned to go to your room but our mum insisted. 

“I’m not hungry, since when do you offer me dinner anyways.” She opened her mouth in surprise. Before she could say anything, –– or nothing as she normally does; your dad got up and pulled a chair for you. 

“Sit,” he said abnormally quietly. 

You sat in front of him and next to your mum. He looked at you one last time before sitting closer to the table. Your mum waited until he started eating to start herself and nodded at you to do the same.The only thing that could be heard was the sound of the news in the back and the metallic sound of the cutlery. Nobody said anything, but you didn't dare to get up until your mum and your dad were already on the sofa. 

You put your earphones the minute you got to your room, pressing your lips too hard against each other to repress the tears. You tried to distract yourself until you finally decided to watch a movie. 

You picked your phone, looking for someone to text but Jess was weird now and… your list didn't go further than that. Then you saw Mr B’s chat. 

When you entered it, the conversation looked so normal and even formal on the outside but you could still feel the butterflies from when you opened the first time. Your fingers hanged over the keyboard tentatively, you typed a hey but you cringed at yourself and deleted it, before making a mistake. 

The movie got on but you’d lost the plot line already. You picked the phone again and texted a hii, and pressed send before you could overthink it more. 

You turned it over immediately and the phone buzzed. A childish scream got out before you could help it, you covered your mouth and looked at the door for two seconds that felt too long. 

You picked your phone and saw the message from the lockscreen. “Hii,” he mirrored. “Everything okay?” 

You sighed and remembered him asking you to tell him if anything was wrong, he probably thought you were in danger, not just bored. You closed your eyes and laid back again, your hand went to your necklace as you stared at the unopened message.

“Yeah, it’s fine.” You groaned and rolled in bed to your stomach. “Have you read The Bell Jar?” You frowned at the message, but you still were relieved he didn’t end the converstaion there. 

“No, is it good?” 

“Yeah, it’s so good. I can’t believe you haven’t read it. What do kids this age do in their free time?” You giggled and smiled shyly. 

“I’m not a kid.” You corrected him quickly. “Besides, I do read. A lot, actually.” 

“Oh really? You should give me some recommendations.” You looked at your books, some of them were organized but most of them were piled on a corner. “Maybe, yeah.”

He started typing something but stopped a second later. You bit your nails. 

“Go to bed, doll” He finally sent. Your smile faded a little but you understood he probably had better things to do. “Sure, goodnight Mr. B”

“You can call me James.” You bit a smile back. “Goodnight, doll.”

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any thoughts on this onee? have goodnight babees

previous one: 'pretty girls shouldn't cry' (chapter IV)

next one: sylvia for bonding (chapter VI)

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